Spaniards Vow To Once Again Decimate Population Of New World

[Xipe Totec]

MADRID—Seeking to reestablish Spain's global dominance after centuries of diminished empire, Spanish King Juan Carlos proclaimed yesterday his intention to unleash a mighty fighting force of conquistadores to reconquer, convert, enslave, and exploit the native populations of the Western Hemisphere.

"Be warned, peoples of the Americas, for the Reino Imperio de España comes to wreak havoc upon your heads and bring you under the yoke of Christ, God save you," he added.



http://www.theonion.com/content/node/55531


McCain could not be reached for comment.

[sharp_stick]

1. Fantastic stuff

How does the onion manage to keep it up?

[thoughtcrime1984]

2. In what respect, you damn, dirty, Spaniards??!!!!?!

[izzybeans]

3. I dare ye' in Fancy Pants. I dare ye' to board me ship.

Arrrggghhhh...

[nichomachus]

4. As long as they bring Patatas Bravas

[hvn_nbr_2]

5. Palin said "I can see Taco Bell from my house. I've got Spain covered." nt

[WolverineDG]

8. Also takes care of Mexico & Latin America (except for Brazil) nt

[hogwyld]

10. I saw Brazil play soccer before

so they're covered as well...

[codjh9]

6. I love it - the headline alone had me laughing out loud. Thanks. (I now Quake With Fear)

[11 Bravo]

7. If they promise to re-institute the Inquisition, Caribou Barbie will offer to be the new Torquemada.

[Arugula Latte]

9. Yeah, well, I'm not eatin' no more of their fancy pants rice!

From now on it's Freedom Rice for me!

[Xipe Totec]

15. Rice-A-Roni?

[Arugula Latte]

16. When Rice-A-Roni takes the word "Spanish" off its box and replaces it with "Freedom," I'll buy it.

[Maine-i-acs]

11. Tough-talkin' McCain promises to take them out, and those pesky Barbary Pirates too!!

[Xipe Totec]

14. On talk like a pirate day, matey!

Yar!

[vanderBeth]

12. I guess they were right.

No one suspects the Spanish Inquisition.

[cynatnite]

13. Damn you, John McCain! n/t