I Read It In a Want Ad

[NanceGreggs]

Well, this explains everything:

Printed in Mat-Su Valley Frontiersman week of August 25 – 29, 2008
Want Ads Section:

Employment Opportunity

Highly motivated political organization seeking applicants for position of Vice Presidential Nominee. Due to the urgency of filling this post immediately, the screening of applicants will be less rigorous than is usual, thereby offering the opportunity of a lifetime for those whose resumes and backgrounds might not have been considered suitable in the past.

The successful applicant will be:

(a) a member of the Republican Party (or willing to sign up – expedited registration available upon request)
(b) a self-described ‘Christian’ who belongs to a sect known to be far-out or just plain whacky
(c) able to shoot and skin a caribou
(d) the parent of at least three children, or possibly four

Further qualifications (optional):

(a) A knowledge of international affairs. Note: Living in a state situated between two countries (e.g. Russia and Canada) is considered sufficient expertise in this area. Ability to speak Canadian fluently a definite plus!
(b) Experience in military affairs (actual dealings with US military an asset, but association with beauty pageants, or other recognized organizations will also be taken into consideration)

Personal qualities we’re looking for:

(a) Leadership – PTA experience an absolute asset!
(b) Perkiness – always a vote-getter
(c) Ability to lie with a straight face (we have a team of experts who are available for counseling in this regard)
(d) Ability to be less than forthcoming when challenged on previous positions held, previous voting record, etc. (Again, assistance is available in dealing with inconvenient facts.)

Possible Disqualifiers:

If you answer “not true” to more than four of the following questions, your application may not be approved for further consideration:

(a) I am not currently the target of more than a dozen investigations the subject of which could seriously damage the party’s image
(b) I have not been publicly associated with any organization that could be deemed un-American (e.g. a group that advocates secession from the US) in the past thirty-six hours
(c) I have never served as the mayor of a town with a population of less than twelve people
(d) I have never advocated the building of a "Bridge to Nowhere" between the years 1946 and 1957

Note to Applicants:

Please do not be discouraged by a lack of knowledge as to what the vice president does on a daily basis. A complete job description will be provided after you are duly sworn-in.

In order to expedite the process of having a VP nominee in place no later than Friday, August 29, “vetting” will take place after the public announcement of your appointment.


Please forward to:
McCain Campaign Headquarters
P.O. Box 666
Washington, D.C.

[Lisa0825]

1. LOL! How did I miss this?!

You even got his PO box right! :rofl:

[AuntPatsy]

2. very cute but sad that is exactly what they are pushing as qualifications for President because

the fact is the VP is next in line for the president and should be noted and understood that the vp slot is much more important than some are saying that it is..