My two sons are being harassed at school- because we voted for Obama :(

[Mother Of Four]

If it's as bad today as it was yesterday I'm going to have to go in and talk to the principle.

My 16 year old had Obama written on his right hand, the back of it- so that you could hold up your fist and others would be able to read it.

Here's what happened.

In this school, it's about 40 black/45 white and 15 percent hispanic. The white kids started calling my son a (I seriously can't stand to type this) monkey lover. Two boys came up to him and called him a traitor for his parents supporting a terrorist...

My 16 year old son, my wonderful beautiful son, did his best to stay patient...and ignore as much as he could.

On the flip side, teachers and the other students were all smiling at him and some of the other boys would shake his hand.

If you haven't figured it out yet, this county went 55 percent for McCain. (NC)

When he got home yesterday, he let loose. You see, our family back home is a mix of all shades. Some adopted, some by marriage. I raised my kids to judge someone by HOW they are, not what they look like.

It HURT him. Deeply and profoundly HURT him, and no matter how patient he was...having Obama written on his hand ended up blowing up in his face. I had no explanation for why they were so hateful, the only thing I could think of to say was that these kids are only exposed to one side of things...and that they were afraid because everything is going to be so different.

My 18 year old, who never fights, put an end to his harassment himself the first time it happened at lunch. He got up in the other kids face and said "I don't give a rats ass if I get suspended, insult me again and you'll have a broken nose."

I'm glad he stood up for himself, but alarmed too. He has NEVER acted that way, when I asked what possessed him he said "I'm sick of their crap. I am NOT going to take it anymore. I'm registered as a Dem, I voted Dem, and if they don't like it they can choke on their teeth."

I cried today, not because of the joy I should be feeling...but because my beautiful boys are having to stand up more NOW than before the election.

I needed to share this, thank you. There really isn't anyone around here I can talk to about it- since we aren't from here there really aren't many who would understand why it's such a huge thing to people who are supposed to be "allied" to the color of their skin.

[HEyHEY]

1. Just tell him to remind them THEY'RE in the minority!

[tosh]

8. Good one.

add: You win some, you lose some. This time you lost. Deal with it.

[Benhurst]

23. Yes, they are, even here in North Carolina.

[bdamomma]

50. they are certainly in the minority.

[Midlodemocrat]

2. I'm sorry. I fully expect my16yo to get suspended for fighting in the

coming days or weeks. The racism here is violently frightening. I lost a good friend yesterday over the election because I never realized how racist she was until she called Obama a 'fucking gorilla'.

It's horrifying in this day and age. My own children are color blind, thank God. I can't imagine instilling that level of hatred in your child.

[Cha]

20. Oh that's bad...racists are such insecure

frightened little things.

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

3. Thanks for posting - I'm sorry your family is going through this

Kids can be so cruel, but it's even worse knowing that their parents have taught them to be that way. Sounds like you are raising fine young men - hang in there! :hug:

[Sabriel]

4. Document, document, document

As a former teacher, I advise you to put it in writing (diplomatically, of course), and mail it to the principal. That's harassment and bullying, and in this day and age, principals ought to know the repercussions of crap like that.

You HAVE to put it in writing, so that if anything else happens, there's a paper trail.

[Mother Of Four]

10. I'll let them know-

and we'll write anything down starting when they get home today.

Thank you.

[Sabriel]

16. I also meant to say

Send a letter to the principal, and then if the harassment keeps occurring, cc the next one to the superintendent. No principal likes bad PR.

Good luck! You're making me feel better about my own kids' school!

[Mother Of Four]

27. Will do.

Thanks :)

[Brotherjohn]

22. Exactly. Document and file formal complaints w/ the school system.

And hopefully, they can resists the temptation to resort to violence (remember MLK, Jr., Ghandi...).

You should be proud of them, though. I used to live in a place like that. We now live in NC as well, but a much more blue area (Wake).

Good luck. You have raised your sons well.

[Mother Of Four]

26. Thank you...

...I'm glad you live in a bluer area.

I'm very proud of my kiddos, I just wish this wasn't happening.

[trayfoot]

37. As a long-time educator, I absolutely agree!

The rule of thumb, "If it isn't documented, it didn't happen."

[firedupdem]

5. You have great kids...I'm sorry that happened. My son is one of

the only black kids at his high school and he's gotten some support and a few ass holes. He was arguing with some jerk by text last nite and I made him shut off his phone. I've been worried since the election and told him to ignore the ignorant ass holes. He's hearing it all too even the Obama killed his grandmother crap. Kids repeat what their ignorant ass parents say. At least we know that we are raising our children the right way and even if McCain had won our kids wouldn't say the nasty things these other kids are. I would talk to school administration if it gets any worse. Our children shouldn't' have to deal with this nastiness at school.

[leftofcool]

6. A man has to stand up for himself and his beliefs. You probably need to let

them learn to be men and stay out of it. Mothers can sometimes make things worse by interferring. Just some words from a mother who raised 2 sons and one adopted son.

[Mother Of Four]

12. It's hard though-

Hubby feels the same way you do. :blush: I'm going to have them do the document thing though, so that they at least have something to refer back to, in case I do need to go in/send it in.

[firedupdem]

14. It's always hard for us mothers. My husband says the same thing

about ignoring stuff. My kid has my temperament and I guess thats a good thing because they know he will kick their asses if they say anything racial. You have a different situation because they may feel okay saying it to your kids but not mine because he's black. Hang in there!

[Mother Of Four]

18. HUGS

:hug: for both of your posts....

Heres hoping all this crap ends soon. I'm sorry your son has to deal with arsehats at school too.

[firedupdem]

21. Back at ya!!! What would the kids do without us?

:pals:

[Lumpsum]

7. Here's what I would do.

Enroll your kids in some martial art classes, and then tell them if anyone else gets in their face and starts spouting off racist remarks that they should break the kids' fucking nose.

[Crankie Avalon]

9. Well, those people were ugly back when they were "winning," so you can imagine how much worse...

...they'll be while losing.

[maxsolomon]

11. i assume the AA kids did not hear your son called

"monkey-lover". i don't think it would go over so well.

sometimes it's hard to realize that seattle is in the same country as a school like your son's. hell, even the HS i attended in downtown cincinnati in the late 70's no one dared say shit like that - or wanted to - we all got along.

tell your sons that high school ends, those idiots are acting out because they are scared, and then they'll never have to put up with such ignorant, bigoted folk again.

[ieoeja]

40. I was going to ask about that. Did they?

If they did not, then be certain they do.

I've done that before. When someone whispers something racist to me in the vicinity of some African-Americans, I ask them, "did you just say ..." in a very loud and accusing voice.

Tons of fun making racists beat feet!


However, I know in some isolated spots Blacks still have to put up with openly racist crap. If you're in such a spot ... I'd still fucking do it. But some do question my sanity.

[Teaser]

13. I'm glad your kids are fighting back.

My parents tried to raise me as a "turn the other cheek" kinda kid.

Worst mistake ever. That got my ass beat so much it wasn't funny.

God I wish I had known kung fu back then.

[ReadTomPaine]

15. Remember how everyone was saying the real work starts *after* the election?

Well.. they weren't kidding. All of us are going to have to stand up and fight back to create the kind of country we can be proud of again, the kind of community we can call our home.

Sometimes, we can reach out to others but often we will need to defend and promote our values and views as forcefully as they are assailed. There is no simple way around what we face. It has to be met head on, and taken down - one person, one discussion and yes, one fight, at a time.

[Mother Of Four]

29. You're right-

There's alot of work to be done. Nothing worthwhile comes with no sweat, that's something my Dad used to say.

[AspenRose]

35. +1

[patrice]

17. Your son is, and will further be, blessed by autonomy and integrity, something the

others lack. He will be a happier person than they are.

[mscuedawg]

19. I'm sending you a hug....because we just got a horrible text from my 16 y/o step daughter....

...it even sickened my husband, who is usually pretty laid back. It was a racial slur against President-Elect Obama, used the n-word and referred to a Christmas tree and a noose...

So my DH replied to his daughter that it was not only NOT funny but inappropriate...he then emailed his exwife and told her he didnt appreciate it. Here was her response: (and I kept the spelling, as it shows her ignorance)...

regarding the text, I received it from MY son and found it quite funny! Our views about NOBOMA are quite set, however maybe not yours. While you and the mrs. may want to be parents of the year, your not and please remember that. Respect for the individual is what we teach here in our home and the young, smart adults that mike and I have raised have thier own opinions and WE respect that. My husband and I have and are raising two very informed and upstanding young adults and we are proud of them!

I'm just sick...and personally, I don't want that hate in MY house...its just totally disheartening....

So here's your :hug:... Have faith in remembering THEY are now the minority...

[Mother Of Four]

25. What a horrible woman-

To teach a young person that :(

I'm so sorry you have to deal with that person.

:hug: back to you, I hope Karma will come back and bite that woman in the butt.

[mtnsnake]

24. That nonsense was bound to happen, unfortunately. Fortunately, though,

I think things will calm down in a relatively short amount of time. Still, I would be just as upset as you if it happened to my kids. Stuff like that just ruins everything, and it's so alarming to be reminded of just how much ignorance still exists in this country.

[eleny]

28. You're up against a really strong cultural divide

First, I'm sorry this happened to your kids. But it sounds like they're good people and you will all get through this.

Now, I'd like to point you to something that might help you to figure it all out. Earlier this year I read a book titled "Deer Hunting With Jesus" by Joe Bageant. Joe is a liberal guy who was born in Fredericksburg, Virginia. This book explained so much about why the people of Appalachian America think and vote the way they do. It's a book that's an education in itself. There are historical and cultural reasons that go back centuries for these people. And the Republican Party has their number.

Jim Webb, the Dem senator from Virginia, is also of that heritage and has written about it. So I want to read his book this year. I think it's important to know the "why" of things to be able to deal with it. I'm originally from New York City and moved to Colorado in 1976. I love Colorado but the rednecked politics in much of the state back then drove me nuts. Finally, after all these years, I understand it and can deal with it much better.

All the best to you and your fine sons. You did good raising them, mom!

[CADEMOCRAT7]

30. I am proud of your sons, and for you. You raised them well.

I do think you need to go to the principle and explain what happened. This is unacceptable. The school needs to take a stand on racism. And, I like the post about "they are in the minority", because they are! This shadow side of America is in the process of healing. Please bring attention to the school so they can be partners in this healing of racism.

[Mother Of Four]

34. I'm going to take some of Sabriel's advice-

and document/document/document.

Thank you, I'm a lucky mom to have great kids.

Funny thing is, my girls (middle school) aren't having a problem at all with any form of harassment.

[Jed Dilligan]

31. Your 18 year old's response was the correct one.

Not in an ideal world, but in the real world.

[NotThisTime]

32. Your 18 year old took the right tact sorry to say - my DS had to do that this week in regards to

religion, as he is agnostic, anyhow, things got heated, and DS said what he had to say, otherwise, this crap would go on forever... I'm afraid that when you're in the minority, you get it from all sides, whether it's religion, race, heritage, etc.... DD can't or won't stand up for herself (in regards to religion) & she continues to get trashed for it, DS has no problem throwing science into the mix and meaning what he says. He has far fewer problems... but both my kids know they're in the minority on this one. My best thoughts go out to you that there's a calming of nerves in the coming days...

[NOLALady]

33. The Mother of one of my daughter's classmates

said something to the effect that she'd plant a knife in my daughter's chest, if she found out that my daughter voted for Obama.

I know this woman and I am 99% sure she would not harm my daughter. But, it really upset my daughter as this was an adult who was important to her.

BTW, our parish voted 79% for McCain. I am so ashamed of my community.

[Mother Of Four]

36. That is a terrible thing for her to say!

I don't even know how to respond to that. Sheer venom :(

:grr: Another one that I hope Karma comes back and bites them...HARD. I'm glad your daughter has you to turn to, that's just awful.

[Zookeeper]

41. Please talk to that mother and let her know how wildly...

inappropriate and disturbing that threat was. It would be good for your daughter to see you challenge such outrageous behavior.

(Good luck and a hug for your daughter.)

[NOLALady]

49. I intend to do just that.

I haven't done it yet, because I am still quite angry.

My daughter was talking on the cell phone when she said some thing to the effect of...
"Voting for Obama was my choice. How do you think your Mother would feel if I said I'd stab her for exercising her choice?"

At first she wouldn't tell me who she was talking to as these are neighbors and she was afraid that I'd go off on the kids Mother. My baby was calmer than I was about this incident.

Talk to her I will. She needs to know this was inappropriate and she needs to know that she hurt my daughter.

Thanks for the hug. :hug: Back at ya.

[yardwork]

44. I'd almost be inclined to report that as a threat. I've never heard such an outrageous thing.

[Kind of Blue]

38. I'm so PROUD of your boys.

My family is a mixture of everyone and religion, as well. MY 15year old daughter was in 2 verbal fights with boys yesterday, for no outward signage but they just knew, based on her family and her remarkable knowledge of current events. But her comebacks were so completely fierce she shut them up and we had a good laugh last night. But in the back of my mind, I prayed that it wouldn't get worse. I forgot to add the Yes on 8 old geezers who got in her face on her way to school, even starting with I know you're too young to vote, but... She shut them up as well and I went out there later in the day and confronted them. I'm so proud of her that she has a strong backbone and a quick wit. But it is worrisome but there's no escaping taking the good with the bad. Congratulations on raising a strong man!

[TheKentuckian]

39. Bullies must be stood up to or they'll run you over

it often does wonders for the bully too. Sometimes you can have an epiphany while mulling over a knuckle sammich.

[Zookeeper]

42. Your 18 year old did the right thing, especially at his age.

Remember, the wing-nuts and fundies think lib-ruls are a bunch of wimps. Maybe they would behave better if they knew they were risking a knuckle sandwich.

(I have three teens, and this election has been really eye-opening for them as well. Hang in there!)

[yardwork]

43. As a fellow North Carolina resident, I feel terrible about this.

Unfortunately, this is the reality of our country right now. There has been so much ignorant hatred spread about Obama, people who believe it are behaving insanely. The entire Republican Party should be ashamed of themselves. And we need to get hate radio off the air. I'll bet that those kids live in homes that have hate radio on all day long.

Congratulations to your kids for standing up for what is right. Please let us know how things go. I hope and believe that things will calm down once people realize that they've been told a lot of hateful lies about Obama and he's not what they've been led to believe.

[MaryEllen9399]

46. and probably the wacked out religious tv channels too nt

[zbdent]

45. Repukes have this mistaken belief that all people who vote for Dems

are pacifists ...

One day, they're going to get a painful surprise ...

[paparush]

47. My 8th grade son, and his small band of Obama supporters, have been catching hell in Middle School.

Our County went 52% McCain. *sigh*

[mmonk]

48. Hhhmmm. My youngest son goes to a predominately white private school

for kids struggling academically in Raleigh whereby the school mock election went Obama by 70%. Same state but different in temperament I guess.