Using my powers to know why "conservatives" don't want to let their kids hear the POTUS.

[YOY]

To do this I must use my secret power. I must make a connection to the FReep mentality. I used to be there so it's not an impossibility but this is very painful and I hope my fellow DUers appreciate the lengths I am going through to see things from the oppositions eyes. "You're Welcome" in advance.

OK


Here I go...


...Channeling my inner FReep...going back to when I was an 18-year-old midwesterner and listened to Limbaugh (and couldn't get any action...)

...forgetting grad school...unlearning languages......losing emotional contact to those who really love me...losing bravery in the face of the unknown...losing compassion for those whom I have met who are different than I...feeling uncomfortable talking with homosexuals...forgetting conversations with right-wingers that made me realize that they know absolutely know nothing but fear...unlearning that aggressive violence solves nothing...

Must go further...Sweet Jesus this hurts! Ignorance is not bliss: no matter how hard you look you'll never find a happy skinhead.

...unlearning college...forgetting the kind lessons of my Union worker grandfather...forgetting how to properly make love to an woman...reinstalling hypocritical religious justifications...ungraduating high-school...Not seeing intelligence as attractive in women...establishing ridiculous cultural pride...losing patriotism for partisan nationalism but still calling it "patriotism"...feeling uncomfortably afraid when talking to black people...beginning to see the brilliance of the cinematic masterpiece "Tango and Cash"...

...CAN'T go TOO far or I WILL LOOSE kontrol of CAPS KEY...

Okay you stoopid tree huggers. I'm there and I know how the other side, the side who knows the trooth feels. Your all a bunch of homos and because your a bunch of homos that means you don't know nothing but buttseks! You want to really know why that Obammy HUSSAIN should not speek to the future of REAL AMERICA?!?!?!

DO YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE THE TRUTH!?!?!?

ARE YOU READY to know why that soshulist closet Muslin Obammy shood not be heard by the children to indocrinate them to his Hitlar youth groups!!1!!one!!!?


BECAUSE: Teh man haz teh hypnoeyez!



... ... ... ...Got too get bak to realty before I aktually call Glenn Bekc a "Journalist" or Rush Limbaugh "well informed" ...this hurts...I want to threaten peepul and then whine abowt it when they get pissy with me......

...coming back to reality...coming back to reality...the burning stupid is subsiding......oh man that feels much better...

I hope you folks appreciated that...it hurt.

[bushisanidiot]

1. HAHAHAHA!! Brilliant!

sorry you had to go through so much pain though! ;)

[YOY]

2. Wow...it was recced one and then unreccomended...

Glad to see that we're trolled properly by FReep Republic.

How you doing brainiacs? Didn't I get it right? Are you going to tell me that I got your little frame of mind wrong? I remember how you think. You cannot hide from that.

[bain_sidhe]

3. Thank you for your sacrifice

as some one wittier than I once said, "teh stupid, it burns..." Here's a cool cloth for your head... and a big :toast: for your wit!

[Berry Cool]

4. High-larious! DUzy! K&R!!!!

When I read this, I pictured that scene in the movie "Ghost" where Whoopi Goldberg, as the "psychic," has to allow the spirit of Patrick Swayze's character Sam to enter her body so he can touch Demi Moore again...you know, how it kind of happened with a "WHOOSH"...or maybe the way Lily Tomlin shared a body with Steve Martin in "All of Me"... :rofl:

It would make a great movie! Maybe a new version of "Heaven Can Wait"? Intelligent liberal man is sent to Heaven before his time, but is cremated before he can return to his body, and in order to continue to live out his life, has to go back in the body of a Cheeto-eating dittohead who lives in his mom's basement and just got killed in one of those stupid Darwin Award "Hold my beer and watch this!" accidents...He amazes everyone by switching his TV from Fox News to MSNBC, starts reading DU and Kos instead of Little Green Footballs and Red State Update, gets a job, moves into his own place, gets a girlfriend, has sex, decides to run for public office...and none of his friends can believe it!!

