Well, the freepers were right!

[volstork]

The Obama gun trucks came by today and took all my water pistols and nail guns. Then they turned me gay and forced me to have an abortion (and I'm not even pregnant).

[EastTennesseeDem]

1. Did they convert you to Islam too?

[Danger Mouse]

2. They filled my house with Mexicans who stole my job and forced me to learn Spanish.

It was horrible. :cry:

[Richard Steele]

30. Mi casa tambien! Y a hora, no puedo entenderme! nm

[The Backlash Cometh]

49. Que?

[RedCloud]

99. Largo camino tienes que recorrer.

Vamos. Nos dicen que los extraterrestres vienen para servirnos en el planeta suyo.

[SoCalDem]

84. but, hey... I bet your lawn looks terriffic

:rofl:

[CatWoman]

94. HA!!!

:rofl:

[gmoney]

3. Did they redistribute your wealth?

Or give you someone else's wealth?

[jobycom]

10. They sent all mine to Kenya and forced me to pledge allegiance to their flag.

[Warren Stupidity]

17. Its ok there flag isnt' under GOD onely owrs.

[jobycom]

4. My new circumcision is hurting, but the Qur'an really is beautiful.

[codjh9]

50. HAH!!!!! Thanks for the laugh.

[deadparrot]

5. Which bus are you taking to the re-education camp?

Bastards suck me with the 5AM slot. :banghead:

[SoCalDem]

85. um.... about that "t"

:rofl:

you might be late for the bus..or miss it entirely:)

[cliffordu]

6. You must be sore!!! Here: have some marijuana and some free money.

[OneGrassRoot]

57. LOL! I so love these threads....lolol n/t

[orwell]

7. They made me a muslin...

...and I always wanted to be a spandex...

[davepc]

8. They bussed in terrorists to blow up peoples houses here.

Oh the hughmannity!

[johnnie]

9. I know what ya mean

My taxes just went up to 130% of my pay.

[Warren Stupidity]

11. They drove the UN trucks down our street spraying The Gay everywhere.

All of us are queer now. Even our dogs. Too bad we can't get married anymore. I love my penguin, but it is a slippery slope.

[illuminaughty]

41. Mofo! LOL

UR Keelin me.:rofl:

[Ikonoklast]

77. You were one of the lucky ones.

They forced Rick Santorum to divorce, and now they're moving his things into MY place.

I hope that rat-faced bastard can cook.

[liberal N proud]

12. Did they take half of your money and give it to people with less?

[edbermac]

13. And you're still alive??

I'd stay out of the shower room if I were you. :sarcasm:

[volstork]

15. The Cheeto dust on my t-shirt protected me

[Lex]

14. They forced me to buy an electric car and give all my money to poor people.

[crossroads]

16. They forced me to watch porn on tv too!

I feel so dirty now!
:evilgrin:
CR

[Richardo]

18. Didn't your house burn down in the riots?

[Erin Elizabeth]

19. For some reason, they sent me a gay baby.

It's really weird.

[Sebastian Doyle]

73. Paperwork error

They were supposed to abort it and then offer it as a blood sacrifice to Satan :evilgrin:

[EastTennesseeDem]

20. Dude, we are all extremely stoned

But we don't have to worry about getting up off our asses; we'll be getting free money over here anyway.

[Hans Delbrook]

21. They took my bible, arrested my pastor, gave all my money to

Obama's illegal aunt, and anointed me a muslim w/ the blood of 100 "unborn babies." Oh yeah and sent some guy over to fuck my husband in the ass.

[bridgit]

22. Wha'daya kid'n!? They made me buy a turntable with a scratchy stylus and start listening...

to Smokey Robinson on VINYL!! So...I guess it could be worse

[sampsonblk]

23. They gave me abortion ration cards

So the next two times I get preggo, I'm required to go down the the local brownshirt office and get my card punched and go in and get my abortion.

