What kind of hapless idiot bases the end of his campaign on Joe the Plumber?

[JeffR]

What kind of irredeemable nincompoop tosses around laughably antiquated and demonstrably false accusations of socialism at his opponent in this day and age?

What kind of chowder-headed coot picks a miserable, sneering little fraud like Sarah Palin for his running mate and further maintains that she was thoroughly vetted, is fully qualified, has provided him with much counsel and was always his first choice?

What kind of gormless hypocrite claims again and again to be a maverick while feverishly giving oral service to the rabid maniacs that are his party's unthinking base?

What kind of shameless liar uses Ayers and Khalidi as sticks to swat Obama, when he himself has connections to both of them?

What kind of unregenerate vulgarian offers up the wife who bankrolls him as a contestant for Miss Buffalo Chip to a crowd of drunken bikers?

What kind of tone-deaf panderer claims with a straight face that he knows how to win wars, knows how to capture Bin Laden and knows how to fix the economy, yet steadfastly refuses to offer any specifics of how he would do these things?

What kind of mealymouthed nitwit can't appear on stage without his spouse standing two feet behind him at all times?

What kind of puerile knuckle-dragger centers his campaign around demonizing his opponent while claiming to respect him?

What kind of dishonorable pud allows his audiences to screech like meth-addled gibbons when the name "Obama" is mentioned?

What kind of drooling coward won't allow the sitting (though illegitimate) President and Vice President - members of his own party - to attend his convention?

What kind of skulking weasel cheats at the Saddleback forum?

What kind of shambling incompetent devotes so little effort to organizing on the ground that he ends up lamely defending states that Democrats haven't won in over four decades?

What kind of clueless clown either doesn't know how many houses and cars he and his wife have, or simply refuses to give straight answers about them?

What kind of undignified slob punctuates every utterance out of his yellow rictus with the words "My friends" while constantly framing his rote codewords with stubby-fingered air quotes?

What kind of hopeless buffoon allows his campaign to claim his war injuries make him unable to use a computer, mere days after he himself claimed that he was learning to get online?

What kind of forked-tongued fatcat makes po-faced claims to represent change from the corruption and cronyism he has spent a lifetime helping to advance?

What kind of self-loathing freak hires the very people who did an obscene hatchet-job on his wife and family eight years ago?

What kind of smug tool pretends to suspend his campaign to address an economic crisis, rushes to Washington only to sit silently while his peers, including his opponent, do the actual work, and then tries to use the whole episode to dodge a debate with his opponent?

What kind of craven toadstool tries to justify his abysmally nasty campaign by citing his opponent's unwillingness to engage in a series of phony townhalls?

What kind of insufferable shitheel uses his own horrific experiences as a prisoner of war like a parlor trick, over and over and over, when he supposedly doesn't like talking about these experiences?

What kind of nauseating huckster can't even win the endorsement of once-reliable conservatives like Colin Powell, Michael Smerconish, Scott McClellan and Andrew Sullivan?

His name is John Sidney McCain, and on the evening of November 4th, 2008, he can add "failed Presidential candidate" to his curriculum vitae.

[Demeter]

1. God's Gift to Democrats

[SuperTrouper]

2. His name is John Sidney McCain, and on the evening of November 4th, 2008,

he can add "failed Presidential candidate" to his curriculum vitae.
:rofl:

[file83]

76. "failed Presidential candidate" - TWICE

Fail (2000), and Fail (2008).

[RUMMYisFROSTED]

82. Correction: John Sidney McCain III

Elitist.

[rebel with a cause]

110. Johnny Sidney Mccain.

Another 666 possible for a name if you just cheat a little with the first name. Ronald Wilson Reagan = 666 Geoge Walker BushJr = 666 :sarcasm: :rofl:

[kayakjohnny]

3. I think you've covered it and I admire your colorful verbage and creative use of nounage.

Thanks.

[Ozma]

4. UM what kind of idiot? Let me guess... could it be

McCranky and Failin?

[NanceGreggs]

5. Well, I think you've pretty well covered it ...

:kick: & REC'D!!!

[Faygo Kid]

6. Love it! You forgot meat-headed cretin.

An oversight, but other than that, you nailed it.

