I'm leaving this forum, I'm VERY upset

[...of J.Temperance]

Thank you and Goodnight.

On edit: I should have added that my upset is specifically dealing with the UK Forum...I'm NOT upset by the other forums on Democratic Underground.

[crispini]

1. Why?

What happened?

[...of J.Temperance]

4. The people on the UK forum should realise why

If they think about it, they should know exactly WHY I'm upset with the UK forum. It's the little things you know, little things can mean A LOT to some people.

Not very often, but sometimes you post a one off, about something that means or meant a lot to you, something that meant a lot to you personally and something that was difficult to share in a public forum...and I should have just not even have posted that in hindsight.

[ecoflame]

6. No...no

You can't EXPECT someone to know why you're upset unless YOU say something! Come on! That's mind-reading basically.

[Brundle_Fly]

2. Sorry to hear it.

Take care.

[Brundle_Fly]

3. Sorry to hear it.

Take care.

[sweetheart]

5. Oh

What is it, please make your case, and don't expect me to run
a reserach project, can you put up links to what has damaged
thin skin?

[patdem]

7. I agree...I did a short search and the last post was all hugs and hellos

so if there is something under his/her skin in the UK forum I could not find it?

[...of J.Temperance]

10. That was before my John Peel thread was ALL but TOTALLY ignored

I do thank Swag, Lockdown and Non-Sociopath Skin though.

NONE of those other threads were important, that Peel thread was probably THE important thread...to me.

[sweetheart]

13. I really liked john peel

I wrote about liking him when he departed to be found on some
lost thread in the archives... so... i can't even find the thread,
on page 1 or two. I think i'll need to kick all your threads to the
top so you can sort things out for us and give us a link.

[Benbow]

14. This really annoys me - guess why I have not been on the UK forum recently

Go on, guess. I'll give you a clue - "I'd give all my tomorrows for a single yesterday". Another: jazz.

For the past three days, I have been glued to the American side of things, and even started praying for the people of New Orleans before Katrina made landfall.

Please get a sense of proportion. Nothing any of us says or does can make any difference to John Peel. But there are hundreds, possibly thousands, of ordinary people holding onto life and loved ones by their fingernails in Louisiana, Mississippi and Alabama - they need our thoughts, support, empathy. Wherever he is, Peel does not.

[...of J.Temperance]

16. 61 members of my family had to evacuate in Louisiana

So on my Mother's side, my actual family members have been caught up in that. So I know whats going on, because my flesh and blood are living it and going through it and some of them or even all of them might have lost their houses and most of their possessions.

I have been paying attention to that, and I've also had to deal with my Mother being in a COMPLETE state of despair and not knowing what to do for the best.

[Benbow]

17. I am sorry to hear that, and I guess that your preoccupation with Peel

is displacement.

On edit: nothing wrong with displacement - it is a coping strategy - but it isn't appropriate for me to share your displacement activity, if that is what it is.

[...of J.Temperance]

20. Okay, you're probably right, I'm probably NOT thinking straight

Maybe it's best I take a raincheck for a few days. Maybe I'm trying to comfort myself with someone I always found comforting.

[Taxloss]

21. This probably won't help, but:

you posted about Peel? I loved the man, and I'm sorry I missed your thread. I've just been preoccupied. Threads not receiving responses is not necessarily down to people ignoring them - For me it has just been a busy time and your thread didn't catch my eye.

[Benbow]

8. You've only just arrived, I seem to remember

[...of J.Temperance]

9. Everything was FINE until this evening

Nothing was wrong, things were going okay.

But John Peel meant A LOT to me, and before long that's going to end up on page two, perhaps it'll be on page two by tomorrow. That was very difficult for me to post, I can't even explain how difficult in words...but it hurt and I'm not expecting you to understand that.

[Benbow]

11. Hey, I used to listen to him under the bedclothes at my boarding school

but we do all have to move on. He made a very "good death" - didn't die slowly of some debilitating disease in a nursing home, going gaga - he was on holiday with his wife. He would want everyone to move on: enjoy music, remember the living, make a difference.

[...of J.Temperance]

12. Today would have been his birthday, thats why I posted the thing

...maybe I'll make a comment on the I.T. thread later, that's getting a far more popular thread.

I have moved on, but you know, on someones birthday, it's not like I've mentioned this previously, I posted it last night.

