So I got money back from my health-insurance company today, and I was impressed

[krispos42]

It's incredible, really. I can see why the Republicans are so against socialization of the health-insurance industry. There is just no way that a clumsy, unresponsive government agency can keep up with the vast improvements that my carrier has made to my money in the cutthroat environment of competition.

The money that my insurance company gave me is just awesome! Here's a partial list of features:

• Ergonomic design
  
• Made from modern materials such as titanium and carbon-fiber
  
• Custom colors
  
• Direct fuel injection
  
• GPS
  
• Lithium-ion battery
  
• Intuitive interface
  
• Built-in heat and massage
  
• Compact, lightweight design
  
• 5.0 megapixel camera
  
• Mar-free surface
  
• Waterproof to 30 meters
  
• That's 100 feet for your non-metric types
  
• Tritium-illuminated numbers and letters
  
• Synchronizes to the US atomic clock
  
• 3G, WiFi (802.11n!), and Bluetooth
  
• Dual airbags
  
• USB 2.0 and FireWire ports
  
• Hypo-allergenic
  
• Non-flammable
  
• Polarized for glare reduction
  
• Comfort-rated to -10 degrees Fahrenheit
  
• One size fits all
  
• Built-in 200-watt subwoofer
  
• Certified HEPA filter
  
• Super-absorbent
  
• Rated SPF 30
  
• Ambidextrous safety



The GOVERNMENT, of course, is still plodding around putting INK on PAPER! And it's not even an inkjet... it's a friggin' PRINTING PRESS.


I sure am glad that the insurance companies bring so much innovation to paying bills that they receive from doctors. There's just no way that the government could bring this much innovation to the complex and intensely competitive process of sending money to doctors that send them a bill. Nope, never.

Carry on, citizens.

[krispos42]

1. Kick n/t