John McCain had a choice to make after 2000. And he became a W. butt licker, and now an unrepentant hater who followed Sean Hannity's campaign advice.

It didn't have to be that way. But he goes down in history as an ugly failure. That's by our side. Wait till Rush, Hannity, etc. dissect him. Most hated man in America on Nov. 5. You lie down with dogs, John, you get up with fleas. Or worse.

[Kukesa]

7. Nice. nt

[Ichingcarpenter]

8. Well, I was gonna say John the idiot but you have seemed to have covered

everything except the POW thing....

LOL

[trof]

9. K&R. A truly magnificent piece of invective. Masterful.

I can tell you put in considerable time and effort on this.
I am in awe.
I salute you.
:thumbsup:

[graywarrior]

10. An idiot who figures he best aim his campaign at his 8th grade level supporters

[unpossibles]

123. well, I suppose we can't totally blame him for playing to the base

Although 8th grade may be a bit too educated.

[Fly by night]

11. K & R'ed (and soon to be emailed to all my friends)

Damn, that was good.

[Sebastian Doyle]

12. What kind of idiot?

The kind of idiot that would take advice from Pastor John "Fat Bastard" Hagee, perhaps?

[Joe Chi Minh]

22. "Hapless" is a cracking word to cover such a riot of lunacy.

[JimboBillyBubbaBob]

81. Hagee the Bass Turd and John the Jester

They look like bad wax museum examples!!!

[AllyCat]

102. Dang, does Hagee have liver failure or something?

He looks jaundiced

[JBoy]

13. I liked that!

[MJkcj]

14. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

I love how i can log onto DU and no matter how bad i may be feeling someone has posted something that is seriously funny and makes me laugh

[samsingh]

15. wacko conservatives and repugs

[Joe Chi Minh]

16. Bart Simpson.

[rexy]

17. The kind of person with absolutely nothing to lose because

the game is OVER.

[madamesilverspurs]

18. On November 4th McCain will be revealed

to be like his responses: a non sequitur.

[PA Democrat]

19. The same type that based the beginning of his campaign on Sarah the stupid

[The Wielding Truth]

20. McC has not risen to the top because of his wisdom,leadership,

quick thinking,impeccable judgment or kindness of spirit. He kissed the Rove machine ring and appealed to the lowest fears, highest blind patriotism,and all the gimmicks in the Republican bag of tricks.
Barack Obama has risen to the top on his merit as a leader. In every respect, in every crisis, and every small decision, he has used his good judgment and respect for his fellow American to constantly climb to earn the admiration of his Country . We the people and, thank God the majority, will elect a man, while not perfect,who will work for all of us even those who will not see him as he is. He has the same vision as our founders to establish again a more perfect union.

Hooray, for an OBAMA VICTORY!!!!!!

[Gregorian]

21. OMG GORMLESS!

I'm not an elite after all. I had to use a dictionary. No wait, now I AM an elite. I used a dictionary.

[Nostradammit]

60. Yes!

Reading "gormless hypocrite" made my night.



Welcome to elitism, Gregorian.

[calimary]

73. Love it!!!

Dang, this is a GREAT one!

[rug]

23. The same kind that supported George the president.

[EFerrari]

24. It's baffling. Wasn't this one of the more "solid" Republican Senators

that didn't look to be selling out to the shadow puppetry of the extreme "Christian" right wingnuttery?

If this is a Republican "maverick", the whole party establishment needs to be scraped off of its national shoes.

[Window]

25. A REALLY idiotic idiot??

[bigtree]

26. most excellent, Jeff

proud to recommend :kick:

[ladym55]

27. OOH, OOH, I KNOW! I KNOW!!

An idiot that is SO big that he seems to be even stupider and more mean-spirited than the current occupant ... and man, THAT takes some doing!!!!

[brer cat]

28. a

L-O-S-E-R

GOBAMA!

[Kurovski]

29. Nice use of the language.

Very nice indeed, my friend.

R

[DeeDeeNY]

63. I agree

I had to look up the word "gormless".

[AzDar]

30. Thanks for that, JeffR. Made me chortle...

:hi:

[mascarax]

31. McCain called JTP* his "hero" at a rally!

It's asinine.