[Benbow]

15. Words fail me - I'm going back to see how living Americans are getting on

many of whom will be having birthdays around now - being evacuated on their birthday, losing their homes on their birthday, wading around with alligators and sewage and oil and red ants on their birthday.

Gaah - I am running out of patience.

[...of J.Temperance]

18. See above post and my 86 year old Grandmother was evacuated too

She's probably got alligators, chemicals, oil and fire ants, plus feet and feet of water and raw sewerage surrounding her house right now.

I'm going for a while, I can feel myself rapidly losing the plot. The media should STOP showing all those pictures of Lower Louisiana under ALL of that water. So far away and don't know how to get my head around this, I think my Grandmother might have a stroke and die with all of the stress.

I'm going for a while until I can get things together in a more coherent fashion...I know I've just had a meltdown in a public forum, fuck how fucking embarrassing.

[LeftishBrit]

28. I am so sorry!

Just read this post - can't imagine how frightening it must all be for you! I hope your grandmother is all right.

[lockdown]

19. "Words fail me"

With luck, that means you won't advocate shooting illegal immigrants dead anymore, while declaring such a thing doesn't concern you as someone of good British stock.

Your concern on this thread is heartfelt and touching....

[Taxloss]

22. Not to muddle in yet another emotive issue in the least.

Nice work.

[lockdown]

23. Sorry

excuse the late edit. Was a bit all over for a moment.

Thanks, anyway.

[Anarcho-Socialist]

24. Are you looking for a support network?

It's a lot to ask for people who you've only known in a short amount of time to give you the amount of emotional support that you seem to be looking for.

I'm sorry that you're feeling the loss of John Peel, but it is surprising to me that you've given us the task of being your support network. I don't think it is something that posters here can prepare themselves for.

We're a nice little forum. We can talk about serious things and joke about frivolous things, but I don't think we can ever easily become an emotional support group. It's hard to find that sort of commitment.

If people don't reply in your threads, it could be that they've either not visited the forum, or have overlooked the thread, or have not posted because some other poster has already expressed the same sentiment or opinion. I seriously doubt there's anything malicious there. You only have to look at the UK forum page to see how obviously popular your threads are.

If your thread had sank with 0 or 1 reply then I could understand.

I hope you will feel better about things.

[LeftishBrit]

27. I agree with Anarcho-Socialist

I did in fact post on the thread; but I think it must be remembered that (1) this is a time when many UK-ers are on holiday, and many more have JUST returned to work; (2) many people here will have American connections and be very preoccupied with Katrina (I know you do, and are, too; but for some people it will mean MAINLY reading and posting on hurricane-related threads).

I am sorry that this anniversary has caused you a lot of sorrow.

Best wishes!

ETA: I just read your post above about your grandmother and other relatives in Louisiana - I can understand how upset you are, and really do wish you and them all the best!!!!

[mr blur]

25. We've all posted threads that have been ignored...

doesn't mean there's anything personal in it. People have other things on their minds and other priorities. Haven't you ever been in the middle of a shouting match in GD, for example? Compared to that the UK Forum is positively easy-going. I read your Peel post and quite honestly there didn't seem to be anything to say in reply that we haven't already said when his death happened. Nothing personal towards you.

[lockdown]

26. Sorry all

I can attest to the fact that ...of J.Temperance has been under a lot of stress recently, regardless of the light-heartedness of many posts here, because of very real concerns about family members in Louisiana in the path of Katrina.

At least partly I am to blame for this thread. On seeing the Peel tribute one I'd assured oJT that it was a great thread and would have loads of responses next day. When that wasn't the case, oJT, bearing in mind other stresses, was upset it didn't happen and took it personally. And now is doubly upset and embarrassed as a result of this reaction.

Sorry, hope you can all indulge and not take all this too badly, and not hold it against oJT.

Sorry oJT too. I've personally put you in an potentially awkward position here because of our rapport and egging you on too much, maybe beyond what some find tolerable. Something you couldn't have known at the time.

[southlandshari]

29. Locking

Please address problems with specific forums on DU via a PM to a moderator - I and all the other mods are always happy to help with questions or concerns - or by sending a message to admins via this link:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/contact.html

That said, thanks to all of the wonderful UK DUers who have offered support here. Things can get tough when emotions are raw. As always, feel free to contact me if you have questions about this lock.

southlandshari
DU Moderator