HuffPo: Chuck Norris: Obama Out To Steal Your Wallet

[SemiCharmedQuark]

*snip*
Chuck Norris sure hasn't mellowed since barnstorming for Mike Huckabee back in the spring (and warning that John McCain might drop dead at any moment). In his latest column, he boasts about working for Prop 8 in California to ban gay marriage, then adds: "And as far as the presidential race? I couldn't put it any better than a recent poem I received," a takeoff on 'Twas the Night Before Christmas. He concludes by calling Obama a "socialist." Here are some excerpts, courtesy Chuck:

When all of a sudden/There arose such a noise/I peered out of my window/ Saw Obama and his boys.

They had come for my wallet./ They wanted my pay/ To give to the others,/ Who had not worked a day!

He snatched up my money /And quick as a wink /Jumped back on his bandwagon/ As I gagged from the political stink.

He then rallied his henchmen,/ Who were pulling his cart./ I could tell they were out /To tear my country apart!

They took off for his cause, /And as he flew out of sight,/ I heard him laugh at the nation, /Who wouldn't stand up and fight!

*snip*


http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/11/10/chuck-norris-obama-out-to_n_142683.html

[Lorentz]

1. Obama doesn't steal your wallet -- your wallet steals itself to Obama!

Who'da thunk it that Chuck Norris would be scared of Obama?

[Danger Mouse]

2. Chuck Norris eats shit and likes it. He's that tough.

[ej510]

4. He has a brain the size of a flea.

[salguine]

25. Dude—I heard he shaves with a blowtorch and wipes his ass with 80-grit sandpaper.

[Liberal Veteran]

3. That has been who is relegated to infomercial fame? Billy Mays is the informercial king

Come back and bug me when you got something that will clean my baseboards for me, Chuck.

[NYC_SKP]

5. So, Obama and his boys pulled a drive by heist and hightailed it back to the

housing project to give it away all the welfare cheats....is that the picture you got?

That's what it sounded like to me...

[Thrill]

6. So in other words Chuck Norris is a selfish, self-centered jerk

[rebel with a cause]

31. And a racist too boot.

[mokawanis]

7. If I ever meet Chuck Norris

I'll kick his ass 8 ways to Sunday!

[tkmorris]

8. I'm guessing Bruce Lee gave him incipient brain damage

I think I may have to go watch that movie again.

[FKA MNChimpH8R]

39. No shit. In a shoot (real) fight, Norris wouldn't have

lasted two minutes with Bruce Lee.

[TheKentuckian]

9. Silly Chuck, go die your beard some more

Does anyone, even his most ardent fans give a crap what Norris thinks about anything other than martial arts and maybe a workout regiment?

[SemiCharmedQuark]

12. Not even the rest of the Karate Kommandos.

[RagAss]

10. Sorry old fuck ! Pay that tax increase, Fool !

[budkin]

59. LMAO! Awesome.

Chuck Norris pwned by higher taxes!

[npk]

11. Does anyone else see this as racist, rather than just absurd

Seems Chuck had more on his mind than just acting like his typical absurd self. What I read from that was "The black man with his boys (read thugs) is going to still my wallet (read beat me up with a pipe and rob me) What kind of shit is this, really.

[political_Dem]

14. I thought the same thing. It looks like Chuck is threatened by a POC in power.

[rebel with a cause]

34. No matter who he had on his show....

I always thought chuckie was a racist, and he now has proven me correct.

[Warren Stupidity]

13. I can't wait to spend Chuck's money!

What are you going to buy?

I'm going to buy a no water chai soy latte and not drink any of it!

[firedupdem]

15. Fuck this little roach!! Reminds me of the post going around with

the joke from the onion. Obama stealing. They can all fuck off!

[regnaD kciN]

16. As far as I'm concerned, Obama can steal Norris's wallet anytime he wants...!

If we take Chuck's money, he won't be able to spend it on making any more lousy movies. Consider it an action for the national good.

:spank:

[RepublicanElephant]

17. bruce lee schools chuck norris in economics...

[Sebastian Doyle]

18. You mean Chuck Norris actually does something worse than his acting?

his freeper "poetry" :puke:

[Starry Messenger]

21. I know. I feel soiled and violated.

Can one be soilated?

[avaistheone1]

19. Poor, poor, poor Chuck Norris.

Does he really think anyone is worried about his financial status?

[Starbucks Anarchist]

20. Barack Obama doesn't laugh at Chuck Norris...

He steals his soul.

[yellowcanine]

22. Pathetic losers can't even come up with any originality in their insults.

[BlueIdaho]

23. Why oh why on God's green earth

Is anybody talking to that tool? He is a pip squeek. A washed-up movie actor with a short guy complex. Who gives a fuck what this numb skull has to say?

[Political Tiger]

24. He needs to stop using that cheap hair dye

And someone should tell him it's not supposed to be used on your damn eyebrows!