*or "Joe the Alleged Plumber" as Bill Press calls him...or Joe the Tax Evader or Joe the Idiot...

[AuntPatsy]

33. I am just dumbfounded with how diotic they are all, joe the plumber a hero now?

Can they be any more pathetic? Well I just "betcha" they can....

[DeeDeeNY]

64. I think the actual quote from McLame was that JTP is an "American hero"

AND his "role model"!!!!
Pretty scary stuff.

[mascarax]

66. Thanks for correcting: JTP is McLame's "Role Model"

...along with being an "American hero".

I was sputtering when we watched it, "What?! HOW is this tax evader an 'American hero'? And what kind of imbecile calls JTP a role model? For what?!"

Then we laughed because McCain just does not get it.

[Raine]

32. You said it all

I can't add to that...

[Phx_Dem]

34. Umm, John McCain?

[The Blue Flower]

35. What kind?

I don't know--how many kinds are there?

YOU NAILED IT. GREAT JOB!!!!

[AtomicKitten]

36. McCain circa 2000 might have had a chance in 2008.

[OKNancy]

37. Wonderful and fun post! Congrats to you

Love your insults... perfect and not vulgar!

[Dystopian]

38. KandR

Apt descriptions! Excellent...love it!


peace~

[crossroads]

39. Excellent post! k&r

[Coexist]

40. John Sidney McCain III, thank you.

[JeffR]

41. Well, I didn't want to make the gibbering little hosepail sound like

some sort of elitist or anything.
;)

[MarthaMyDear]

42. "CRAVEN TOADSTOOL" Hahahaha! Nice!

[SeeHopeWin]

43. This, by far, is the weirdest thing I have ever seen in politics!

I still can't believe it even when I see it live!

[otohara]

92. Alternate Universe

That's my guess - we live in our reality based universe, those on the right are off in some far away land that I just can't relate to or understand. I'm gonna do my best to unite and work for the good of the country like Obama says, but I think there are those who just won't listen or accept this amazing man. Even if he proves to be one of the most awesome president's ever.

04 was disgusting to watch also, but the absolute worst was the recount of 2000.

[HCE SuiGeneris]

44. Are these rhetorical?

:evilgrin:

K & R

[CLANG]

45. Totally Awesome!

:toast: :bounce: :beer: :nuke: :headbang: :yourock: :applause: :patriot:

[Jennicut]

46. I never new McInsane was such a crappy campaigner

Who knew? Good for us though.

[Cali_Democrat]

47. That was excellent

:thumbsup:

[Robeson]

48. In the words of Gore Vidal...

..."McCain is the village idiot. He is very, very stupid, even by American standards."

[chollybocker]

49. If you set that piece to music, Bob Dylan might record it.

Nice.

[mtnsnake]

50. I'll tell you exactly who would do such things...

a beady-eyed inbred mutant freak with the brain of a fucking loon!

Awesome rant, JeffR!

:thumbsup: :thumbsup:

[Hand]

51. OUTSTANDING!

Couldn't have put it better myself! "Gormless hypocrite..." I LOVE IT! :applause: :yourock:

[Swagman]

52. the same kind who allows a male hustler to pose as a reporter in the White House

[jhain]

53. gormless and chowderhead

JeffR????

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!

[bridgit]

54. What kind? This kind...

[Doodler71]

55. The same dude that calls that tax skipping "plumber" his hero

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

56. probably these people

[ROh70]

57. what kind of idiot calls his opponent a socialist and a centrist?

what kind of idiot blames his opponent for his own negative campaigning? You know, McCain had to call Obama a terrorist palling around-er because Obama refused to do the joint townhall meetings.

What kind of idiot runs ads comparing a Harvard Law Review president, civil rights lawyer and constitutional law professor to Paris Hilton and Brittney Spears?

What kind of idiot plays politics with his opponent's decision to not visit troops out of respect for military rules?

What kind of idiot uses his wife as an attack dog against his opponent?

What kind of idiot lies to David Letterman about the reason why he was canceling his appearance on his show?

And there are much, much, more.

