America needs to grow the fuck up about gay marriage

[Prophet 451]

Seriously.

OK, what prompted this tirade about the stupidity of the American public? Granted, I don't need much of an excuse but in this case, it was the fact that Prop 8 has apparently passed in California. Now, if you've been living under a rock for the last year or so, here's how it breaks down: The California Supreme Court were presented with a case where they had to decide if the state ban on same-sex marriage conflicted with the state constitution's ban on sexual discrimination. They decided that the two conflicted. Making that decision was their only responsibility. Not enforcing the "will of the people", not protecting the "moral fabric" of the nation, just interpreting the law. So, a bunch of kill-joys got enough signatures from other kill-joys to get a proposition on the ballot during the election to put a ban on same-sex marriage INTO. THE. STATE. CONSTITUTION.

Does this not strike anyone else as fucking insane? Let's be clear, no-one is talking about forcing churches to perform same-sex marriage ceremonies, no-one is going to force your pastor to marry Bob and Eric, that's not what we're saying. All we are saying is that two people should not be prevented from entering into what is, in actuality, a state-sanctioned contract because they both happen to share the same configuration of genitals. So let me get this straight: I can marry Rosie O'Donnel, despite the fact that we have precisely nothing in common and would not be sexually interested in each other if we were both bathed in pheremones but I can't marry RuPaul because, by some cosmic accident, we both have cocks? Does this make sense to anyone?

And why has California banned same-sex marriage? Because people are squicked by two guys fucking. No, really. Don't feed me shit about religion because my religion isn't getting made into law and don't feed me crap about "traditional marriage" either. Do you actually know what "traditional marriage" was? Traditional marriage was a property purchase. Really, the man purchased the right to fuck at will (no such thing as spousal rape then) from the woman's father. The woman had no say in the matter. That's what traditional marriage was. As a society, we grew up in the end and realised that raping your wife was wrong and that a wife was a partner instead of a pet and yet, we still, as a society, can't get over being squicked out by two men fucking. We're fine with two girls making out but two guys? Oh no, that's too much.

See, everyone gets real hung up on whether being gay is a "choice". Now, the evidence I've seen isn't entirely conclusive yet but it seems to indicate that the gay is an inborn trait, like having black hair but still, there's people who think it's a choice. Who cares?. So it's a choice, so what? Lots of things are choices. BDSM is a choice, threesomes are a choice. We don't legislate either of those. We don't give a shit if two people with a combined age of 357 marry, that's considered sweet; we don't care if Britney Spears has a marriage that lasts less time than a weekend in Vegas but two guys can't settle down and have a life together?

Are people scared that teh ghey is infectious? People trust me, you might get to enjoy taking it in the ass ('cos that feels fantastic) but you're still not going to be going ga-ga over Orlando Bloom. Is it like an exclusivity thing, marriage becomes less special when more people can do it? I don't get it. We are talking about the extension of legal rights to a group of people who would enjoy those rights but for the cosmic coin-flip of being born the same gender. Our icecaps are melting, our coral reef is bleaching, we're in two wars with Lord knows how many dead and people are literally freezing to death on the streets. If you seriously think two guys getting hitched is the biggest problem facing us, you need a check-up from the neck up.

People, let me tell you, love is pretty rare in this world and generally, there's not enough of it. We have, on average, about seventy years on this paltry, pox-ridden planet of over six billion people so your odds of finding the one are already pretty long so when you manage to find that one, the one that completes you, we shouldn't put barriers in the way. Love is rare, love is precious and love should not be put to the vote.

Alternatively, we could always get Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie to do a nude campaign for same-sex marriage. Who wouldn't want to see more of that?

[Lucy Goosey]

1. Bravo - well said.

I hope the passing of Prop 8 will become a watershed moment. People are angry about this, and it isn't going away.

Your point about "traditional marriage" is one that I always use when people try to throw that tired phrase in my face - by the traditional definition of marriage, my husband would own me. See why "traditional" things sometimes have to change, people?

[Prophet 451]

3. "tradition is the name we give...

...to something daft we've been doing a long time" ~ Terry Pratchett

His point was essentially the same as yours; that tradition isn't automatically bad but holding something as sacred purely because we'd been doing it for a long time is deranged.

[yardwork]

2. Great rant! Thank you.

[Patiod]

4. My argument to homophobic relatives

1. So you're for promiscuity? You don't support people promising monogamy? You would prefer Cousin G in bathhouses rather than home with a committed partner?

