EXCLUSIVE: McCain Campaign Memo to Charlie Gibson of ABC News

[thepurpose]

See the entire memo at Betty Cracker here are some of the approve questions Charlie will be allowed to ask:

Governor, the McCain campaign, which has consistently battled the scurrilous sexism of the left-wing media, declined to allow this interview until you were “comfortable.” Are you comfortable now? Would you like a blanket? Can I bring you some lemonade?

Governor, I’m going to ask you a question that’s of utmost importance to all Americans: Is John McCain as heroic and mavericky in person as he is on TV?

There’s a controversy surrounding one of aspect of your life in Alaska, America’s mavericky frontier. Please settle it for us once and for all – do you like A1 Steak Sauce or Heinz 57 on mooseburgers?

Governor, every American man, woman and child was riveted by John McCain’s war stories and account of his life as a POW during the recent Republican National Convention. As we all know, he’s very reluctant to talk about that aspect of his life. In fact, it’s been reported that campaign operatives have to beat President McCain (heh, I mean Presidential Candidate McCain, heh) with bamboo sticks to compel him to talk about his war experiences – he’s that reluctant to discuss them. What is your favorite McCain imprisonment or war story?

Another controversy that has been widely reported in the far-left media concerns your disposal of a state-owned jet when you took office as governor. Can you detail your plan to auction Air Force Two on eBay and wipe out the national debt when you become Vice President?

Governor, the American people are fed up with pork-barrel spending and government waste. As we all know, you heroically told congress to stick those Bridge to Nowhere funds where the sun don’t shine and cleaned up government operations in Alaska. A two-part question on that: How does it feel to co-lead a revolution in government with a mavericky war hero? Secondly, what steps will you and President McCain take to ensure the Democrats don’t once again seize power and run up deficit spending?

As you know, Barack Obama’s baby mama has been a controversial figure, making statements on the campaign trail that some have interpreted as the loony blather of a wild-eyed black nationalist. I’d like a one-word answer to this question: Have you always been proud to be an American?

Possible Black Panther Michelle Obama has some interesting associations in her past life. So does your husband, Todd Palin. Can you tell us about his ties to the snowmobile racing circuit?

Governor, you’ve been subjected to the most base, disgusting speculation in the Marxist media that dominates this country. We’ve witnessed the most indecent invasion of a politician’s private life in the history of the United States. To close our interview, I’d like to make a symbolic gesture of atonement as an American journalist, a gesture that will be familiar to hockey moms – and pit bulls – nationwide. As you see, I’ve brought a special “McCain-Palin” hockey stick with me. As I stand here before you in a Larry Craig wide stance, please take this hockey stick and hit me in the nuts with it as hard as you can. C’mon Governor, give it your best shot.

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[Beartracks]

1. "ties to the snowmobile racing circuit" LOL n/t