Funny Palin jokes...

[Joanne98]

In a recent speech, Sarah Palin referred to Afghanistan as 'our neighboring country.' Yeah, yeah. Then she promised to find Osama bin Laden in the mountains of Toronto." --Conan O'Brien

"In Boca Raton, Florida, yesterday, a woman who looked like Sarah Palin caused a near riot when she walked into a diner for breakfast. And after a minute or two, people finally realized it wasn't her when she started answering questions." --Jay Leno

"Are you excited about Sarah Palin? Well, yesterday she referred to Afghanistan as our neighboring country. Apparently, she can see bin Laden's cave from her house." --David Letterman

"During the debate the other night, the moderator asked Sarah Palin to describe her Achilles heel, but instead of talking about her biggest weakness, she talked about her greatest strength, which apparently is not answering questions." --Jay Leno

"Of course, the most controversial thing Sarah Palin said last night was she felt the vice president should have more power. More power? Dick Cheney is shooting people in the face and doesn't even get arrested. You cannot get any more powerful than that." --Jay Leno

"During the debate, Palin winked, wrinkled her nose, and gave a shout-out to a third-grade class. Well, you know, that says commander-in-chief to me right there. You betcha!" --David Letterman

"She kept reaching out to Joe Sixpack. That's because her answers make more sense after six beers." --David Letterman

"Political experts are saying that to succeed in the vice presidential debate, Sarah Palin needs to show that she has the same concerns as everyday Americans. For instance, Palin planned to start the debate by sahing she's really troubled by John McCain's choice for vice president." –Conan O'Brien

"Sarah Palin right now is training for tomorrow night's vice presidential debate in Arizona. And she says it has really helped her on foreign policy, because from Arizona she can see Mexico." --David Letterman

"Palin's people said her strategy would be to stay upwind of Biden, flush him into an open area, and then take a go for a clean shot through the lungs. You don't want to mess up the head -- that's the trophy." --Jimmy Kimmel

"Meanwhile the big question that I don’t know if anyone has asked yet -- while Sarah Palin's yammering it up with Joe Biden in St. Louis, who's keeping an eye on the Russians? What happens if Putin decides to rear his head?" --Jimmy Kimmel

"Even though Governor Palin is not expected to do particularly well in tomorrow night's debate, she is favored heavily in Friday night's swimsuit competition." --Jimmy Kimmel

"Sarah Palin, she's getting ready for tomorrow's debate. I understand she now knows all three branches of government." --Jay Leno

"Have you been watching the Sarah Palin interview with Katie Couric on the 'CBS Evening News'? Pretty interesting. Sarah Palin could not remember the name of a newspaper or a magazine that she reads. And I was thinking, wow, we could possibly have a leader of the country who doesn't read. And then I thought, well, hell it's worked pretty good for George Bush." --David Letterman

"But don't kid yourself. This is for all the marbles, this debate tomorrow night. And Sarah Palin is nothing if not diligent. She's working hard on preparing for the debate with Joe Biden. Earlier today in Arizona we just heard that she shot a donkey." --David Letterman

"Political activists are now saying, if Sarah Palin does not do well tomorrow in the debate, she will voluntarily step down from the ticket by Friday. So far, there have been over 2 million emails and phone calls, urging her to stay. All from Tina Fey." --Jay Leno

"I don't know if Palin is ready. You know you're in trouble, debating like this, you know you're in trouble when your debate goal is to do as well as Dan Quayle did." --David Letterman

"We have the big vice presidential debate coming up on Thursday, and Sarah Palin is busy preparing. Right now, for example, she is practicing her caribou-caught-in-the-lights look." --David Letterman

"Actually, Sarah Palin is currently rehearsing for the debate, but insiders tell me it's not going that well because she keeps saying, 'I'd like to buy a vowel, Pat.'" --David Letterman

"The much-anticipated vice presidential debate takes place tomorrow night in St. Louis. Senator Joe Biden of Delaware faces off with Alaska Governor Sarah Palin. Teams of technicians have been working around the clock, trying to figure out how to run an Internet cable directly into the back of her skull to feed her the information." --Jimmy Kimmel

"Republicans are blaming Nancy Pelosi for the bailout not going through. Democrats are blaming it on an incomplete proposal by the Republicans. John McCain is blaming Barack Obama. Barack Obama is blaming John McCain. And Sarah Palin is praying nobody asks her what's going on." --Jay Leno

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