[YOY]

5. I love the plot to your movie...but one problem.

"none of his friends can believe it!! "

He has friends??? :evilgrin:

[Berry Cool]

27. You're right. Call for rewrite!

OK, his MOM can't believe it. She finally has a clean basement.

Edit to add: I know what we'll call the movie too: "Free Republican"!

[Beartracks]

54. "Free Republican" - the Movie LOL

:popcorn: :popcorn: :popcorn: :popcorn:

(Ominous music) "In a world ruled by hate and fear, one man dared to stand up, dared to throw off the shackles of his party... and dared to discover that truth is not oppression; truth is not the darkness; truth is what sets... you... free! (Epic fanfare with brass and strings) Free Republican. Coming soon to a theater near you."


Hmmm... Marketing this movie might be tough, since a Republican who gains his freedom would probably no longer be considered Republican by the ones he left behind. Oh, wait -- in the sequel he could make a rescue attempt: "Free Republican II: Back to Skull Island"

:rofl:

[lunatica]

37. I would go see the movie!

I love Ghost and I would love your movie! Ah! The possibilities for the comedy!

[asdjrocky]

6. You are good.

You are very, very good. My computer has a bug that won't let me rec, but I can sure kick it and I will.

Too damn funny.

[AspenRose]

7. You are so funny

:-)

[YOY]

13. Give it a K&R please!

Took me a while to write this sucker.

[asdjrocky]

8. Still laughing...

"...forgetting grad school...unlearning languages...." OMG.

[YOY]

9. :bows:

Somebody send it to David Cross if it makes the Greatest page...he can make a skit off of it.

[asdjrocky]

10. Do it now my friend.

[YOY]

11. Not with 3 recs...Still feeling all low self esteemy about it...

Actually it had 4 but someone unrecced. Wonder what kind of person would do that?

[asdjrocky]

12. Greatest page before lunch.

(I'm westcoast.) This shit is funny.

[create.peace]

26. Thar be trolls among us!nt

[YOY]

29. I'd prefer they speak up and tell me what part of my channeling was incorrect about their thinking.

n.t.

[create.peace]

31. from all the comments i read on other sites, they have a difficult time putting two words together,

much less a thought....

[madmom]

14. YEAH!! I just made it go to 5. I don't often use the rec or unrec on anything but

this was worth it. Here this is for you, you need it after that.:beer: :hug:

[LoKnLoD]

15. lol..buttseks

They sure do have a fascination with buttseks. Good job on this...rec!

[Octafish]

16. Outstanding.

Thank you, YOY!

Are you Vulcan?

[YOY]

17. No, Italian...with a twist of Dutch, Welsh, and Irish and a very anglo last name.

What can I say, paternal WASP Grandpappy liked "ethnic chicks"...

[create.peace]

32. those dutch got around!!nt

[TheDebbieDee]

24. I also heard Vulcan mid-meld music playing in the background!

[gauguin57]

18. Funny ... but too scary, because it's too true!

:scared: :scared: :scared: :scared: :scared:

[asdjrocky]

19. ...Still funny.

[YOY]

22. Yes it appears you were right...lunch crowd and all.

I'm so used to seeing my OPs sink like a stone.

[LynzM]

20. LMAO

Nicely done!! :rofl:

[scheming daemons]

21. Fantastic!

super lols.

[NanceGreggs]

23. BBB ...

Blatantly beyond brilliant!!!

:rofl:

[YOY]

25. That means a lot from you Oh mistress-of-the-well -focussed-rant!

Glad I made you giggle!

[SeaLyons]

28. That is PERFECTION!!!

[renate]

30. like the opposite of "Flowers for Algernon"

That was awesome.

:applause:

[YOY]

33. I'm hardly a genious to begin with though...

And Algernon was sweet to begin (like most mentally retarded folks) with and turned into something not so sweet. I'm a grouchy little bastard regularly.

Still I get the comparison.

[asdjrocky]

34. .

[ms liberty]

35. No sacrifice is too great for the cause. Thank you for your service! K&R n/t

[asdjrocky]

36. Yep. Still funny.

[lunatica]

38. What can I say? Thanks for the sacrifice. it enlightens us.

We truly need to understand.

