Is It High School Yet? - Democratic Underground

NanceGreggs

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Tue Jul-29-08 07:51 PM
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Is It High School Yet?

The minute John McCain was named the GOP’s presidential nominee, I imagined a no-nonsense campaign run with military precision, rife with references to the bravery of a soldier who had withstood torture and lived to tell the tale – and I fully expected that it would be a tale that was told over, and over, and over. (Well, at least I got that part right.)

What I never envisioned was a campaign based on constant whining, utter childishness, and never-ending cry-babying by the alleged war hero we’ve heard about, ad naseum, for decades.

In pop culture terms, I expected a harkening back to Combat or The Gallant Men, rather than Room 222 or Welcome Back, Kotter. But rather than addressing the serious challenges facing the nation, the McCain camp is apparently fixated on a high school mentality that most savvy politicians abandon once they’ve graduated into adult life.

Today’s rumour from McCain's homeroom is that “Obama has more fans than Paris Hilton.” As the nation faces economic disaster, THIS is what is being passed off as serious political discourse. God help us all.

Perhaps the tone was set by our current substitute president, who, like many of the substitute teachers we had back in high school, was in over his head from day one.

For several years now, the GOPers at the back of the classroom have been telling him that our regular president promised that if it was a nice day, we could have class outside; and if he didn’t like the Constitution, school policy dictated that he could just tear it up and throw it away.

(Interesting trivia fact: The names Pootie-Poot and Turdblossom actually originated from the attendance list dutifully filled-out by Bush’s first-day students, Chuck Wagon and Ophelia Rass.)

But just because McCain’s party has run up their mom’s credit card, partied when they should have been studying, and totaled dad’s car, is that any excuse for reverting to behavior that consists of dissin’ the school’s most popular kid to the exclusion of more productive pastimes?

The sad thing is that even if Obama were willing to wallow in the McCain high school mentality, he’d still be ahead: basketball hero, popular with the girls, invited to all of the “in” parties, able to pass a pop quiz on any topic (while Johnnie still needs a cheat-sheet in order to come up with the current price of gas), along with being voted Most Likely To Kick John McC’s Butt in the yearbook poll.

While Obama is busy discussing solutions for a failing economy, the disaster that is Iraq, and the damage done to the nation by the Republicans (and their substitute president), McCain continues to fail history, math and science, while preaching to the kids in detention hall about how that other guy thinks he’s SO BIG.

At this rate, I can only wonder what’s next: grafitti on the boys’ room stalls stating that Barack throws like a girl? TP’ing Obama’s campaign headquarters? Maybe a note passed around the cafeteria declaring that the Democratic nominee is not as popular as Paris Hilton after all?

Well, let me revert back to my own high school days and call it: next election, adults only – no kids allowed. That means NO whining to the principal about that other kid getting more Valentine’s cards from the class than you did, NO crying over not making the team because that other kid cheated by being better than you, and absolutely NO temper tantrums because everyone likes that other kid and thinks you’re a waste of time.

I can only hope that mommie will be there to hold Johnnie’s hand on Election Night, when he’s sobbing his heart out over how unfair it is that while that other kid is being applauded the world over, Johnnie doesn’t even have a date for the prom.