[CitizenLeft]

58. "gormless" - Damn!

GREAT rant! :applause:

[anitar1]

59. Your post makes me feel much better. I think you said it all.

Thanks for the laughs.

[K Gardner]

61. I am SO in love with this post I can't breathe !! K&R

[wroberts189]

62. Someone who knows they already lost ? n/t

[DeeDeeNY]

65. Not to mention, what kind of people attend his rallies and think he's great

These closed-minded, self-delusional nut jobs scare me more than anything.

[glitch]

69. I have some relatives who love him, just like they love Bush. They aren't bad people but

they are brainwashed. They watch Fox, they listen to Rush. They think everyone else is crazy. They are members of a cult. I no longer expect them to snap out of it any time soon.

[DeeDeeNY]

75. They may not be bad people, but if they're brainwashed sufficiently,

they can end up doing things that are very bad. A mind is a terrible thing to keep closed. I'm just sayin'.
:hi:

[glitch]

95. I know, and it makes me incredibly sad. nt

[Amonester]

67. Kick & recommend!

And (mass-)email!
:thumbsup: :kick:

[Festivito]

68. Joe the plumber? Oh! You mean Sam the scab. .. nice rant. /nt

[TankLV]

70. Joe The Chair!

or is it Joe The Little Figurine?

[GalleryGod]

71. Jerry Ford,1976. Went with Today Show funnyman, Joe Garagiola, for the last 7 days.

It was the Jerry & Joe Show.:wtf:


FWIW: Joe's career path was never the same again. Folks remembered.:nopity:

[nomaco-10]

72. My name is Nomaco-10 and I approve this post. OUTSTANDING n/t

[doc03]

74. A Maverick n/t

[Indenturedebtor]

77. His name is John, but you can call him FailMan

nenenenenenenene Fail Man... nenenenenenenenene Fail Man! etc.

Great post,K+R

[Jade Fox]

78. Do you suppose we may have finally seen the last of Rove....

with this disastrous McCain campaign?

The way every one of the McCain campaign's smear attempts have backfired gives me hope for this country.

[The River]

79. Excellent Rant!

5 Star Rating.

Yes, he is all of those things and more but if you
simply substituted the word "candidate" in place of
the laugh out loud and accurately vulgar descriptive
adjectives your rant would be fit to print on any editorial
page in the Country as respectful questions of real concern.

[eppur_se_muova]

80. Error: You've already recommended that thread. *SIGH*

I'll just have to email it around to get more eyeballs. :P

[motocicleta]

83. He's the kind of nitwit that close to 50% of our country loves.

And he may become our next president. That is what blows me away - this mouthbreathing, spineless flipflopper gets enough support to come close to actually winning this thing. Close enough that the electronic voting machines may be used to steal yet another election. That's how fucking stupid our electorate is.

And no matter who wins, that stupidity will not get better. We've been building ignorant, arrogant, sheep-like consumers for decades, through the use of bad nutrition, bad education and TV, and we're on track to keep that loser project right up. Nice work, former most powerful, wonderful, imaginative, beneficent nation on earth.

[earth mom]

84. I have a friend who calls herself republican though she's really more of an independent

and she thinks the Joe the plumber thing is ridiculous. Especially because plumbers make a damn good living and should have no complaints.

I have a feeling my friend is voting Obama.

[Liberal_in_LA]

85. kick

[PCIntern]

86. Terrific! Sent it to everyone I know, particularly the RWers...

On edit: K & R

[GreenEyedLefty]

87. Chowder-headed coot. Love it.

I can't wait to use some of these IRL. Whee!

[Cha]

88. Well described, Jeff!

A desperate, empty shell of a rabid, cornered rat.

[luv_mykatz]

89. DUZY!

I can't believe I am the first one to suggest this. Yes, for you, JeffR. :) The ENTIRE post should receive a DUZY. :yourock: :toast: :woohoo: :kick:

I don't know if I have enough posts to be able to recommend, but I hope someone will!!! Yeah! Love it!

[Old Codger]

90. AMEN n/t

:dem: :rofl:

[Turbineguy]

91. What kind of adroit, erudite

wordsmith writes this stuff?

