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"Yo! Y'all be listenin' to what I'm layin' down, homeys! This is yo' main man MC Steele, with the 411 on what yo' POTUS was REALLY tryin' t'say to y'all today! So lissen up, 'cuz we's gonna school ya! Bobby, go!"
"Hey. I'm Bobby Jindal. Welcome to mah neighborhood. Won't you be mah neighbor?...Ah'm here to show y'all a diff'rent side of what President Obama just said. Now, Ah know he told y'all t'study an' work hard in school...but we here in the Republican Party think y'all don't need to know a lot of that stuff they teach ya in school. I mean, like, in science class--VOLCANOES?? How is that ever gonna affect your life? Ha! Now Ah'm gonna turn it over t' my good friend, House Republican Leader John Boehner. Johnny, take it away!"
"Good day, children. I would like to preface my remarks by apologizing for that horrible Southern accent that Governor Jindal unfortunately possesses. Please forgive him; he's from the South and he can't help it. Here in Ohio, of course, as Senator Voinovich pointed out, we all speak without that terrible accent. Now. What I wanted to say to you is, President Obama's message to you was nothing but Democrat propaganda, forced upon you by a man with funny-color skin. And if there's anyone you can't trust, it's a man with funny-color skin. Please keep this in mind. Now I'll pass the baton to my fellow Midwesterner, Representative Michele Bachmann. Michele?"
"Thank you. Children...I don't know how to say this to you except to come right out and say it. President Obama is a COMMIE FASCIST PINKO who is not just trying to INDOCTRINATE you with evil Democrat values but to CONTROL YOUR MIND REMOTELY BY TAKING OVER YOUR BRAIN!!!!!!!!! If you so much as LISTENED to a thing he had to say, that means he HAS CONTROL OF YOUR MIND AND IS ALREADY MAKING YOU FOLLOW HIS BIDDING!!!! There is only one way for you to get back control of your brain, and that is to begin watching nothing but Fox News!! RIGHT NOW!! HURRY!! THERE MAY STILL BE TIME!! Thank you. Now I'll turn it over to my good friend, that wonderful lady who once was governor of Alaska before the Obama Forces of Evil forced her to step down, Sarah Palin."
"Thank you, Michele, for that wonderful introduction, which just goes to show that in a great country such as ours, women can do anything, including serving with our troops if they so choose to be doin' that also! Let's hear it for the troops!...Now children, I gotta question for ya: Why do YOU think the President of the United States would be talkin' to ya in school, and wantin' ya to be doin' things like he says? I think it's as plain as the noses on your little faces, you betcha! It's cause he wants ya to think that this wonderful America in which we live and work and dream and where our fondest hopes can find realization in reality, is not a place of freedom and liberty and self-reliance also, but a place where SOCIALISM is what's gonna get us where we're goin' to! And I am right here to tell ya, SOCIALISM such as the free health care also is NOT goin' to get us at the place where we are wantin' to be in this great country! So please, don't be listenin' to all that nonsense, and keep your ears open for the practical, common-sense solutions too that we the Republican Party can also find and bring to ya that will ensure a future of liberty and freedom for all of you and your families also too! Thank you!!!"
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