My positive takeaway from the cartoon controversy . . .

[Empowerer]

I'll begin with a true story (stay with me - it has a point)

When I was a young associate working as the first and theretofore only black lawyer in a large law firm, a client who had never seen me repeatedly used the n-word in a telephone conversation. I immediately went to the firm's senior partner - I'll call him Rob, because that was his name -, who just laughed it off. The fact that I was shaking and in tears meant little to him - he just told me I needed to grow a thicker skin.

I then went to speak to my direct report, a more junior partner, whom I'll call John because that was his name. John listened to me and then said, "I'm sorry that happened. I can understand why you're upset."

A few weeks later, John came into my office and told me that the previous night at his country club, a friend told a "black" joke. This was a common occurrence, he said and he never thought much about it before.

"But last night I thought about you and how you would have felt if you were in the room, I felt terrible. So I told him he was way out of line and everybody just stared at me because no one had ever challenged him before."

This siuation is very similar. It's often hard for those in the majority to really understand how painful and offensive racist expressions such as this cartoon are to minorities. But when they witness a black friend or colleague get subjected to such things, it brings an entirely different perspective.

In this instance, the cartoonist was like the country club jokester who had always gotten away with his unacceptable behavior because no one ever called him on it.

But he and his editor misread the environment. President Obama has become such a familiar figure that even many white Americans who have rarely interacted with blacks now see him as a friend. In the past, many of them may never have thought twice about that cartoon, but now they see it through an entirely different lens and know it was a vicious swipe at their black President-friend. Like John, they are speaking up and some folks are stunned because they're no longer dealing with just a small group of blacks that they can try to dismiss, marginalize and shut up with bullying accusations that they're "playing the race card."

Yet they can still depend on their apologists - the Robs of the world - who will try to downplay the whole thing and tell the growing numbers of people who recognize and object to such racist expressions, "Oh, just grow a thicker skin!".

Fortunately, such apologists are being exposed, are outnumbered and have so little credibility that they will soon be irrelevant

This is a very positive change.

The End

[firedupdem]

1. Wow, what a post...thank you for this....

Unfortunately having a minority friend is what it takes to show people the light. My son is the only black kid on his basketball and football team. It's amazing to me now that he has friends here in this town how those kids come to his defense during games (usually with a sharp elbow...and some words they won't repeat to me) when the idiots on the other team make racist comments. I think they will have a different outlook on life because of the experiences they are all having now. This is why diversity is so important, and I don't just mean racial diversity.

**not advocating retaliation, my point is that kids recognize racist comments are wrong and that they hurt. Hopefully these kids will grow up with a different mindset.

[Aloha Spirit]

2. I agree that people think of him as their President-friend

and it's pretty awesome that people stick up for him. Especially younger people.
I also think there will be a lot more uncomfortable moments as people get called out and.. well, I guess society settles on a new more progressive norm.
Diversity in the White House...a long time coming, and people are just starting to deal with it.

One thing that's changed is, it seems the old pendulum swung back from when people used to complain about everybody being too politically correct about race and gender.


Thanks for posting your experience!

[Uzybone]

3. Great post

thank you.

[Tikki]

4. What I have seen with my own personal experience.....

is how the mainstream or typical children at the elementary school my grandson attends treat
him. He is living in the autistic spectrum.
They will come to his rescue and calm him down, more often then not, when he is appearing confused or out of sync.
This interaction, this reaching out, is helping him model more appropriate behaviors.

I believe the years (at least 3 decades that I know of here in this school district)
of even partial inclusion of Special Education children in mainstream classrooms at
mainstream campuses have helped parents and students and teachers understand the importance
of including everyone, together, under the big tent.


Tikki

[navarth]

5. A good thing to do when you hear a joke like that is

take the idiot who said it to someplace where there's a black person, and ask him to tell that person the joke.

Embarrass the fuck out of him. Goddam idiot.

[Mira]

6. Thank you, well and clearly presented. A good phrase at a time like this has

- in my life proven to be -
"Please do not assume I share your Prejudices"
K&R

[Cha]

9. That's a good one..

If anyone should ever say anything racist in my presence I would love to remember that.

[EFerrari]

7. I think you pinpoint the dynamic very precisely. This is about empathy

and about relationship, whether in life or in imagination, for many people. In order to change a group behavior -- even if we're only talking about the abiity to imagine how someone else feels -- sometimes you only need one group member who can project their empathy well enough so that it resonates around the room.

Great illustration. :thumbsup:

[omega minimo]

8. Eenie Meenie Minie Moe Catch a --

I learned at a young age not to use a word I heard on the school playground. And grew up in diverse cities in California. I also heard plenty of black kids use it among each other in high school and know the different context. Then moved out to a mostly white section of the county. My new white male "friends" dropped the Nword like nothing. I was shocked.

I questioned it. They told me "That's just how we grew up" in mostly white suburban schools. To their credit, they acknowledged that and knew not to use it around me (hopefully elsewhere........)

Ever since, if I hear it or another slur, I point it out as what it is. Unacceptable.

Seems like more folks in general could acknowledge that their upbringing may make them unfamiliar/unaware and not be DEFENSIVE about willful ignorance.

Thanks for a great OP

[Cha]

10. Beautiful illustration..

thank you, Empowerer~

[Empowerer]

11. Unbelieveable

As if on cue . . . A few minutes ago, I was crossing a parking lot and heard someone say the n-word, as clear as day. I looked around and saw a well-dressed, hip-looking 30ish white man packing up a very expensive sports car and three young black women nearby shaking their heads. I asked them, "Did I just hear what I thought I heard?". Yes, they told me. Turned out he said it to them.

Just then, an older white woman walked over to him and said, "I can't believe you just said that. What is the matter with you?". He said, "Mind your own business!"

He was still there when I drove past, so I put down my window and said, "Sir, you really should be more careful about the language you use. I heard you clear across the parking lot.".

He walked up to my car and said, "You need to mind your own f-ing business. You're harrassing me.". He then went around and looked at my license plate, dialed a number on his cell and said -"Run this plate for me please . . ."

I actually burst out laughing in his face.


At that point, I stopped being disgusted with him and started to just pity this guy. It was clear to me that more than being angry or self-righteous, he was just flat-out busted, embarrassed and exposed and, rather than just apologize, he was desperately trying to stop everyone from telling him we had all heard exactly what he said. All he wanted right then, I think, was to get as far away from that parking lot as he could.

This may not have been the first time this guy slipped up and said this but I will bet that it was the last time he will ever shout "nig-er" in a crowded parking lot.

[Cha]

12. Wow! Such ignorant insecure

people in the world. It's totally about how pathetic they are..'cause we don't have to give them the power to change our happiness.

I'm glad you said something to him, though.

[treestar]

13. Yeah, we have to get white people to think what would they feel like

if they were black and heard that - get them to walk in another's shoes. It only takes an imagination. Granted many republics don't seem to have one.

[countingbluecars]

14. K&R n/t

[HamdenRice]

15. Very well said! And welcome to DU nt