[Warren Stupidity]

26. just coincidently I got my first box of canned foetus rations

its better than government cheese

[Danger Mouse]

31. It's better than spaghetti sauce, and cheaper, too!

[Jackpine Radical]

24. How delightful! It's so good to know that all the things they told us

in the secret rallies were not just idle promises. The Black Muslim Socialist Immigrant Revolution is coming at last. All Hail Hussein!

[blondeatlast]

25. I got my check from the forcible redistribution of K Street wealth about 4:30 PM AZ time.

I bought a Prius and sent the rest to a commune in Quebec.

[Barack_America]

27. Yeah, well, Putin came into the airspace and is now sitting on my couch drinking all my beer.

I fucking knew this would happen if Obama got elected!

I think there may be a sleeper cell in my cupboard now too!

:grr:

[jobycom]

37. All your beer are belong to us!

That's Marxism, comrade.

[illuminaughty]

43. Yeah, well, they got ME sleepin' in the cupboard

and Al Qua eda (yes, dammit, all of them) are on my couch with Bill Ayers buyin' shit off QVC with all my new welfare money. :wow:

[TheKentuckian]

28. Well, this morning they started sex ed in the nurseries then in the afternoon

we began are gay Muslim studies courses, after our dinner of bean pies and pigs feet we blew up some churches.

Around midnight we're doing coke through the confiscated guns, reading a few sections of the Communist Manifesto, and of course the orgy. I'm not sure if tonight is gay or free for all but I know we'll find a way to squeeze out some abortions in any event. The Great Chairman, even has plans to fertilize the women and even some of the males even from gay relations, just so we can abort the fetuses.

[Gore1FL]

29. The fucking came

and tie-died all my clothes, gave weed to my kid, and replaced my carpeting with wall to wall prayer rugs.

[mzmolly]

32. Heh.

:hi: K and R

[Hissyspit]

33. Bill Ayers blew up my kitchen and ate all my Cheetos.

[SoCalDem]

88. Sarah stopped by, looked in my closet.. said my wardrobe was shit..but

she still took all my clothes..

[WritingIsMyReligion]

90. Did she at least give you 150k for them all?

Or are you not Neiman Marcus?

:D

[SoCalDem]

92. no money changed hands.. & she even took my flip-flops .. n/t

[grantcart]

34. well the freepers have to admire that efficiency - wait there is a knock on the door

oh shit

[LynnTheDem]

35. Take a child pill, dude! And how's the Muslin situation?

That's the big one.

[grace0418]

53. So far they've only converted me to linen, but I'm sure muslin is next.

What is this world coming to?

[Vektor]

70. They forced me to "Worship Satin", but I'm more of a cotton blend type of gal.

[volstork]

76. LOL!

:rofl: :rofl:

[mindwalker_i]

36. They took my Jesus away

and gave him therapy. Then they made him work off the cost at the hope station which took 10 times as long as it should due to the tax increase.

[Number23]

38. The "Obama Army" of paramilitary troopers will be by shortly

Better start rounding up folks for them thar' re-education camps sooner rather than later.....

[illuminaughty]

39. As they ripped my guns out of my warm live hands

the roving band of hippie muslins made my front porch into a mosque and forced me to car bomb it while snorting coke off a hooker's ass. They made my Bible gay, unbaptized me and burned a 666 on the back of my cat's head.

Just like McDonald's ...I'm Lovin' It!

[dgauss]

40. I just found a block of government issue cheese in my refrigerator

I think Obama put it there.

[jerry92]

42. lol

Yesterday was like a cemetery in Freeperland.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

44. They gave me a book and made me read it

"The Sayings of Malcolm X"

[Feron]

45. They'll have to pry my hot glue gun...

from my glued together hands!!!

[KathieG]

46. All I can get on TV is Al Jazeera, BET and porn.

:shrug:

[Phillycat]

58. HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

[Vektor]

68. OMG. BEST.

:rofl:

[barack the house]

47. They made me sign on to commie socialism too. :o

[barack the house]

48. They've confiscated all my flag pins. :o

[seabeyond]

51. they took all my money to give to those sittin on their ass all day. oh wait,that is me. lol

and made me sing kumbyah..... (sp)

[grace0418]

52. I checked this morning and had NO MONEY in my bank account or 401K!!!!

Oh wait, I didn't before either.

