From the Stillwater Gazette: Senator Sue Doe Kristian

[dflprincess]

http://www.stillwatergazette.com

VIEWPOINTS, Stillwater Gazette, Friday, March 11, 2005

‘Pointless, idiotic’ legislation the ticket to GOP super stardom

(Author’s note: The Stillwater Gazette is pleased to welcome Sen. Sue Doe Kristian to the pages of this publication. The senator is a prominent Minnesota Legislator who represents the “new breed” of politicians that are taking control of our state and nation.) Author’s note: Sen. Sue Doe Kristian does not really exist. She was made up by Gazette columnist Bill Prendergast for satirical purposes, and any resemblance to any actual person in our state government is entirely in your own mind.

“Sue Doe Kristian” Guest Commentary

My core constituents know that I’m in there making sure that all their irrational fear, bigotry and hatred is being well represented in St. Paul by yours truly.

Hi! It’s me! Hello from the state Capitol! Do you love Jesus? Well, you better, because he loves you. Yes, even you Jews and gays. It’s true!

Since this column is supposed to be a sort of “get-to-know-me” kind of thingie, I decided to give you a little info about myself and my policies in a “question –and-answer” format.

Dear Senator Sue: I applaud your stand on protecting moral values. Keep up the good work!

Well, what a nice beginning to a Q-and-A session! Thank you! As we all know from the last election, protecting “moral values” is a top priority for me and my party (the Republican Party). The GOP is the party of family values and moral values. That’s why I support my party and its current leader, Gov. Tim Pawlenty, because we are the part of morality, pledged to keep vice away from Minnesota families.

Dear Senator Sue: How are Gov. Pawlenty and the “party of moral values” going to resolve Minnesota’s budget deficit?

By bringing in casino gambling. We’re going to start exploiting the disease of local gambling addicts and the incomes of their co-dependent family members. Then we’ll use the suckers’ family milk money to finance our own deficit spending, so we can borrow still more and go even deeper into the red. Next question please.

[CatholicEdHead]

1. That about sums it up

[KitchenWitch]

2. wow

I am speechless.

[no name no slogan]

3. Brilliant

Funny how no communties have put up bids for Da Guv's new casino, huh?

:shrug:

[Demrock6]

4. That is cool.

[Berserker]

5. That was great

Stillwater Rules!

[MnFishhead]

6. Send your own letters to the Stillwater Gazette

They need to hear from folks who liked that piece of prose. The Gazette is Bachmann's hometown newspaper. Their e-mail address is: [e-mail]

Send letters to other papers in Bachmann's district:
St. Croix Valley Press: [e-mail]
Forest Lake Times: [e-mail]
Scandia Country Messenger: [e-mail]

Probably wouldn't hurt to send letters to the St. Cloud Daily Times to start educating people on the other end of the 6th District about their congresswoman-wannabe: [e-mail]