Top Ten Reasons McCain wouldn't look Obama in the eye during 1st Debate

[jmondine]

10. Throws out back when he cranes his neck that high
9. Is actually an alien who sees out of his ears
8. Has double vision and was focusing in on the wrong Obama
7. Afraid Obama's charisma will be so bright it'll blind him
6. Eyes are all irritated from the $5000 makeup job he just got
5. Turning his head that way cuts off the live feed in his ear with Karl Rove
4. Kept staring at Obama's flag pin and thinking, "Oh Shit, THAT's what I forgot"
3. Gets stirring feelings in strange places when he gazes into Obama's eyes
2. Pastor Muthee convinced him Obama is a warlock who can turn him into an iguana with his stare
1. Can't stop habitually looking around for Sarah Palin's ass

[gateley]

1. Bwah! Those are great! nt

[grannie4peace]

2. #9

[K Gardner]

3. Are these original?? They are good enough for Letterman ! Kudos !

[MoJoWorkin]

14. That what I thought---send to Letterman---these are probably better

than his writers will come up with.

[all.of.me]

19. There is a Top Ten Contest...

http://lateshow.cbs.com/latenight/lateshow/top_ten/contest/index/php/20080927.phtml

[FrenchieCat]

4. #6 & #7

[antigop]

5. as one who has family members who developed double vision, I do NOT find #8 funny n/t

[jmondine]

10. My apologies

I meant no offense. I have a handicapped son myself.
It would certainly garner more sympathy from me than the truth, that McCain is a petty, bitter, insecure man with no self control.

[Retrograde]

18. I have double vision and I do!

Not severe, only at certain ranges, and correctable, but I found #8 hilarious! (The actual object is usually between the two images: it has something to do with each eye focusing separately)

[liberal N proud]

6. Or as mentioned last week, he may have had a minor stroke

And can't turn his head that direction.

[lldu]

7. oops dup N/T

[lldu]

8. No wait, because for 5 1/2 years he had no one to debate with N/T

[Overseas]

12. Oh darn. You beat me to it. I was gonna say, for 5 years he didn't have anyone

he could look in the eye.

[Nitrogenica]

9. LOLS habitually looking for ass.

[Engineer4Obama]

11. #11 Obama has mutant Powers

He's Actually Cyclops of the Xmen

[Overseas]

13. What fun !! I love item #8. That must be it. Or the tunnel vision.

I actually had double vision for a while. It was scary but we figured it out and I'm better now.

[samsingh]

15. is mccain racist? is there any evidence?

[Odin2005]

17. He calls SE Asians "Gooks."

[bunkerbuster1]

21. to be fair, though, he did adopt a Bangladeshi...

I find it a little hard to square the notion that he's an irredeemable racist.

I do think McCain is still in a state of shock that a young black guy with an African name is whoopin' his ass, but then aren't we all, kinda?

[Raineyb]

22. This means nothing

It never ceases to amaze me how people will say "so and so isn't racist they've..." you fill in the blank as though racists have never compartmentalized things. What you've never heard someone you know is a racist say "oh so and so isn't really fill in the ethnic group."

Your standards of proof are really rather low.

Regards

[bunkerbuster1]

24. Well, thanks for the lecture.

I'm racist. Or perhaps a "recovering racist." Most people are racist to some degree.

I agree that the man's statement that he still "hated the gooks" is appalling. I was disgusted at how he treated Obama like dog shit. That said, I thought it was worth posting a single (1) mitigating factor worthy of consideration. I didn't say he wasn't a racist, I said he's not necessarily irredeemably so.

[samsingh]

23. that's pretty racist and disgusting in this day and age

[Odin2005]

16. #0, McLame feels intimidated by Obama

In another thread I saw a reference comparing McLame's body language to that of a low-ranking monkey intimidated by the troop leader! :rofl:

[bunkerbuster1]

20. Good stuff. K & R ing.

Can't think of a thing to add. Well, other than the obvious: "That uppity Negro has no place on this stage with me."

[blue-kite]

25. He's Losing?

[tavalon]

26. Good ones!

That's my hubby. He's a comedy writer as a hobby and I think he does it well.