[yardwork]

61. Psst. The Republicans did that last month.

[grace0418]

63. Nah, I didn't have anything for them to take.

:)

[janet118]

54. They are marching down my street chanting "Yes, we did!!"

And my kids just ran out the back door to join them.

"Come back hear, you ingreats!!! No super or deserts for you!!"

[kath]

55. This thread deserves a DUzy!!

[azmouse]

56. I guess I had it easy... I was force fed arugula and lattes.

But I have this feeling they'll force me to burn a flag some time soon.

[LSK]

59. when does he order Bill Ayers to bomb our houses???

:shrug:

[yardwork]

60. Obama's goons came by and cancelled the Rapture!

and they taught my kids to goose step while singing pro-Obama songs!!!

[Spike89]

62. They fixed my roof...no more trickle down

[TornadoTN]

64. They started constructing a Mosque in my town

The gun trucks haven't made it my way yet but the Muslim conversion has begun. They are changing the flags and exchanging Bibles for the Qu'rans today, voluntarily - for now.

[kath]

82. I hear possession of a Qu'ran will be mandatory by this time next week.

The gun trucks were on the next street over today - I'm expecting them to be here at my house in the morning.

[JaneQPublic]

110. There'll be a Gideon's Qu'ran in every hotel room. (nt)

[Danascot]

65. They gave me a yard guy

name of Tom Delay ... f*n useless!

[windbreeze]

66. What are you bitching about...they coulda given you a plumber instead...n/t

[Vektor]

67. They declared 2 Live Crew's Luther Campbell Sec. of State + smeared lipstick all over my pit bull.

[Curtland1015]

69. Not only did they make me gay, they made my gay neighbor DOUBLE gay.

Then, when I was busy being gay, they took half my money, then sent me a check for half my money because I was poor after they took it!

I tell ya.

[MelanieArt]

71. My kindergartener came home today with his new textbooks: The Kama Sutra and The Joy Of Sex.

As well as a box full of porn. Tomorow Ron Jeremy will be leading circle time and passing out condoms after snack time.

[blondeatlast]

83. Welcome to U (relative) newbie! I love you already! (they made me say that!) nt

And they apparently disabled my "d" key as well.

[blondeatlast]

96. And they taught him how to read Sanskrit, right? nt

[K Gardner]

72. Oh hell, absolute CLASSIC ! I'd rec if I could (past 24 hrs)

[TXDemGal]

74. Is THAT all?!

Hell, they made my preschooler swear allegiance to Future Lesbians of America and as a group bonding experience, the girls took turns giving each other crewcuts! :sarcasm:

[TheKentuckian]

75. Comrades! Ha ha!!! It turns out the rich white people are great domestic servents

They are eager to get a little of their redistributed wealth back. They are already like hamsters on a wheel comrades!!! It is great fun to watch them grovel for their former coin as we pleasure their women.

[Boudica the Lyoness]

78. I have been assigned the job

of going into town today to take all the local freeper's guns away. If they don't hand them over I'll shoot them with my own gun.

[yeswecanandwedid]

79. No big deal. At least they didn't turn you into a socialist. nt

[workinclasszero]

80. How long before President Obama sets up the freeper re-education camps?

I'm tired of listening to their paranoid rantings. :)

[frickaline]

81. I'm still waiting for my soap ration.

[mokawanis]

86. Funniest thread of the day!

The op and replies are hilarious. You guys crack me up.

[lady raven]

87. They were just here!

They took ALL the guns- EVEN THE WATER PISTOLS and staple guns, just like you said! They left a copy of the "Obama Manifesto" and took all our bibles!

[WritingIsMyReligion]

89. Obama impregnated me from afar to carry his son.

Oh, no, wait--that was Mary.

