BAR's spoof press release--I fell for it (check the date)

[cosmik debris]

Austin, Texas

August 18, 2056 TxDOT-Zachry Farming Plans Announced

TxDOT-Zachry announced hearings today for its newest transportation project at a press conference in Rockwall. The announcement followed the end of a long-running legal battle between TxDOT-Zachry and Rockwall County. The smallest county in Texas officially lost its battle over the last 5 percent of its green space to eminent domain proceedings as the fifth Trans-Texas Corridor interchange is slated to pave over the last open land in an area once known for its green vistas. Officials predicted an ending date in 13 years for this fifth of the original eight TTC projects, which, with cost overruns and inflation, has cost 12.3 trillion dollars. No completion date for the remaining three projects has been announced.
TxDOT-Zachry introduced the "Big Planters," or "BP project" at its permanent office in the Texas Capitol.

"Soil importation from Spain begins next year," said Teddy Smith, TxDOT-Zachry director of communications, describing the multi-billion dollar project to import farming soil from the Zachry Ag-Tex subsidiary based in Valencia. "TxDOT will fill these giant concrete planters with soil to replace the original Blackland Prairie, once some of the richest farmland in the United States, that was buried under the estimated fifty trillion tons of TTC concrete throughout the state. New farming operations to harvest crops from the giant concrete planters lining the tollways will serve as the source of farmland substitutes for the millions of acres displaced over the last 50 years. Artificial trees will absorb 93% of the pollutants produced by the estimated fifty trucks that daily use the Trans-Texas corridor."
Details for an air concession agreement have not been finalized, although TxDOT-Zachry has begun studying the toll rate methodology for how toll rates of such air will be set. Tolls will be set at fair market prices. "If it is too expensive, breathers are free not to not use that air," said Smith. TxDOT-Zachry has an exclusive, no-bid contract with itself to purchase air options throughout its corridor, and to obtain all needed air rights through eminent domain once the Tier 2 planning phase begins.

"The construction contract for the massive concrete enclosures used in the Big Planters project, and the transfer of millions of acres of soil, after considerable independent study, has been awarded to Cintra-Zachry, which has announced that the project will be completed by 2107.

The project will be funded with tolls levied on farmers who enter the corridor to harvest the crops and on ranchers who graze their livestock on TxDOT-Zachry planter rangeland.

When asked about pricing for agricultural products produced in the corridor, Smith pointed out that the price of a bushel of wheat remains what it was in 2006, which was within pennies of the price of wheat in the late 1940's. When asked about the plight of farmers, who now pay $1.1 million for a tractor, and ranchers, who are suffering from an extended 65-year drought, Texas Governor Jim Zachry replied through his chief spokesman, Bill Zachry: "It's traditional in Texas to have our farmers receive compensation at WWII era prices and for ranchers to tough it out. In Texas we're strong on tradition and proud of our farming and ranching heritage. Always have been. Always will be."

Environmental impact hearings will be scheduled throughout Texas concerning the Big Planters 50-year plan. With interest waning in environmental impact because concrete rights of way now cover much of the non-residential, non-commercial land in the state, the hearings have been consolidated into one meeting, scheduled for Labor Day at the Breakfast Nook inside the I-35 corridor rest stop in Rockwall, between northbound trucking lanes 75 and 76. A specially reduced toll of ten dollars per person will allow entry to the rest stop and participation in the hearings. No comments or public input are being solicited at this time.

Directions: Enter the tollway at the nearest on-ramp for Rockwall, Z-89739-a-83b, located 25 miles west of Fort Worth. Participants may rent a bicycle or purchase a ticket for the "express people mover." Total distance from the on-ramp to the rest stop is 55 miles. Travel time from the Rockwall on-ramp to the Rockwall Rest Stop is approximately six hours.

[sonias]

1. Thanks for this cosmik

I got her e-mail today too and was just so busy I filed it away without reading it. She had sent a real one prior to this and I thought I had just gotten two copies but I see now their wittiness. Bravo Bar! You cosmik debris get brownie points for paying close attention today.

Here's what she said earlier:

Radnofsky addresses hearing in Rockwall
August 18, 2006


Democratic nominee for the U.S. Senate Barbara Ann Radnofsky met with concerned citizens, the advanced Project Development Director of the Texas Turnpike Authority Division Dieter Blick, listened to the testimony of Rockwall residents and other speakers, and gave testimony against the Trans Texas Corridor Thursday evening at the Freshman Center August 17 in Rockwall. She remains in Rockwall for two additional days of study, discussions, and receptions for her U.S. Senate campaign, as she reached her 480th campaign trip.
"Rockwall certainly has a big voice for the smallest Texas county, and the impassioned objections of its citizens should be heeded," Radnofsky said.

"Why are we undertaking a project which, if finished in fifty years, will be obsolete, with no studies as to the modes of transportation we'll actually be using at that time? Why are we trying to fund private, massive profits for foreign corporations, paid for by tolls that are charged to the public, on roads that will be tolled forever?