[Whoa20]

26. I bet this guy runs for office,

as actually, he, because he was an actor, could be the next Ronald Reagan, just like Fred Thompson.

[4lbs]

28. How did Fred Thompson's presidential run this year do?

n/t

[Whoa20]

29. I actually think Norris would be a danger

if he were 10 years younger, and served in government in some capacity. He could win more youth votes with his jokes and persona. Too bad he's 68 tho. C'mon, Fred Thompson is a fancy Homer Simpson.

[4lbs]

36. Fred Thompson was a highly popular actor, and when he announced his run on the Tonight Show, he was

soon seen as a frontrunner for the GOP nod.

Then he began giving campaign speeches. People fell asleep and his campaign crashed and burned in a few months. He was a virtual non-factor in the primaries.


I see Chuck Norris the same way.

[DRoseDARs]

27. Chuck Noris is so transparent, Stevie Wonder sees right through him

eom

[awoke_in_2003]

30. Chuck, please prove to us

your true power- go roundhouse kick yourself.

[ecstatic]

32. so says the Total Gym scam artist

:eyes:

[DU GrovelBot]

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[bridgit]

35. Norris should talk, his movies have been pilfering money from people for years now

[RamboLiberal]

37. ROFL - you got that right

Chuckie got kicked in the head once too often. I wonder how long till his stupid book "Black Belt Patriot" is in the $1 rack? Chuckie is a typical Repuke who tossed off his first wife for a trophy wife. I wouldn't worry about him running for office - he's almost as old as McCain - Chuckie is 68.

[ShadowLiberal]

38. What's most ironic about 'wallet stealing' is according to politico the richest 5% supported Obama

Shows how much the richest 5% are concerned about Obama stealing their wallots, more of them voted for him then for McCain according to politico (unfortunately they don't give the margins)

http://www.politico.com/news/stories/1108/15471.html

"Barack Obama promised he would lower taxes for 95 percent of Americans and presumably raise them for the 5 percent who benefited most under President Bush’s tax policies. But, remarkably, the most affluent 5 percent supported Obama and that was perhaps the key to his victory last week."

[Frank Booth]

40. I can't believe that so many people on this site would say such negative things about Chuck Norris.

You all better prepare to get your asses kicked.

[sampsonblk]

41. He's an idiot

This guy is clueless. Why does he hate America so much? LOL

[TexasObserver]

42. Huckster polled only 10% of GOP voters for 2012, so Chuckster's got no stroke.

[CTLawGuy]

43. wow those republicans have sure figured us out

take their money and give it to lazy (i.e. poor) people. That's what we do. Just tell those non-working people when and where to come pick up the money, and they'll all show right up. Hopefully we can get the workin' people's money all confiscated within about a week. :eyes:

Idiots.

[Ganja Ninja]

44. Too late for that Chuck, Bush and the Republican's already have.

Douchebag!

[harun]

45. Why would he steal our wallets? Republican rule has left them all empty

[mmonk]

46. Go ahead and fight it little man.

[Vinca]

47. Doesn't Chuck steal your wallet with that pathetic piece of equipment

he hawks on television?

[Alter Ego]

48. Chuck Norris: World's Biggest Retard.

Seriously, he must have taken too many blows to the head.

[truthisfreedom]

49. Ignore this shit.

Just ignore it.

[area51]

50. stealing wallets

Funny how Upchuck Norris had no problem with McBush stealing his wallet to pay for taxes on medical bennies. McBush wasn't shy about starting a new tax system that would screw everyone who isn't rich, yet the media didn't really talk about McBush's tax-and-spend medical plan that would've made our broken healthcare delivery system even worse than it is now.

$2500 voucher to buy your own piss-poor rightwing health insurance? :eyes:

[immoderate]

51. Who's Chuck Norris?

:shrug:

--IMM

[mitchum]

52. Who cares what you think, CARLOS?

[SIMPLYB1980]

53. LoL! Chuck Norris gets owned!

http://norrispaddle.ytmnd.com/

[cooolandrew]

54. What is this guys problem it works in his intrest for the >

average joe the plumber to have more money in his pocket to buy his DVDs or watch his films at the movies.

[L0oniX]

55. Who cares what that shitty actor wannabe says.

[tallahasseedem]

56. Isn't he Walker Texas Ranger?

Can't he just open a can of whoop-ass on those trying to steal it? :sarcasm:

[DeepBlueDem]

57. STFU, Walker Texas Ranger..

I hated that theme song!

[budkin]

58. Chuck Norris should kick his own ass.

[budkin]

60. Walker Texas Ranger is the worst show in the history of television

live with that legacy Chuck.

[JHB]

61. Chuck's been watching too many of his old movies.

He's beginning to think they were documentaries.

[Window]

62. Fuck Chuck and Huck.

[RUMMYisFROSTED]

63. This'll help:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLO1YIWQuXE

Of particular interest

3:34 lol
4:15 lol
5:45