BREAKING: Hurricane Sarah Poised to Strike Twin Cities; Landfall Imminent

[many a good man]

A rare subarctic hurricane, originating in Alaska, is barreling its way across the continental United States and experts predict it will make landfall at the site of the Republican National Convention in Minneapolis-St. Paul in the coming days or hours. It is too early to tell whether the severity will be mild or catastrophic. Partial evacuation plans are in effect as both President Bush and the presumptive Republican nominee John McCain have fled to the the relative safety of the Gulf Coast.

Hurricane Sarah has been upgraded to Category 3 but many experts predict it to strengthen as new reports come in by the hour testifying to its destructiveness and potential for mayhem. Republican climate experts, however, are in full denial while an anxious public clings to television reports that are characteristically incomplete or inconclusive.

Stay tuned for breaking updates....

[many a good man]

1. UPDATE: New Orleans Spared, GOP Buffeted by Strong Winds

With Minneapolis all but deserted by the national media, Hurricane Sarah continues to gather strength and relentlessly lash at convention delegates. Bands of high winds and heavy rains continue to plague the quadrennial convention site leaving delegates huddling in their rooms in dread and fear. Alaska National Guardsman have been mobilized but their Commander-in-Chief is nowhere to be found.