Fox: "Bush Tries Out New Jokes" in Wilkes-Barre, Pa campaign speech

[Bush_Eats_Beef]

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,134756,00.html

President Bush's campaign stop Wednesday was one part political stem-winder and one part late-night comedy monologue. "My opponent is one of the few candidates in history to campaign on a pledge to raise taxes. (Laughter) And that's the kind of promise a politician from Massachusetts usually keeps," Bush said at an event in Wilkes-Barre, Pa.

"But to be fair, he's earned a special distinction in Congress. The nonpartisan National Journal analyzed his record and named John Kerry the most liberal member of the United States Senate. (Boo) And when the competition includes Ted Kennedy, that's really saying something. (Laughter and applause) I'm telling you, I know that bunch. (Laughter) It wasn't easy for my opponent to become the single most liberal member of the Senate. You might even say, it was hard work. (Laughter and applause.)

"My opponent says he has a plan for Iraq. Parts of it should sound pretty familiar — it's already known as the Bush plan." On the vice presidential debate: "America saw two very different visions of our country, and two different hairdos." And on the first presidential debate, where cameras caught Bush grimacing during some of Kerry's answers: "He said terrorists are pouring across the Iraqi border, but also said that fighting those terrorists is a diversion from the War on Terror. (Laughter) You hear all that and you can understand why somebody would make a face." (Laughter and applause)

[WI_DEM]

1. To which Kerry should reply (re taxes)

The president and I got our tax reief. What about you? What I've seen is health care cost sky rocketing, gas prices climbing, home heating fuel will be 17% higher this winter. And what about our children? Look at this huge deficit the president has left them to pay for. The president quips that tax hikes are typical of politicians from Massachusetts, I would argue that, but the record shows that if you elect a president named Bush you lose jobs, you lose health care coverage and the next democratic president has to dig us out of massive debt.

[okieinpain]

37. he doesn't want to say it like that. this sounds like a tax increase

kerry shouldn't even mention the word taxes. that is about the only hope for repugs is to use the tax word.

[LynnTheDem]

2. Sure a lot of bald-faced LIES in there

Can't be easy getting that many LIES into one speech.

Deceitful, dirty, corrupt, dishonest.

Oh and bush, that little trick of lying to the media, telling them you wanted to make a PRESIDENTIAL POLICY speech, but in reality gave a stump speech???

ILLEGAL.

Impeachable offense.

You're a crook, bush. A small-time little thug.

[uncle ray]

17. amazingly, NPR called him on it

they reported it for what it really was, a stump speech disguised as a major policy speech, and in turn played a long soundbite of a weekend Kerry speech. if * stopped trying so damn hard he might have a chance! i expect Kerry is going to nail him big ime on it tomorrow. people are noticing * cheney it up this time.

[katusha]

3. he still won't take responsibility

"He said terrorists are pouring across the Iraqi border, but also said that fighting those terrorists is a diversion from the War on Terror. (Laughter) You hear all that and you can understand why somebody would make a face."


jeebus! now he is trying to make kerry responsible for his petuleant manner. what a slime.

[Texas_Dem]

4. Shrub laughs and jokes while Baghdad burns and Americans die.

Sorry sack of shit.

[LittleClarkie]

20. I loved that political cartoon someone had

of the GOP Eliphant operatives trying to get people to laugh at Kerry with a dead soldier laying there. "Pay no attention to him"

Sorry bastards.

[fishnfla]

26. right on man

this is the new terrorism policy?

HORSEHOCKEY!

[durablend]

29. Of course * is laughing

"Long as me or my family isn't over there, pffft...whocares"

[madrchsod]

5. preview of friday night

bush is going to use humor to get his points across. why else would he be practicing to be funny?

[Catfight]

18. Kerry needs to remind him he's the war president, not the good humor man.

[KharmaTrain]

31. I Agree

He's gonna think this is Oprah or Springer...ya know, yuk it up with the crowd...turn on the ole "Crawford" charm and sound "sincere".

You know Frau Hughes is drilling him over and over on how to stand and where to look and don't smirk this time. The boy's ass still must be red from messing up last week.

I saw most of that Wilke-Barre stand-up routine and it was kinda scary to watch. It was like he was hoping for approval from his own handpicked audience...deliberatly pausing at the laugh lines and looking around for even more.

What's amazing is we're seeing a repeat of what hurt Poppy in '92...being framed as disconnected...that the manchild is doing and his handlers are just feeding it even more. If they pull this shit off, I'm gonna have to take a very, very, very long vacation.

[Cha]

35. They won't ..so you can forget about

your vacation!:D

[KharmaTrain]

36. May We Both Party On Nov. 2

Thanks for the encouragement...I feel some real good things starting to happen.

Cheers!

[mahina]

40. He'll land flat on his face without an audience if that is his intention.

Nothing sadder than a comic waiting for a laugh in a silent room.
Other than the suffering he's caused.

[donco6]

41. Kerry should stay dead-on serious.

Bush will look even more like a lightweight. I think people are beyond laughing about the situation.

[venus]

6. A pitiful attempt to try and make Kerry get his gander up.

Hope we don't fall for it. How un Presidential.

[crispini]

34. Um... I think you meant

dander, not gander. :)

[Supersedeas]

7. Jokes as a substitute for lack of substance-'Merica is so fortunate

[Beetwasher]

8. "The President Thinks He's Hosting a Late Night Talk Show

Running this country is not a joke Mr. Bush. I don't think the thousands of soldiers you sent to their deaths based on your lies or millions of people without health insurance would appreciate your joking about these matters...They're not funny and neither are you..."

We now know what Bush is going to do tomorrow. He's going to pretend like he's the host of the Tonight Show and try to ridicule Kerry. Kerry should handle it similarly to what I wrote above.

[sandnsea]

10. Exactly

And I suspect they will.

[JI7]

43. that's just what i was thinking

remember when bush laughed at soldiers dying over wmd that couldn't be found? he is seriously a cold hateful bastard.

[HFishbine]

9. I'll give 10 to 1 odds

Bush tries some variation of these "jokes" tomorrow night and screws them up.

[Bush_Eats_Beef]

16. "Fool me once, shame on you. You fool me, you can't get fooled again"

Listen to the audio clip of that classic on "Dubyaspeak.com"...

http://www.dubyaspeak.com/audio.shtml

http://mp3.dubyaspeak.com/foolmeonce.mp3

There's an old saying in Tennessee -- I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee -- that says, fool me once -- shame on -- shame on you. You fool me, you can't get fooled again.
-- Dubya attempting to co-opt Texas and Tennessee into his verbal wreckage. The saying he was trying to dredge up was "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." Even better, Dubya was speaking at a literature magnet school. I'm sure it was a learning experience for the kids. East Literature Magnet School, Nashville, Tennessee, Sep. 17, 2002

:evilgrin:

[CarolynEC]

11. Crybaby runs home to someplace safe...

... then tells everyone how tough he was facing John Kerry.

What a ridiculous little excuse of a man.

Attention, "security moms." If you're looking for a real man to keep you safe... Bush ain't the one.

[nostamj]

12. i'm STILL waiting for Kerry to call bush* out

for LAUGHING at the situation in Iraq!

how dare he use this misguided bloodbath as an excuse for LAUGHS at his pathetic speeches?

how dare his minions go along with it.

he should be BOOED and would be it his handlers didn't control the crowds.

sickening.

[Az_lefty]

13. Was this the big speech the WH was promising?

:shrug:

[zbdent]

14. I hope that someone really hits home with a question

that flusters him and throws his momentum off.

Fortunately with him, it's like this: If Bush were a Monster Truck, a pencil line on a flat piece of paved highway could still rip the undercarriage from him.

(Old Michael Keaton reference on the 80s homeless aid comedy shows: "I got a Yugo. I was riding along, and I hit a bump and nearly went through the roof! I looked back, and there was a worm in the middle of the road. And it was still trying to get to the other side!")

[leftofthedial]

15. Thank you. I'll be here for four more weeks

Don't forget to tip the brownshirts on your way out

[Bush_Eats_Beef]

24. "Don't forget to try the shrimp cocktail"...LMAO

He's kind of like the old Bill Murray SNL "Lounge Lizard" character, isn't he?

:evilgrin:

[leftofthedial]

32. wow

more like that than I care to even contemplate

[slappypan]

33. "Star Wars ... nothing but Star Wars ...

those near and far wars, please don't let them end!"

[slappypan]

19. The King of Comedy

Has the entire nation tied up in his basement, trying to force us to laugh at his material.

[The Chronicler]

21. He's the biggest joke of all (nm)

[MatrixEscape]

22. Caption for the pic:

A Staffer yells out: "Use the zipper Mr. President! You are not wearing a pullover!"

[On the Road]

23. I Hope, I Hope, I Hope

Bush pulls out some snarky joke at the debate. It played to his base, but will hurt him with undecided voters.

Kerry created a good impression in the first debate, even on people who are not completely comfortable with him yet. Snarky jokes about people who have made a good impression on you do NOT go over well. It sounds petty and mean, which plays right into Bush's weaknesses in the first debate.

[donco6]

42. I agree.

If Kerry resists the temptation for personal attacks, while Bush indulges, it makes him look petty, small and mean. Kerry just needs to do exactly what he did in the first: display command of the facts, command of the tone and command of the floor.

[RUDUing2]

25. consider the source..this is the same *man* (M

(and I put that in parenthethis cause I hate to insult half of the human race by using that term for him) that found the execution of Carla Faye Tucker a source of amusement...
Kerry should remind him that the reason there are terrorist in Iraq is because we invaded Iraq instead of concentrating on Afghanistan, otherwise there would not be any terrorist in Iraq.

[Contrary1]

27. An Insult to Rodney Dangerfield...

but fine by me, if Bush wants to do stand-up comedy routines.
The time he spends rehearsing his jokes is less time spent on
rehearsing the line of BS for tomorrow's debate.
:nuke:

[Z_I_Peevey]

28. Note to Bush:

Go with the tried-and-true laugh getter in the next debate. You know, the joke you just *killed* with before your GOP audiences. I'm sure it will be the same knee-slapper it has always been.

Tell that Trifecta joke one more time. Please.

[Bongo Prophet]

30. Will Friday's "town hall" allow laughter/applause/hooting?

Bush will fall flat without the adulation.
Humor, all the more! Cue the crickets.


When Powell told Bush about the Pottery Barn rule, "You break it, you OWN it."
Bush said "Goody!"
Cheney mumbled in best fat Mr. Burns/Potter fashion, "Egggsellent..."


And lastly, I didn't know Kerry was using the "Bush Plan!"
Does this mean he will lie to us and invade Iraq again, screw it up badly, torture suspects and deny that anything is amiss?
I did not know that.:evilgrin:

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

38. I'm glad I won't be in the audience

I'm sure I would break out in uncontrollable laughter even before the Chimp opens his mouth. I'd have to be escorted to the door.

[fugop]

39. Fuzzy facts, fuzzy facts, fuzzy facts

I hope Kerry hammers home that Bush can't run on his record, since it's crap, and he can't run on his vision, since I haven't heard one interesting new idea for the next four years, so instead, he relies on massive distortions and crappy jokes. Break the "fuzzy math" phrase out of mothbells and throw it in Bush's face. I'm so tired of the lies, and I so want to believe the voters are, too.

[vinnievin777]

44. Wow

He has a gift for comedy and distortion. He is probably as funny as Dennis Miller. No wait he is funnier because the only one who laughs at Dennis Miller's jokes are Dennis Miller. Actually his whole presidency is a joke.
And they wonder why I call them retardicans.
Vinnie
http://www.vinnievin.com