Palin is appealing to some key sociodemographics and we'd better wise up.

AnarchoFreeThinker

(1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Tue Sep-02-08 10:30 AM
Original message

Palin is appealing to some key sociodemographics and we'd better wise up.

Edited on Tue Sep-02-08 10:45 AM by dmsRoar

There are crucial blocks of voters that the numerous Palin scandals will in fact cater to and attract to the ticket. We've got to face facts here, and it ain't pretty.

1. Anti-American secessionist patriots. Not a large group, but a group rarely wooed. They'll love her.

2. Parents who preach abstinence only who are soon to be surprise grandparents. In our country this is a massive block of voters whose self-righteous hypocrisy has finally been validated by someone equally as self-righteous and hypocritical.

3. Reformers who ran 527s and copped millions in earmarks. Now the average Joe who's run a 527 and touted reform can vote for a real role model.

4. Bitter busybodies who help hatch revenge plots against their sisters ex-husbands. Ever watch Nancy Grace? The country is teeming with these folks. And make no mistake about it: as their hateful lives collapse around them they'll still find time to vote on Election Day as long as it doesn't interfere with their plans to hit someone.

5. Polar bear lovers who hate the terrain that provides polar bear habitat. I think by now we all realize that polar bears are awesome, so awesome they wouldn't allow themselves the wussy designation of "endangered" if they had any say about it. There's no need to protect such totally awesome polar bears by not drilling right through their dens to black gold. And, let's face it, Democrats have dropped the ball on capturing the mood of the electorate on this.

6. Voters who have been looking for a Vice President who professes no understanding of what a Vice president does. Let's not kid ourselves. If we're honest, that's exactly the kind of Vice President we all have secretly desired during these times of great national crisis. But what kind of lame ass does the Democratic Party put up? Yep, someone with a full grasp of all the issues who is ready to step into the job immediately.

7. Parents of children serving in Iraq or about to serve in Iraq who profess no knowledge or understanding of the nature of the conflict in Iraq that will be affecting their children. Sure, perhaps only eight or nine voters nationwide fall into this group, but they've found their candidate. And they vote.

8. Freudians. Fans of one of psychology's true pioneers simply can't believe how enamored they are with the McCain-Palin ticket. Really, they can't believe it. They can't stop thinking about it or talking about it either. Let's face it, they're obsessing about it. If they could vote three times for this ticket they would while screaming "Electra" in the booth.

9. Women who want to vote for a woman who loves causes that are harmful to women. I'm sorry to report that Palin is the perfect VP for those voters willing to stand underneath the glass ceiling as it shatters and impales them with thousands of foot-long dagger-shards.

10. Voters hoping for more politicians who wrench tax money from their grasps in order to build bridges to nowhere and then deny they ever wanted to build bridges to nowhere. We're in trouble, fellow Democrats. It's true. The republicans have totally wrapped up the stupid vote.

ed for sp