If you lined up all the grains from a hand full of sand you would be

[Swede]

working for the Canadian government. A Dave Broadfoot quote.

[Canuckistanian]

1. I dreamed I was in the Senate making a speech....

When I awoke, I found that I WAS in the Senate making a speech.

Not sure if that was Dave Broadfoot, but a good quote.

[Hand]

2. Then there's the old Robert Bourassa joke...

"How do you make Robert Bourassa die of thirst?"

"Offer him two glasses of water."

:D