:ROFL: - Democratic Underground

NanceGreggs

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Thu Sep-04-08 03:26 AM
Original message

:ROFL:

Edited on Thu Sep-04-08 03:33 AM by NanceGreggs

Okay, honestly, GOP, you’ve got to stop – you’re killin’ me!

The joke always starts the same: “So, Sarah Palin walks into the VP slot and …”

But in the grand tradition of the knock-knock joke, the punchlines are varied and endless – and the Republican spokes-hairdos and punditidiots just keep coming up with new ones.

Well, at this point, everyone already has their favorite, and given the wealth of choices, it’s hard to pick just one – almost as hard as P.O.W. McSame picking a viable running mate.

“She’s the governor of our largest state.” Well, that’s a sure-fire winner for the Republicans. You see, the thing is that Alaska doesn’t have a lot of people, and Republicans don’t care much about people, so you can understand their obsession with square miles rather than population. Fewer people means lower unemployment numbers, lower below-poverty-line numbers, lower teen-age pregnancy numbers – and don’t go ruining the joke by pullin’ that per capita crap.

“She has foreign policy experience because she’s lived between two foreign countries.” And while she hasn’t mastered Russian yet, I understand she does speak fluent Canadian as a result of the proximity.

“Palin is a world traveler.” And don’t we all know it! Weren’t the newspapers full of stories about how she accomplished world peace during her stop-over in Ireland? Oh, sure, she wasn’t there a lengthy period of time – but how long does it take to buy one of those plastic Miss Congeniality trophies at the gift shop anyway?

“She’s fully vetted.” Kinda like my cat, who sees the vet on a regular basis. The last visit lasted twenty minutes, and cost two hundred bucks. If the good doctor had been interviewing him for the VP job instead of giving him a flea treatment, my bill would have been half of what it was.

“She’s a hockey mom!” With the intellect of a hockey puck. If the country really needed a self-serving, vengeful, clueless-but-arrogant idiot who is actually dumb enough to think they’re capable of running a country, she’d be perfect!

“Her meteoric rise in politics rivals that of Obama’s.” Well, okay, if you leave out all of that stuff about running a flawless campaign, winning millions of votes in the primaries, drawing crowds of 200,000 people, garnering the respect of world leaders – yadda, yadda, yadda – you can hardly tell them apart!

“She’s a fine Christian role model.” I know, I know – and I hear the National Enquirer will be doing a lengthy series on just how fine a Christian she’s been.

“She’s knowledgeable enough to take on the vice presidency.” And I’m sure that as soon as someone answers her query as to “what a vice president actually does”, she’ll be on her way!

“She’s tough and knows how to get things done.” Just ask her brother-in-law, and the guy who refused to fire him – they’ll tell you.

Ah, yes, the laughter inspired by Goodie Palin is the best entertainment the GOP has offered in a long time, and doesn’t show any signs of tapering off anytime soon.

“How many Sarah Palins does it take to screw-in a lightbulb?” She doesn’t know – but if that’s part of what a vice president does, she’s sure she can do it.”

“Knock, knock, who’s there?” Sarah Palin. “Sarah Palin who?” Well, there’s a question no one will be able answer within the next few months, except to say, “No, don’t tell me – gimme a sec, I’m sure I can come up with it – sounds so familiar, but …”

“Why did the chicken cross the road?” To vote for Obama/Biden - because the alternative was just too damned laughable to be taken seriously.”