"The reason is not science, technology, traffic congestion, or public need. The reason is generating profit for private companies. Texas lacks the money to finance such a project, and no thinking taxpayer would willingly fund it. TxDOT claims and concedes that Texas lacks the resources, the tools, to fund the estimated 184 billion dollars the project will supposedly cost. The vast majority of the toll money collected will end up in the pockets of foreign corporations.

"Why does Texas lack the money for highways and public transit development, and rail? Why are communities pitted against each other, fighting for scarce federal highway dollars generated by our gas tax dollars?

"The answer: Texas leaders want to fuel private schemes proposed by their big donors and can only justify wasteful private companies reaping huge profits at our expense, charging Texas drivers tolls to pay for private profits if they have an expensive proposal and no money to find it. It's a perfect storm of circumstances, since we Texans donate nearly ten cents of every gas tax dollar from Texas to the rest of the country. Now, TxDOT can rightly claim that Texas is underfinanced for our transporation dollars, giving statewide elected officials a convenient excuse to turn to private financing. The lack of public money has been used to justify a boondoggle project to utilize private industry, to be repaid with money out of the pockets of ordinary Texans.

"My opponent voted for PL 109-59 which left Texas taxpayers as net donors to the rest of the country, funding Alaskan bridges to nowhere, giving Alaskans 1500 dollars per person in transportation money, while Texans received 36 dollars, ranking 49th overall. The same law championed by my opponent also tolls projects in express lanes, tolls on HOV faciltities, and tolls on highways, bridges, and tunnels on our interstate highway system.

"The TTC toll system will not be traditional tolling to pay for the road. Drivers will be automatically billed monthly and their bill payments will forever benefit the private companies profiting from construction and concessions. Communities will be split like an apple cleaved through, and trucks won't need to stop outside the corridor since rest stops and restaurants and the like are all planned inside the zone.

"Texas can't afford it, so the government has sold us down the river to pay tolls and give up our land and fork over existing freeways to the biggest land grab, corrupt privatization scheme and taxpayer ripoff in history," Radnofsky continued.

"In fifty plus years, TTC construction will be reportedly still underway with 2006 era toll-way plans, as mass transit and energy technology prepare for the 22nd century."

Sonia

[cosmik debris]

2. The joke was on me

When I got to the point about importing soil from Spain I was so angry I almost threw my computer against the wall.

From now on, when BAR sens out a press release, I will read a little closer!

[cosmik debris]

3. Zach fights back, but BAR gets the last laugh!

Houston, Texas

August 20, 2006 Zachry Construction Complains to Radnofsky Campaign

Vicky Waddy, spokeswoman for Zachry Construction, the highway construction giant whose family members and political action committee constitute one of Sen. Hutchison's largest contributors, complained to Democratic nominee for U.S. Senate Barbara Ann Radnofsky over Radnofsky's coverage of the company in press releases concerning the Trans-Texas Corridor.
Radnofsky's campaign manager Seth Davidson explained: "Zachry Construction called and was extremely upset. They demanded to know 'What is the purpose of using the Zachry name in your campaign release? And, what is the reference to Rockwall--we don't even have any projects in Rockwall right now.'"

Radnofsky, returning from three days in Rockwall, where she and other citizens turned out in force for the last Trans-Texas Corridor public hearing, responded to Zachry:

"Zachry Construction Company received $987,436,908 from TxDOT in contracts, ranking second in money contracts awarded between January, 2001 and December, 2004. The Zachry family and the Zachry PAC donated massively to my opponent, who voted for tolling projects in the federal highway bill and who has spoken publicly about wanting to build the Trans-Texas Corridor. She's wrong. We don't need this corrupt, wasteful, highway tolling project. We need a modern transportation policy for Texas and a free highway system.

"Sen. Hutchison should return the many thousands of dollars she has received during this election cycle from Zachry-related interests, and the even larger amounts she received from other entities standing to benefit from the Trans-Texas Corridor."

The Radnofsky releases were sent in connection with the Rockwall hearing on the Trans-Texas Corridor, a 50-year plus project that creates eight massive toll roads cutting swaths throughout Texas, in large part by taking private land from citizens, by privatizing the core of the state's transportation system, and by tolling drivers to pay for the $183.5 billion project.

Radnofsky continued: "The concession contract I discussed in Rockwall, sections five and six of the Highway 130 project, for example, greatly favors the Cintra-Zachry team, which will receive the lion's share of profits. The negotiators for this contract quite literally gave away the farm--only it wasn't theirs to give.

"Texans cannot afford these corrupt concession contracts, negotiated in secret and planned across Texas on a scale that boggles the imagination, taking private property and taxing Texans with tolls for roads that will be obsolete by the time they are completed."

Zachry Construction's PAC, its individual members or employees or owners, and those individuals' immediate families rank #7 in donations to the Hutchison campaign, having given $25,600 during this election cycle. (Source: OpenSecrets.org).

The campaign press releases triggering Zachry's reaction are available at www.radnofsky.com.