Damn, I'm stumped.

[npk]

91. Boy you had a tough day.

K&R.

[JohnMcCant2008]

93. A busload of gay, Muslim babies JUST raised my taxes. Right here in front of my family.....

and they're already constructing 3 abortion clinics across from my house.

woe. agony.

[Norrin Radd]

95. They erected a statue of Lenin in my neighborhood of Fremont, in Seattle:

Oh, wait, that was already there!

[Window]

97. The comedic value of DU should be marketed. Y'all are killing me.

[Super62]

98. I saw a wolf....

Flying a helicopter, shooting at baby Jesus as he sought refuge in a Nuclear Power plant. The wolf was also gay.

[road2000]

100. Rev. Wright said Mass at my church.

[Motown_Johnny]

101. did they clone you and redistribute your wealth?

[OnyxCollie]

102. They forced me to take the bar exam at Sharia law school. (I passed.) nt

[Jeanette in FL]

103. They took my 401k

What little was left and divided it up amongst my neighbors.

My neighbors are partying hearty now.

[BrklynLiberal]

104. This thread is hysterical!!!!

[marco86]

105. Help- Legal question

When I convey my house to the government since they are takin away our right to own anything, should it be a quitclaim or a warranty deed

[Curtland1015]

107. Relax comrade, you don't have to do anything! An Obama goon squad member will come by...

...and beat you around the head and neck for about twenty minutes and bingo. Your house is now theirs!

PS: It doesn't matter if you want to give it to them or not, the beating is mandatory.

[gauguin57]

106. You people are so effing hilarious ... this thread is the BEST!

:rofl:

As for me ... the horrible thing Obama did to me was force me to be concerned for the least of my brethren. Can you imagine?

[black light poster]

108. Wow, what a difference a day makes!

I woke up Wednesday and my Bible was missing and a book with funny squiggly writing was in its place. Lewd men then came around that afternoon and asked if I had any kindergarteners to teach all about sex (unfortunately for them, I do not). And the troops are de-funded! Ah well, bring 'em on home -- I figure we'll probably need them back here for the coming Class Warfare anyway.

First thing Thursday morning Mahmoud Ahma-what's-his-name -- the Members Only guy -- pounded on my door demanding to talk without preconditions. What could I do? I had to let him in. It went okay, though. He just wanted to kick around some ideas for an international crisis to cook up to test our young inexperienced president, and he's feeling the time pressure because he only has six months.

I had a doctor's appointment for Thursday afternoon, but it got cancelled; the night before my G.P. was hustled off to Socialized Medicine Re-Education Camp.

Friday was a better day. Most of my neighbors were richer than me before last week, but Friday the Redistribution Police came around and gave me a fat envelope of cash from each of them, so now we're all equal. I felt just like Tony Soprano!

And I can use the money, because the Weathermen and Muslim terrorists who showed up are great guys and all, but seem a bit underfunded. Now, though, we have my neighbors' former money to pal around with! Yesterday they launched a couple of closet terrorist Senate campaigns from the living room, but for most of today we just watched football, ate pizza, and knocked back beers. During half-time and commercial breaks, anti-American that I am, I suggested ideas for how they can Destroy America. My top recommendation to them: get those damned Real Americans first!

The reign of the Anti-Christ so far is a wonderful thing.

[Oldtimeralso]

109. It is Great, they made my house a mosque and now I don't pay taxes on the property. N/T

[bitchkitty]

111. They made my dog gay.

And now he's humping furniture and pestering me to go on welfare.

[mshasta]

112. I just got the new Amero coins

but still going to keep few dollars for sentimental reasons....

[Critters2]

113. I've been notice that I should start packing, I hope we get s'mores at the re-education camp! nt

[truthisfreedom]

114. They turned my whole house upside down.

˙ʍou ʇɥƃıɐɹʇs ǝdʎʇ uǝʌǝ ʇ,uɐɔ ı

[kath]

115. Comrades! What new happenings today?

I have been very busy memorizing my new Qu'ran.