The Laws of Thanksgiving (Capitol Annex)

[sonias]

Capitol Annex
"The Laws of Thanksgiving, 2008 Edition."

If you visit your local grocery store or Wal-Mart the night before Thanksgiving, the only canned green beans you’ll find will be "no salt added."

If you’ve got some wonderful, expensive, fragrant, designer candles in your living room or elsewhere in your home and have guests coming for Thanksgiving, you’ll always have one guests who complains about the smell and goes out and puts out all of the candles. If you are especially lucky, they’ll be so aggressive in blowing them out that they’ll scatter hot wax on the walls, carpet, tables and the dog if he happens to be nearby.

The more company you have coming for the holiday, the greater chance your oven, stove, or refrigerator will go out the day before Thanksgiving. (Submitted by a reader from McAllen)

If you are spending Thanksgiving with others, there is a very high likelihood that you’ll end up spending the holiday with someone who loves to chew with their mouth wide open and, perhaps, talk while their mouth is wide open. "Accidentally" toss a glass of water into their open mouth from across the table and blame it on a nervous tick, spasm, or mini-stroke.

If you serve rolls with Thanksgiving dinner, someone will ask, "what? No cornbread?" If you serve cornbread, someone will ask for a roll or a piece of bread.

If you serve wine with your Thanksgiving dinner and are having lots of family in, chances are at least one in-law will give you disapproving looks for serving booze. Spike his/her punch.

Don't forget to read the http://capitolannex.com/2006/11/22/the-laws-of-thanksgiving/">2006 and 2007 editions either.

:spray::rofl::spray::rofl:

Happy Thanksgiving Y'all!

Sonia

[sonias]

1. A 2007 classic

No matter how good your dressing is, someone will always announce that their mother’s/grandmother’s is better even though your recipe came from your grandmother. You can counter this by hiring the elderly lady from down the street to hide in a back bedroom and walk out in the middle of the Thanksgiving meal to fill a plate. Totally ignore her, and when someone asks, "who’s that," just reply: "Oh, that’s my Grandma." Her ghost shows up when people diss her stuffing recipe." After you say this, the elderly lady should make a ghost-noise. Make sure you pay slip the elderly lady a $50 for her services.

:rofl:


Sonia

[sonias]

2. A 2006 classic

Keep a small bottle of your favorite hard liquor in the spice cabinet in the kitchen. That way, when everyone in your house is in your kitchen trying to tell you how their mother used to cook whatever it is you’re cooking, you can take a swig for sanity preservation. And, if the extra cooks get on your nerves too much, you can smack them with the bottle.

:rofl:


Sonia

[cosmik debris]

3. They forgot the big one...

Toilet failures and backed up sewage lines always occur on holidays.

[WolverineDG]

4. Hee hee!

The one from McAllen made me want to ask "Dad is that you?" :rofl: Yup, that happened on more than on occasion at our house. One year the stove died & the next day, the fridge passed, in mourning. Our dishwasher, although distraught from losing its two best friends, was able to soldier on, dying only after the last Thanksgiving dish had been run through it.

dg

[sonias]

5. Holidays are killers!

Boy that was an expensive holiday DG. Having to replace the whole kitchen's appliances! Ouch!

But hey it's the one time you're allowed to wonder if you're really adopted. And to be thankful that as much as you love your family, you don't have to live with them anymore.

I kid, really. I love all of you (in case any of my family is reading this).

:grouphug:


Sonia

[WolverineDG]

6. I think the only thing that didn't go wrong that year

was the disposal backing up. :scared:

Yeah, I get along much better with my brothers now that we don't have to share a bathroom. :rofl:

:hug:

dg