Barack Obama completes his great Quest

[JTG of the PRB]

I was inspired driving home from work this afternoon. With apologies to J.R.R. Tolkien...



The fires below awoke in anger, the red light blazed, and all the cavern was filled with a great glare and heat. Suddenly America saw John McCain’s long hands draw upwards to his mouth; his white fangs gleamed, and snapped as they bit. Barack Obama gave a cry, and there he was, fallen upon his knees at the chasm’s edge. But John McCain, dancing like a mad thing, held aloft the Ring, a finger still thrust within its circle. It shone now as if verily it was wrought of living fire.

“Precious, precious, precious!” John McCain cried. “My Precious! O my Precious!” And with that, even as his eyes were lifted up to gloat on his prize, he stepped too far, toppled, wavered for a moment on the brink, and then with a shriek he fell. Out of the depths came his last wail Precious, and he was gone.

There was a roar and a great confusion of noise. Fires leaped up and licked the roof. The throbbing grew to a great tumult, and the Mountain shook. America ran to Barack Obama and picked him up and carried him out to the door. And there upon the dark threshold of the Sammath Naur, high above the plains of Mordor, such wonder and terror came on America that it stood still forgetting all else, and gazed as one turned to stone.
A brief vision America had of swirling cloud, and in the midst of it towers and battlements, tall as hills, founded upon a might mountain-throne above immeasurable pits; great courts and dungeons, eyeless prisons sheer as cliffs, and gaping gates of steel and adamant: and then all passed. Towers fell and mountains slid; walls crumbled and melted, crashing down; vast spires of smoke and spouting steams went billowing up, up, until they toppled like an overwhelming wave, and its wild crest curled and came foaming down upon the land. And then at last over the miles between there came a rumble, rising to a deafening crash and roar; the earth shook, the plain heaved and cracked, and Orodruin reeled. Fire belched from its riven summit. The skies burst into thunder seared with lightning. Down like lashing whips fell a torrent of black rain. And into the heart of the storm, with a cry that pierced all other sounds, tearing the clouds asunder, the Republicans came, shooting like flaming bolts, as caught in the fiery ruin of hill and sky they crackled, withered, and went out.

‘Well, this is the end, America,’ said a voice by its side. And there was Barack Obama, pale and worn, and yet himself again; and in his eyes there was peace now, neither strain of will, nor madness, nor any fear. His burden was taken away. There was the dear leader of the sweet days in the Senate.

“Mister Obama!” cried America, and fell upon its knees. In all that ruin of the GOP for the moment America felt only joy, great joy. The burden was gone. Its leader had been saved; he was himself again, he was free. And then America caught sight of the maimed and bleeding hand.
‘Your poor hand!’ America said. ‘And I have nothing to bind it with, or comfort it. I would have spared him a whole hand of mine rather. But he’s gone now beyond recall, gone for ever.’

‘Yes,’ said Barack Obama. ‘But do you remember Howard Dean’s words: Even John McCain may have something yet to do? But for him, America, I could not have destroyed the Ring. The Quest would have been in vain, even at the bitter end. So let us forgive him! For the Quest is achieved, and now all is over. I am glad you are here with me. Here at the end of all things, America.’



We did it, you guys. We did it. :)

[JTG of the PRB]

1. Self-indulgent kick.

Transcribing Tolkien isn't easy, you know! :hide: