"CHRISTIANS **ONLY**!! EMERGENCY!!!" bwahahahaha

[Bluebear]

Brothers and sisters, fall on your knees with your face to the rising sun and pray this every day until the next debate!!! Father, I lift up to you our brother, President Bush, say amen!! I ask that You become His voice at the next debate, that You inspire the Holy Spirit to breathe Your words into His mouth, that YOUR talking points are known, SAY AMEN! I ask that You strengthen Him, that You protect Him and that You keep Your Hand upon Him. I ask that You give Him wisdom, that You give Him courage to do what is right, CODIFY Ten Commandments into law, RETURN prayer to public school, OUTLAW homo "marriage", OUTLAW all abortion for ANY reason and OUTLAW stem cell "research" that only serves to kill Your little ones. I ask that You draw Him deeper into You, that You pour out Your Holy Spirit upon Him, say amen! That You give Him a deeping hunger and thirst for Your Word. I ask that You illuminate His spiritual eyes by the power of Your Holy Spirit. I ask that You give Him grace. I ask that He would be a man worthy of the calling You have placed on His life as the One who will bring us to Your glory. I ask that You bless His marriage, that You make Him a servant as a husband and a father. . I ask that You fill Him with Your Holy Spirit, that You work in Him and through Him and by Him to accomplish Your will in the events of the Middle East You foretold, say amen! I ask that You pour out Your love in His heart, that you keep His eyes on +Jesus+. I ask if it be Your will, that You will allow Him to remain the President of this country for another 4 years. Keep Him from physical danger. Stifle the unpatriotic left who are bent on stopping Your plan. I ask that You use Him as a tool in Your Hand for this country and this world, I ask that You empower Him to speak Your name whenever he has the opportunity. Continue to use the US as a weapon in Your Hand for the protection of Israel. Grant Him the power to carry out His mission to liberate the world and bring us to You. I ask that You continue to make Him a man of prayer. I ask most of all, that You make Him a man who knows and loves You more and more each day. Thank You that You raised Him up for such a time as this. We are RAPTURE ready, come Lord Jesus! We are RAPTURE ready, come Lord Jesus! We are RAPTURE ready, come Lord Jesus! Say amen, say amen!!!!

http://news.messages.yahoo.com/bbs?.mm=&action=m&board=37138445&tid=afpusvote&sid=37138445&mid=23026&thr=23026&cur=23026&dir=d

[Parche]

1. emergency

OH MY GOD

[AlCzervik]

2. did you read some of the responses?

lol.
< Previous | Next > < First | Last | Msg List >  Msg #: Go Reply    Post    
Recommend this Post Ignore this User  | Email this Posting | Report Abuse
Re: CHRISTIANS **ONLY**!!! EMERGENCY!!!!
by: swaffy09 (25/M/CT) 10/01/04 05:35 pm
Msg: 23063 of 24041
 
If Jesus thought like you, he deserved to be crucified.
I'll go sharpen the stakes.



 Posted as a reply to: Msg 23026 by meredith_ol_miss  

[wryter2000]

11. Another good answer

Why wait for the rapture? why not just leave now?


Posted as a reply to: Msg 23026 by meredith_ol_miss

[kodi]

77. i have to say, that was the funniest thing i ever read. thank you

i have tears in my eyes i laughed so hard.

[Lex]

3. I don't even know where to begin to tell you how scary that is!

[liberalhistorian]

4. And as a Christian myself, I and my fellow

liberal true Christians will pray hard every day for the exact opposite!!!!!!!

[Blue_Roses]

81. you know, I DID pray before this debate

and it was a prayer for TRUTH--that the TRUTH would be revealed and it was!

[CrowNotAngelGRL]

90. AMEN!

[ScreamingMeemie]

5. That's got to be sarcasm. ...I hope...

:hi:

[On the Road]

55. No, That is Absolutely Real

I have no question about it. I have hung around those circles and outsiders would not be likely to come up with something that rings this true.

[RareLubbockDem]

68. I was thinking sarcasm too.

Seems way over the top, but maybe you're right. Scaaaaaaaaaarrry.

[drdigi420]

6. if there was a god, bush would never have left Crawford

[wryter2000]

7. I know I'll regret it

I responded, "This is a joke, right?"

[AlCzervik]

8. look at this ones screen name!!!

Re: CHRISTIANS **ONLY**!!! EMERGENCY!!!!
by: bushandcheneyarelovers (43/M/New Jersey) 10/01/04 05:36 pm
Msg: 23084 of 24061
2 recommendations
 
you gotta be fucking kidding me. God's talking points??? You would be better off asking Laura to give him a blow job to calm him down before the next debate. (LOL)

[cmf]

9. I find this more scary than funny

:scared: There are a lot of people in this country that think this way.

