|
Answer: When 34% of those watching the debate mistook you for Walter Matthau...and even they knew Walter Matthau is dead.
I honesttly did think about doing a serious Posting on what truly is a very serious situation. However, when one candidates' entire game plan is to lie about the other candidate enough times while hoping that what you say might actually become true in the interim period...well, all I can say is, if the candidate can't take the debate seriously...why should I?
I know that I occasionally have a different take on things. And, yes...I agree that Obama could have hammered Wally more on the economy, spent way too much time responding to the earmark attack, and held his own on the foreign policy portion of the debate in ways in which Johnny "I've Been Everywhere And Know Everybody" probably never thought would be possible.
And, yes...I agree that Johnny "My Dead Dad Can Beat Up Your Dead Dad" looked even more childish than usual with his facial expressions, passive aggressive antics, and repeated abortions of all things true.
However, while there were any number of statements which might have caused virtually every post-debate poll to show that viewers identified Obama as the winner...not one commentator has zeroed in on the one single topic which sealed the fate of Johnny "Bronze Medal".
Okay, so it was something of a passing, and sort of abstract comment offered by Johnny Warhol. At first I thought I had dreamed it...that perhaps illegal aliens had traversed the Rio Grande and made their way through an open window in our humble abode and drugged me, sometime between McRepitionIsTheKeyToSuccess saying that Obama didn't understand the war, taxes or the economy...and when he said that Obama didn't understand basically the proper means by which to either tie shoes or strap on a clean "Depends".
However...my lovely wife heard it, too.
Not only did she also hear what Johnny "WHATDIDHEJUSTSAY," actually said...but, first we just looked at each other, then we broke out into stereo cackling...and finally we ran to separate bathrooms and missed at least the next ninety seconds of the proceedings.
In case you missed it...Johnny "ToHellWithThoseDamnedGooks," somehow felt the need to inject into the very first Presidential debate...in the middle of an answer to a question that I don't even remember at this point...the fact that "the average North Korean is three inches shorter than the average South Korean."
Better yet...while my lovely wife and I were still in mid-cackle...Johnny "IWasOBVIOUSLYBeatenWayTooMuchWhileAPrisoner"...went on to suggest that the reason why North Koreans are, on the average, three inches shorter than their South Korean counterparts...was "because the entire country of North Korea has got to be the biggest Gulag on the planet."
WHAT?
And...trust me, even I can't believe that it just keeps getting better...from the look of sheer amusement on his face, I honestly couldnt tell if he was in the middle of a PTSD Flashback...or if he was going to reach over and ask Obama to pull his finger.
Clearly, the comment got to Jim Lehrer, too. Only about four minutes of the nine alloted for each segment had actually been consumed on whatever the question was at that point. However, Lehrer immediately determined that it was time for a new topic...as the Director had to quick tell Camera Two to "get off of Obama," for fear that he would be caught cackling along with those of us playing the Home Version of the new hit Game Show, "He Said WHAT?"
PLEASE...if you didn't hear this comment...which could not possibly have been an appropriate answer to any question Jim Lehrer might contrive during the course of a debate occuring in 1964 in the open air of the Hate Ashbury Section of San Fransisco...go back and listen to it again. Listen to it over and over again...and PELASE, email Obama and BEG HIM to turn this textbook psychotic episode into some portion of each and every campaign ad which will produced over the course of the next five and a half weeks.
And here I thought that the "I will freeze govmint spending" comment was going to be the highlight of the evening.
And, all of this on the heels of Sarah Palin telling Katie Couric that trade missions to Russia and Vladmir Putin "FLYING OVER ALASKAN AIRSPACE" qualify her to be President?
Screw the long lines at the gas station this week, My Friends...we had all better get to the CVS Pharmacy and load up on those Depends before the Vice-Presidential Debate.
For those of us old enough to remember the movie 2001: A Space Odyssey...almost every Street Corner Pharmacist I have ever known swore that the wildest drug-induced moment tthat any of them ever enjoyed...was watching the last sixteen minutes of that film, while toasted to the BeJesus. Something tells me that the full ninety minutes of Joe Biden and Sarah "MyNeighborsAreAllCountries" will definitely be entitled to the same prescription.
Where is Montel Williams and that damned PPA Bus full of Halcion when you need it...for purely medicinal and therapeutic reasons...of course?
Has a candidate for President ever actually lost by 100% of the vote? Wow...this election really could produce history making results.
|