[jenmito]

39. K&R! I hope there are other former freepers out there like you! n/t

[YOY]

40. I'm 35. I really haven't thought that way since I was 18.

Then I discovered weed and the ladies finally started noticing me.

In all seriousness I've slid to the left over the years pretty fast. I pretty much figured out their game when they were impeaching Bill Clinton for being a chubby chaser and treating him like a quintisential liberal when he was pretty much right of center.

[jenmito]

41. Good for you. At least you saw the light when you were still young...

although I'm sure you didn't FEEL like you were young when you were 18. You probably felt all grown up. I wonder how many more RWers finally woke up like you did.

[YOY]

43. No, I felt like a grouchy young douche bag.

Funny thing is I had a reputation among my good friends back then as "the smart one." I guess it's because I actually read books and don't give a shit about sports. They started to get a little distrusting of me before 2000 for thinking the Clinton thing was BS and my often heretical but nonchalant comments about Catholicism (were all raised Catholics). After 9-11 I started asking questions nobody wanted to hear. I asked things like (genuine curiosity and not nastily at all): "Don't you think were going a little too far with this 'hero' stuff?", "Have you actually read the Koran?" (I have...boring ass book reads like a lawbook...it's got some gems though), "If you support the war on terror so much why don't you enlist?" and cumulating with "What does Iraq have to do with 9-11?" and more recently "Just how many gays and lesbians do you actually know?"

Most of them stopped talking to me after two of the formerly closest ones decided I was "un-American" and most likely drew the conclusion that I had lived abroad too much or some such xenophobic tripe. Ironically, those two are the ones who still work for their daddies...I never pointed that out to them. The hypocrisy put into daylight would kill them.

A few of them came around in 2008...all Union workers pissed as hell about work drying up. Guys who used the N word back in high school but obviously didn't have a huge problem with electing a black man...and the douche bags who bitched about me are all white collar...go figure...

At any rate I just found out one of the douche bags is getting divorced. He just loved working for his dad so much he couldn't follow his wife's career out to California. My old man and I never talk too much these days out of personal reasons...but he always said that the douche bag's father divorced the douche bag's mother because he had a lover: Mammon. True to form I have never met a guy like him who put money above all else in such a weird manner and his son followed suite.

Sorry...just feel like story time since you brought up those days and I wanted to compare how we all thought then and think now.

[jenmito]

52. Thanks for that "history"...

very interesting. I admit I had to look up "Mammon" but I learned something and there's nothing wrong with learning new things. That sounds like some transformation you went through. I had no similar history-I was always liberal and I was not even into politics until the Lewinsky stuff happened. Then I started reading books about political things and my aunt found out and sent me a card that Al Gore gave her. She was the assistant HUD secretary in the Clinton admin.

Thanks for sharing your story. I like the ending. :)

[Cha]

42. That was brilliantly awesome,

YOY! I know it hurt but you went back to help us understand. Too bad there's so many of them and they want more so no listening to President Obama's speech on Education.

[YOY]

44. You know...if I look at DU tomorrow and see this way up there I may have to suffer again.

Perhaps on their next freakout over nothing.

The fun thing about this one is we get to actually laugh in their faces once it's actually out and they're proven to be idiots...again.

[Cha]

45. Takin' one for the

team, ya are.:banghead::pals:

[TygrBright]

46. Oh, man.... that HURT to watch. You sure you're okay?

Don't do that too often.

But I have to admit, it's quite a trick.

:rofl:

hilariously,
Bright

[YOY]

51. Hey if Skiinner doesn't mind and folks know that I am not using any nasty words out of bigotry,

Then I'd be willing to do it every week for just a few painful seconds. I'd need the other 6 days to recoup.

Just nail me to the cross.

[DRoseDARs]

47. Did someone say...

[DRoseDARs]

48. This is what conservatives truly fear:

[lillypaddle]

49. Wow

I'm impressed!

[Mad_Dem_X]

50. K&R - You are very brave to do that for us.

[I Have A Dream]

53. Damn, I'm too late to recommend this!

x(

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

:thumbsup: