Kerry's French-made Secret Debating Decoder Pen

[zulchzulu]

John Kerry may have been using the French-made pen "Le Stylo Secret de Debat 500ZX Pro edition" for the first debate.

The way it works is that what appears to be a simple fountain pen is indeed a major accomplishment in secret debating tools for the 21st Century.

There are programmable buttons that are on the pen that interface with a wireless LED contact lens that is worn by the pen user.

With this pen, you can search Google for answers, have the pen write pre-programmed talking points, operate an overhead camera that spies on your opponent's debate notes, a signal squelcher that interrupts earpiece signals worn by your opponent, a thought process scrambler to paralyze your opponent and even a button that accelerates time on your opponent's time clock.

No wonder Kerry won!

[Roland99]

1. LMAO!!

[Inland]

2. "Le Stylo Secret", incroyable! nt

[incapsulated]

3. lol

Well done. Well done. :) :thumbsup:

(I think the time accelerator button is my favorite.)

[skordane]

4. Kerry's Proposed Weapon to Fight Terrorists

The secret spitballl launcher that Zell Miller talked about.

[Fluffdaddy]

5. The Freepers bloggers are beside themselves.

Looking for anything that would explain why their guy looked like an idiot

[My Pet Goat]

6. LOL..how much do one of these things cost??

Using the Teresa Heinz fortune to buy one of these things (they don't come cheap) was no doubt another unfair advantage.

[zulchzulu]

7. Secret Debate Pen cost about 40,000 francs

No Euros allowed...

[ZombieNixon]

15. He used his cut from the Bush tax cut

Ahh, Dubya, how thy plans doth return and bite thee in thine ass.

[zulchzulu]

29. ....

[discopants]

8. Excellent!

Can we have permission to send/copy/paste this image? Puuuuu-lleeeeeeeeeeeeezzzzzz??

[zulchzulu]

9. Distribute everywhere!!!

The French want to sell more of these evil pens.

[discopants]

10. Ha!

The moment some wingnut posts the Drudge piece on the other forums I visit (they will), this little slice of genius is going to make me a hero. I'm laughing already!

[AspenRose]

11. I want one!

Everyone at DU should have one for those spur-of-the-moment debates with freepers.

[gatorboy]

12. Yes!! The French need to sell these pens to feed their children!!

Thanks to O'Reilly, their economy is down the tubes!!!

http://www.parisbusinessreview.com/

[Carolinian]

13. Aha! Just as I thought!

[trogdor]

14. Does it also slow time down?

I could swear Chimpy was trying desperately to stretch his spiel to fill the two minutes - at least twice.

[zulchzulu]

19. Time De-celerator model should be coming out this week

The engineers are finishing up the last kinks to that. They know they can stretch the deadline if need be.

[Bongo Prophet]

16. Brilliant!

It is truly James Bond vs. Yosemite Sam!
"Damn you Bond, Ya Varmint! Got me agin!!"

[Endangered Specie]

17. Ah! hahahah! lol!

[Terran]

18. Mon Dieu!

M. Kerry est formidable et tres intelligent!

[zulchzulu]

20. Some freeper on a forum thought this was true

Dimwits for Chimpy...

[theorist]

25. Got a link to that? n/t

[zulchzulu]

31. Check out here

http://forums.craigslist.org/?forumID=20&areaID=1

I hate how this forum has threads fly through. Do a search. Plenty of freepers to get disgusted by.

[jefferson_dem]

21. LOL! Dude, priceless!

Cheers!

[lasttrip]

22. cool. i want one.

[Dob Bole]

23. LOL....the only thing missing is that it can't decode Polish!!!

nt

[mzmolly]

24. ROTFLMAO!

Send this to the media! :hi:

[Jacobin]

26. Awesome

Brilliant. I hope you send it to Keith Olberman.

I'm tellin' ya...he'd show it. He really would

[TrustingDog]

27. Let's hope this story doesn't get any ink!

[Jacobin]

28. A kick for the Kerry Secret Decoder Debating Pen

[pacalo]

30. LOL, that's awesome.

[htuttle]

32. That's better than the pen that Napolean Solo had!

[SheWhoMustBeObeyed]

33. I got mine on eBay!

That's a great graphic, ZZ. Seriously, you should post it as an eBay auction - it'd be hilarious. :D

[zulchzulu]

35. Please post on eBay

i don't go there but you are welcome to raise a stink about it...:->

[LoZoccolo]

34. Nominated.

Good job. :thumbsup:

[zulchzulu]

36. Gracias!

I'm going to do an audio ad or something about the pen tomorrow.

Merci!

[Skinner]

37. That's great.

Thanks for posting it!

[democracy eh]

38. lovin' it

I want one
:bounce:

[Chiyo-chichi]

39. Using that kind of pen.....

....is HARD WORK.