Give yourself one of your DUzy's!

[PatSeg]

93. K&R

Summed up beautifully!

[life long demo]

94. BRAVO, BRAVO

Each point fabulous, yet each exceeded the previous. Each paragraph could stand on its own and still be sheer excellence.

[leecanes]

96. Abso-smootly on point

The fact that the McCain supporters can't see through all of this really scares me. The anti-intellectual road our country has taken is embarrassing and disconcerting. Don't these people THINK?

[Kurovski]

97. So nice, I read it twice.

This time, it actually made me kind of horny.

[Kali]

116. ...

:spray: :rofl:

[Rosa Luxemburg]

98. how many campaigns has he failed in and how many planes has he wrecked!

[Kablooie]

99. Where the hell did you get all those descriptives? I want that reference!

[TomInTib]

100. Bang! I hope you don't mind if I send this to a couple of hundred friends.

If you do, too bad, as it is already a done deal.

I haven't had so much fun reading something in a long time.

Tom

[Redstone]

104. That is a fucking INSPIRED post, isn't it? He speaks the language of invective ten times

better than I do, and I thought I was good at that.

Redstone

[TomInTib]

108. I printed it so I could put it in a couple of guitar cases.

I'll take it out, read it when my mind feels numb (which seems to happen with alarming frequency, of late).

[BleedingHeartRN]

101. Brilliant!

K&R!!!:kick:

[Dem2theMax]

103. If you weren't already married....

Then again, every time I read Nance's postings, I want to ask HER to marry me.

Can I marry both of you? ;)



Once again, JeffR, a fantastic post! :yourock:

[onager]

105. Why do GOP canvassers work in pairs?

One must be able to read and write. The other goes along to keep an eye on the dangerous elitist intellectual.

(Recycled Russian joke about the KGB...)

[sasquatch]

106. The same guy that tapped a brainless ditz to be his running mate

[polichick]

107. An anti-intellectual, anti-patriotic, anti-humanity, anti-planet sociopath.

[pleah]

109. The McClueless kind.

;)

[npincus]

111. Worst.Campaign. Ever.

to follow the Worst President Ever. OUT WITH REPUBLICAN RULE.

[JDwho]

112. If only I could express myself like this! Wow! K&R

Ditto on every single word.

[MyOwnPeace]

113. Impressive list...........

Not in earning it, but that someone would keep tabs on such a fecktard and keep everyone aware of the "accomplishments!"
Good work - and let's be careful out there!

[stlsaxman]

114. JeffR- you're a literary genius!!!!

irredeemable nincompoop
chowder-headed coot
gormless hypocrite
shameless liar
unregenerate vulgarian
tone-deaf panderer
mealymouthed nitwit
puerile knuckle-dragger
dishonorable pud
drooling coward
skulking weasel
shambling incompetent
clueless clown
undignified slob
hopeless buffoon
forked-tongued fatcat
self-loathing freak
smug tool
craven toadstool
insufferable shitheel
and nauseating huckster...

His name is John Sidney McCain!

[KitchenWitch]

115. You forgot bottom feeding gutter snipe!

:hi:

[thoughtcrime1984]

117. B-E-A

u-tiful! Well done!

[Kali]

118. too late to rec, but my compliments!

:toast:

[grahamhgreen]

119. Who?

[beac]

120. 'Meth-Addled Gibbons' should be the name of the band Sarah will have to start to support her family

once she loses the election and is recalled from her governorship. She can play her magic flute and the First Dood will play the world's first-ever showmachineaphone.

I predict great demand for Meth-Addled Gibbons at Red State Fairs across the land. And, of course, they'll play for free at Johnny Mac's super-mavericky retirement party in 2010, you betcha!

[WhichTruth]

121. Joe the Plumber--a fine symbol for McCain to finish on.

When I first read your title, it flashed that Nixon had a problem with "Plumbers".

It also reminds us that things are stopped up in this country, and we need to "Flush" Washington D.C., so push the lever on November 4th to flush the "Republicans" out of power.

[Plucketeer]

122. John McCain - I nominate him

to be the next inductee to the Dunce's Hall of Fame

[Kurovski]

124. Kick. (nt)