[BootinUp]

23. bingo

I am currently in their territory too.

[doni_georgia]

10. Oh my God!

I don't know what is scarier that we have a dangerous doofus like * in the presidency or that people who write the above REALLY believe it! Please explain to me how the nut above is ANY different than the nuts who strap bombs to themselves? I consider myself a Christian and people like the one that posted this "prayer" scare the beejezus out of me!

[punpirate]

12. I think it's got to be a joke...

... `cuz even God's gonna have trouble giving Bush wisdom. Then again, maybe God's got a thing for oxymorons.... :P

[MADem]

13. You absolutely MUST read all of the thread responses

It's like Monty Python, only funnier!

[mongo]

14. apparently, paragraphs are against Christian doctrine

God that's hard to read.

[WoodrowFan]

20. the verse

I believe the relevant verse is something like "breakith not your text with line breaks nor the carriage return for they are the work of those who do not fear thy father the editor" or some such...

[GOPBasher]

45. LOL!

That's funny.

[MoonRiver]

15. Christians only, huh?

Jeez, there might be a lot of heathans that could go for that shit! I CRY FOUL!

[AntiCoup2K4]

16. This asshole's "faith" is a paradox unto itself

His "God" ( :evilgrin: ) has the power to fix elections, but NOT to protect Junior from the "evil unpatriotic Left" who are out to stop "His" plan.

And another thing I noticed.... Look at the capitolization on the pronouns referring to Bush - as if the Chimp were a Deity himself?

This clown WORSHIPS Bush as God, rendering his so called "Christianity" completely worthless.

[Captain Lance Bass]

22. What will they think of God after Nov 2?

So God is on "their" side?

What will they be saying when Kerry wins?

Kerry is the antichrist and end times are here?

Or will reality kick in and they see that they were duped by a false prophet for 4 years?

[Stuckinthebush]

The logic of this kind of thinking is astounding

If Bush is God's boy, where was God last night? Was he preoccupied? Was he being pissy? Was the devil helping Kerry, and if so, how is it that the Devil is so much more powerful? Did the "faithful" not pray hard enough (which brings up a host of other questions)? Were there more "faithful" praying for Kerry and, therefore, he won God's attention?

Amazing.

[CrowNotAngelGRL]

93. LOL I think Bush

forgot to invoke God. :bounce:

[WoodrowFan]

17. the author

check out the author. poor thing. this is a very scared and confused person.

Favorite Quote
"Just like what Nazi Germany did to the Jews, so liberal America is now doing to the evangelical Christians. Its no different. It is the same thing. It is happening all over again.- Pat Robertson, 1993"

photo is kinda scary too. (link below)


?pfLhdXBBkELvN7cf

[JohnKleeb]

24. No Pat we may think you're full of shit but we dont put you in camps

You act like you're the victims, yet you make liberals, gays, anyone whos not a fundy out to be a villian, he's a sick man, isn't he, hes the opressor not us.

[pelagius]

25. Ohmigod!

The photo looks seriously deranged.

[WoodrowFan]

26. i was thinking

Marilyn Manson a little bit.

[JohnKleeb]

28. I wanna see and my link dont work

[WoodrowFan]

31. use plastic turkey's link

then click on there original writer's name. It'll bring up the poor woman's profile.



or try this link..

http://profiles.yahoo.com/meredith_ol_miss/

[JohnKleeb]

51. Marilyn Manson became a woman and now lives in Oxford, MS?

:D god that woman is scary looking, I am sorry. Thanks.

[Ellen Forradalom]

86. I thought they gave a decent education at Ole Miss?

It's a respected school. Perhaps she fell through the cracks? Or perhaps she's a townie.

[hippywife]

56. You know usually when you post a pic

you post what you think is the best one...the one that you think flatters you most. Goes to state of mind, I guess.

[AntiCoup2K4]

62. Is that a picture of Anndrew Coulter before the plastic surgery?

Certainly seems to have about the same thought process, though I will give Anndrew credit of being able to construct a proper paragraph of steaming hateful bullshit.

[Zero Division]

66. Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you...

the child of Betty Bowers and Vlad the Impaler.

[CrowNotAngelGRL]

92. LOL isn't it

the opposite? Hm... :think:

[pelagius]

In contrast, consider this...

...gracious and brilliant prayer proposed by a DUer before last night's debate:

"That both candidates would show their true character, those watching would be able to discern this, and choose between them with wisdom for the benefit of all of us."

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=104&topic_id=2433621&mesg_id=2433621&page=

[WoodrowFan]

21. that's wonderful!!!!

somebody on Yahoo post that in response!!!

[Bluebear]

80. Now THAT is a beautiful prayer!

[Malva Zebrina]

18. Continue to use the US as a weapon ?????

in Your Hand for the protection of Israel"

cool--ain't it nice?

These are the people who are the true anti-semitic racists.

According to their beliefs, Jews will be slaughtered in a holocaust such as has never been seen before, except for 140,000 of them who would have been converted to Christianity.

Yet, they profess to love the Jews.

[Renew Deal]

19. This person needs a long vacation

Away from the TV.

[BootinUp]

27. notice how the pronouns ref Bush are capitalized

as if He is in the new holy axis of the Trinity or something. How demented is that?

[Rose Siding]

35. That's a dead give away

He is also their deity.

[nonconformist]

60. That was my first thought too.

:scared:

[HFishbine]

29. "Become His voice at the next debate"

Bush will damn sure pick up a few undecideds if he starts speaking in tongues at the next debate. Oh, wait. Never mind.

----
Side note, I know pronouns for God are capitalized, but read this:

I ask that You become His voice at the next debate, that You inspire the Holy Spirit to breathe Your words into His mouth, that YOUR talking points are known.

Who is Bush and who is God in that sentence, or are they truly interchangeable in the minds of some now?

[eurolefty]

30. It would be so perfect...

Bush speaking in tongues, channeling "God's talking points", foam coming from his mouth. Oooh. I really do hope it happens.

The right wing desperation is just too much for me! I can't stop grinning like an idiot.:evilgrin:

[CrowNotAngelGRL]

94. That'd be like a scary

new version of the "Exorcist" Bush style. Heh heh.

[liberalhistorian]

32. No, God's talking points are that people who

are hungry need to be fed, people who are homelesss need to be housed, people without health care or insurance need to be taken care of without worrying about losing what little they have left to pay for it and that doctors actually have to treat people regardless of who they are and how much money they have, people without jobs need retraining and employment without fear of gazillionaire CEO's taking their jobs overseas so that they can fatten their obese wallets even more, the earth and the environment need to be taken care of despite the howling of the polluters, etc., etc., etc.

[WoodrowFan]

34. didn't you get the memo

according to the RNC the 25th chapter of Matthew has been banned as "commie propaganda" and should be removed from your King James ASAP./

[pelagius]

36. AMEN! n/t

[BootinUp]

37. Well, if you eliminate the New Testament

then its harder to tell. Thats the way I see the fundies, they seem to have no understanding of the teachings of Christ.

[pelagius]

42. I disagree!

The hardest-hitting parts of the Bible when it comes to social justice are in what Christians call the Old Testament. The Prophets (Nevi'im) continually decry the oppression of the poor by the rich.

But I definitely agree that what the right-wingers practice doesn't have much to do with the Bible or Christianity!

[BootinUp]

47. I've forgotten more than I should have

about the Old Testament, but I did qualify my statement by saying "its harder to tell". I do think the Old Testament is easier to mis-interpret because of the many stories of cruel punishments and other seemingly contradictory messages which where reality in ancient times and civilizations.

[pelagius]

50. Agreed!

Many of the memorable parts of the Tanakh (Old Testament) date back to the Bronze age. Crazy stuff to the modern mind.

[liberalhistorian]

75. Amen to that!

The Psalms and Proverbs, ESPECIALLY Proverbs, are filled with variations of how those who ignore the cries and needs of the poor and those who oppress them to benefit themselves are the scum of the earth and will receive their just reward.

[CrowNotAngelGRL]

95. If they take out the New Testament

then they really wouldn't be Christian's would they? Since Christian's follow the teaching's of Christ which is in the New Testament. When Jesus died on the cross he took away the old testament laws. Maybe someone should send them a memo that if they don't follow the teaching's of Christ and his example then they aren't really Christian's. :eyes: http://www.liberalslikechrist.org
:bounce:

[Rose Siding]

33. They capitalized pronouns as though Bush were God.

This was written by a Kristian imposter.

[yardwork]

38. Note the name of the poster - reference James Meredith

Bio is here - very important! I keep saying that Jesse Helms's old operatives are a big part of the Rove machine. They're closely connected with Elizabeth and Bob Dole as well.

http://www.wordiq.com/definition/James_Meredith

James Howard Meredith (born June 25, 1933) is an American civil rights movement figure.

He was born in Kosciusko, Mississippi of Native American (Choctaw) and African American heritage. Meredith enlisted in the United States Air Force right out of high school and served from 1951 to 1960. He then attended Jackson State College for two years.

In 1962 he became the first black student at the University of Mississippi after being barred from entering on September 20. His enrollment, opposed by Governor Ross Barnett, required federal troops to enforce and led to a violent clash which left two people dead, 48 soldiers injured and 30 U.S. Marshals with gun wounds. His actions are regarded as a pivotal moment in the history of civil rights. He graduated on August 18, 1963.

He received an LL.B (law degree) from Columbia University in 1968.

He led a civil rights march, the "March Against Fear" from Memphis, Tennessee to Jackson, Mississippi in 1966 and was wounded by a sniper on June 6. As an author he wrote a memoir of this days at the University of Mississippi and several self-published books. He was an active Republican and served for several years as a domestic advisor on the staff of archconservative Senator Jesse Helms. In 2002, on the occasion of the 40th anniversary of his desegregation of the University of Mississippi, at the age of 69, he was the proprietor of a small used car lot in Jackson, Mississippi. On the celebration activities surrounding the 40th anniversary Meredith said, "It was an embarrassment for me to be there, and for somebody to celebrate it, oh my God."

James Meredith views himself as an individual American citizen who demanded and got the rights properly extended to any American, not as a participant in the US civil rights movement. There is considerable disrespect between James Meredith and the organized Civil Rights Movement. Meredith said recently that "Nothing could be more insulting to me than the concept of civil rights. It means perpetual second-class citizenship for me and my kind".

In a recent interview for CNN, Meredith stated, "I was engaged in a war. I considered myself engaged in a war from Day One. And my objective was to force the federal government -- the Kennedy administration at that time -- into a position where they would have to use the United States military force to enforce my rights as a citizen."

[WoodrowFan]

39. um, maybe, but

she doesn't look that sophisticated. I'm guessing her real name is Meredith and that she went to ol Miss or is simply from Mississippi.

[rullery]

40. Note that they are praying for the RAPTURE to come quickly.

They are not interested in continuing to live in this world, but want to go to Heaven NOW! I'm a Christian myself, but not one of these radical ones. I believe we are intended to live our lives in this world, to do our best to live good lives here, by the Grace of God. Focusing so intently on the Rapture, which will come in God's own good time, takes the focus off of living in this world. Christians have been looking for the Rapture for some 2000 years now, and generation after generation have lived out their lives on this Earth. By what presumption do these folks imagine that their's is the one generation that is to be so blessed?

I note that their narrow agenda would force everybody to conform to their own peculiar notion of what is right, and condemn those who do not. This may seem a harsh suggestion, but these folks deserve it.
Since they are so ready to die, not unlike some Muslim extremists who are willing to blow themselves up, let them volunteer for military service in Iraq, their own president's war! They may get their wish to leave this world quickly; and given their radical agenda, perhaps the world will be better off without them!

[bloom]

65. There is that suicidal aspect

that I've always found very odd.

It's in so many hymns/songs. Like they are saying "kill me now" or something. I never did get that.

[Shopaholic]

84. I remember Richard Pryor used to do a routine

where he said you had to watch out for those "Double Muslims" because they were all in a hurry to see Allah and they didn't care who they took with them. These nuts are no different.

[KayLaw]

41. Okey Dokey

Tell me if I'm wrong ( which I often am ) but doesn't John Kerry go to a Christian church? Why would this person hope so desperately for God to help Bush rather than John Kerry? Does God, like the people who post on Free Public and listen to Rush, prefer men who were too busy drinking alcohol, using cocaine, and getting illegal abortions for their girlfriend to fulfill their obligations to their country, or, hmm.. could it be Bush is promising tax dollars to some of these " Churches?" No, not that. Never.

[Bluebear]

46. A lot of fundies don't consider Catholics Christian

The Chick tract lunatics.

[BootinUp]

49. funny, since thats where it all started. -eom

[Shopaholic]

85. I saw someone on a non-political board say the other day that

Kerry couldn't win because he was Catholic and that Americans didn't want to be led by someone who wasn't a Christian. :eyes:

[CrowNotAngelGRL]

96. Catholics are consider's

to be Christian's. It's just a seperate branch off of the orginial ways in the first century back with Jesus. It's like with Presbeteryian's, Southern Baptist's, Baptist's, Church of God, Church of Christ, Methodist's. I could go on... :bounce:

[pelagius]

53. Catholics, Episcopalians, mainline Protestants...

... that hold "liberal" views, like not every word of the Bible is literally true, are not true Christians according to these defenders of the faith.

Most of them probably don't even know about the Eastern Orthodox, but would cast them out, too, if they did.

[deckerd]

58. "No. Not. Never!"

"We must get the RAPTURE, Preciouss, we must get it back!"

"Patience, my love. First, we must lead them to... Iraq!

And once they go in... there's no coming out..."

[bloom]

43. "to breathe Your words into His mouth, that YOUR talking points are known"

This was the line that made me think it was satire - but maybe not.

At any rate - if "God's talking points were known" - Bush* wouldn't be in office - and somebody like Kucinich would be the next president.

At least that's the way I see it and I'm really surprised that more "Christians" don't.

[mzmolly]

44. "Rapture ready"

:eyes:

They'd best be with * in office.

[pelagius]

48. They think Armageddon is a GOOD thing

It's always important to remember that this crew believes that the entire world must be on the battlefield and the earth nearly destroyed before Jesus can come rescue them. They're so anxious to see Jesus they will do anything they can to bring about Armageddon.

[CrowNotAngelGRL]

97. Hm what if it happens

and Jesus doesn't show up? :bounce:

[Kimber Scott]

52. If it's "God's plan" Bush run this country into the ground and it's "God's

plan" Bush fulfill His Middle Eastern prophecy then why do these people have to beg God to let Bush do it? Hmmmmm???

I don't like mindless people.

I think "God" said something like if there is a stick in your eye, take it out. Bush is a big stick in the eyes of this country and the world. He does not deserve re-election. If these people want him so bad, they should go start their own country and let him run it. They could call it "Bushtown," or something. I'll donate the Kool-Aid.

[Selwynn]

54. Sometimes I'm ashamed of my faith.

[BootinUp]

57. sh*t, that happened to me

a long damn time ago. lol.

[Selwynn]

59. I don't mean I'm ashamed to personally have faith, I mean...

...i'm ashamed to be identified along side others as a person of faith...

[BootinUp]

61. I understood you perfectly.

really. :)

[Cheswick2.0]

70. sorry to hear that Jim

[Cheswick2.0]

69. it's a joke Selwynn

This is someones idea of a joke. See how funny it is? Because of the rapture part some are even suggesting the person kill him/herself.

[The_Casual_Observer]

63. Give this fucker a gun to put between his lips to deliver his "rapture"

and we will all be better off.

[tanyev]

64. I too am ready for their rapture.

What's taking so long???

[Cheswick2.0]

67. This is not a very funny joke

Did you write this yourself?

[Bluebear]

79. I assure you I am an agnostic New Englander

This kind of babbling is totally foreign to me. I've seen this "prayer" many times and what strikes me is they put "emergency" after the debates last night.

[Cheswick2.0]

89. it's not real

[tnliberaldemocrat]

71. This Christian prays every day..

that Bush and his cronies are thrown out of office and then into prison for their crimes against humanity.

[SammyWinstonJack]

72. So glad I don't buy into this religion crap!

:eyes:

[bloom]

73. Before you know it - she'll have her own TV/radio show

and be more successful than Limbaugh, Pat Robertson, Falwell, and Coulter put together.

[ScreamingMeemie]

74. Perhaps this is Ms. "HEZBOLLAH!!!!!"

:hi:

[Heath.Hunnicutt]

76. Replied to in their own terminology. :)

A little of a stretch for my actual beliefs, but I remember how to talk their talk. ;)

[Nimble_Idea]

78. LOL-We are RAPTURE ready, come Lord Jesus! We are RAPTURE ready, come Lord

We are RAPTURE ready, come Lord Jesus! We are RAPTURE ready, come Lord Jesus! We are RAPTURE ready, come Lord Jesus! Say amen, say amen!!!!

lol

[footinmouth]

82. Poor God

I hope he can find the time in between hurricanes and volcanic eruptions to write up some CliffNotes for W.

[Ellen Forradalom]

83. God has talking points?

Isn't that a bit demeaning to the Unerring Word of the Lord?

[dave123williams]

87. What kind of an idiot would pray to be used as a weapon by God?

I mean, what the hell? These are the kind of people who believe ANGELS watch over them...I wonder; do they belive in GOBLINS too? What about TROLLS? I know; LEPRECHAUNS are at home, looking after my stuff...

Nothing funnier to me than people who pray to an *invisible man* who will unleash eternal torture and hellfire on you if you don't believe in his infinite love.

[CrowNotAngelGRL]

88. LOL and the replies

there are hilarious too. None of them are liking Bush and stuff. :bounce:

[Lefta Dissenter]

91. I was talking to a friend yesterday

who has been 'praying' that the rapture will happen before the election, because that will leave a lot of us good Democratic voters behind to vote on November 2! :D