2. You would prefer he marry a woman? What woman? Who would you want your daughter marrying - a guy that was straight from birth, or a "ex-gay"? (that one scores highest on the "I hadn't thought of it that way" chart for ignoramuses).

Do you think what happened to cousin S was a good thing - that nice Catholic doctor Navy man she married in a big Catholic ceremony, and then he dumped her and devastated her when he finally admitted to her that he always thought of himself as a woman? You think that pressuring people to pretend to be straight is a good idea? What about the collateral damage?

That last one actually gets them thinking. "Civil rights" and "equal protection" do nothing for the religiously insane, but asking if they want to put an "innocent" girl through a heartbreaking divorce (which will ruin her for further Catholic marriage without an expensive annulment) after a guy no longer can pretend to be straight hits home. In their hearts, they don't REALLY believe gay people (especially gay guys) can "go straight" - it's just a talking point.

But what I really want to say is what the OP said: "grow the fuck up"

[sweetpotato]

13. My ex-husband is gay

We were married for 11 years, 12 if you count the year's separation we had to do before the divorce.

We didn't have children and now its too late for me to have any. I am remarried, but it was a struggle to trust my now husband. We both paid emotionally for the damage done by my first marriage.

The anger I held for my ex-husband was for the lying and cheating. He cannot help who he is, and I am sad that he was forced by his family and *society* to deny his orientation. I am angry that he felt he was pushed to marry a woman to be *normal.* Both of us were victims.

I sure wish he had been able to be himself - he would have been a great friend to have, but not to marry. The marriage ruined the friendship.

I don't know if telling my story would help or hurt the cause of marriage for all.

I have discussed my feelings about this with some people who are opposed to gay marriage. It usually gives them something to think about. They somehow forget that if they want to push people back in the closet, that people get hurt. I don't know if any have changed their minds about it, but I hope they are still thinking about it.

[Patiod]

16. Wow, sorry you went through that.

How heartbreaking

It must have happened a lot until recently - the pressure to be "straight" was so strong.

My cousin, a former boss, and a couple in our church - and that's just the ones that are "out" about why they divorced.

[RobertDevereaux]

5. Nicely put...

I couldn't agree more.

[Marrah_G]

6. I'm so sorry

I don't know what else to say. The stupidity and prejudice over this issue is something I cannot understand.

I live in Mass. Nothing has changed here since it became legal. We still have the lowest divorce rate.

It makes me sad to know that Humanity still has not evolved past irrational fears of anyone different.

Maybe we never will.

I'm ashamed at our country's behavior.

Even here in this most liberal of all liberal places you still see a few examples.

Imagine how many there are in the general population.

I have hopes that my children's generation and my grandchildren's generation will do better then we have.

[Starry Messenger]

7. Awesome rant!

And how do people miss the part that they altered the State Constitution? I guess they hoped everyone would be too distracted by the sex part to notice the damaging precedent.

[mscuedawg]

8. I wholeheartedly agree...just as I agree that it shouldnt have taken this long...

...to have an African American elected President...or shouldn't have taken until 1965 for African Americans to vote....

My point is progress takes time...

My hope is that our society will continue and GROW with "tolerance" and "humility"...and that one day there will be no difference...whether you call it "marriage" or "garriage" (that was from a gay couple close to my heart who dont CARE what you call it...)

:grouphug:

[terrya]

9. Great, great post. Recommended and thank you.

[Mudoria]

10. I agree but shouldn't this be in GD?

[Prophet 451]

11. I thought it was

Ooops, my bad.

[Catherine Vincent]

12. This is the type of rant that the anti-marriage people need to hear.

The problem is, they don't want to hear it.

[Prophet 451]

14. Then I'll shout

It's like this: I'm bisexual, my current (and hopefully last) partner is female. For me, marriage is an option but I have many friends who are, as Freddie Mercury put it, "gay as a daffadil" (and there's another thing: If we decide this based on contribution to society, gay people have more than qualified). I have relatives who are openly, flamboyantly gay. I'm also partly Roma and we have a saying "Me against my brother, my brother and I against my cousin but my cousin and I against the stranger". They deserve the same chance at happiness that I got and woe betide anyone who says different.

[jonnyblitz]

15. I enjoyed this rant!!

thanks! :hi: