Help with writing to Saltman

[insane_cratic_gal]

I'm so sorry I posted this in 2 other threads, but given that Ray Saltman is a very respected voice for election reform. BTW I know my grammar is horrible!!

I need help answering his email inquiry and pointing out matters of importance.

Mr. Saltman,

I'm far from anyone important except a concerned voter, extremely interested in Election reform. I wish I could tote, that my importance was something that would bring you the recognition you surely deserve. Since the silence of the main stream media on voting irregularities remains untouched, I would ask that perhaps you would be willing to give your unbiased opinion about 2004 election. We would of course publish your findings and or opinion on the matter on a high traffic blog. I know you have a book being released in 2005, perhaps allowing your name to hit the Blog spectrum would be a productive query?

Also to note, this past week, my nightly bed time reading has been reading your 92 page for U.S. DEPARTMENT OF COMMERCE. It is the startling revelations you expose here that implored me to contact you. Its relevance today is equally important as it was 16 years ago. It is my opinion and that of others, our systems as been undermined by several Companies: Diebold, Triad, ES&S systems to name a few.

I wouldn't ask you to be the hero for election reform except, but I wish you would hero the cause. I see that from doing some research on you were part of a CA reform in 2001.
I have much admiration for your work and dedication within the structure of the community. You are, in my opinion the leading candidate champion the cause and lead the integrity of our elections. That of course, would be your personal choice.

As far as the information you provide that is entirely up to you. My interest is your interest. Election reform, with your permission I would love to indulge your opinion, yet again, in the lost of trust of our present election system.
The churn over the election e-voting systems in present day has indeed been a whirling wind that refuses to settle over the Internet. In full I would enjoy an interview, on the respect of what is wrong with our system today. Perhaps any opinions you'd care to give. Even if they are subjective to my own.

Could I point your attention to an Affidavit given about a Triad Employee in Hocking County OH and what your belief is.
In part of your statement given in 1988 you stated. "No one shall impede upon the election process, by handling or removing any E-Prom, tampering, removing, interchange with another eprom (mem) containing incorrect data."
To do so undermines the voters confidence in the integrity of the voting system. You were right on several accounts.

here are some links if you'd indulge a nobody, but a concerned citizen.
http://www.truthout.org/docs_04/121604Z.shtml
http://www.athensnews.com/issue/article.php3?story_id=19243


I would ask you Duer's for input, on this and what in addition would you add or subtract?

[regularjoe]

1. Do you want grammatical editing? n/t

[insane_cratic_gal]

2. If you want to contribute to that

by all means edit it away.

I'm terrible at it, as I have stated.

[Ellipsis]

3. kick!

[regularjoe]

4. Some editing

Ok. This is a copy of your letter with my editing comments in red.

Mr. Saltman,

I'm far from anyone important except a concerned voter, extremely interested in Election reform. I wish I could tote, (remove comma) that my importance was something that would bring you the recognition you surely deserve. Since the silence of the main stream media on voting irregularities remains untouched, I would ask that perhaps you would be willing to give your unbiased opinion about 2004 election. We(who is "we?" do you want to explain or switch to "I") would of course publish your findings and or opinion on the matter on a high traffic blog. I know you have a book being released in 2005, perhaps allowing your name to hit the Blog spectrum would be a productive query?

Also to note, this past week, my nightly bed time reading has been reading your 92 page (....report? paper? )for the U.S. DEPARTMENT OF COMMERCE. It is the startling revelations you expose here (perhaps change "here" to "in the report" or something similar) that implored me to contact you. Its relevance today is as equally important as it was 16 years ago. It is my opinion and that of others, our systems as (replace "systems as" with "election system has")been undermined by several Companies: Diebold, Triad, ES&S systems to name a few.

I wouldn't ask you to be the hero for election reform except, but (you don't need both "except" and "but." How about removing "except")I wish you would hero the cause. (do you want to use "hero" as a verb?)I see that from doing some research on you were part of a CA reform in 2001. (How about changing that last sentence to "From my research I noticed that you were part of a CA reform in 2001." By the way, what kind of reform was he involved in? election reform? campaign fincance reform?)
I have much admiration for your work and dedication within the structure of the community. You are, in my opinion (insert comma) the leading candidate champion the cause and lead the integrity of our elections. ("the leading candidate champion the cause and lead the integrity of our elections?" That part is confusing. Perhaps you should reword it) That of course, would be your personal choice. (what is his choice? Are you asking him to do something? I think I missed that part?)

As far as the information you provide that is entirely up to you. My interest is your interest. Election reform (what does this first part, "Election reform," have to do with the rest of the sentence? It seems out of place. Perhaps you should remove it.) , with your permission I would love to indulge your opinion, yet again, in the lost (change "lost" to "loss") of trust of (change "of" to "in") our present election system.
The churn (personal I would prefer "turmoil" instead of "churn") over the election e-voting systems in present day has indeed been a whirling wind that refuses to settle over the Internet. ("A whirling wind over the internet that refuses to settle?" Or "a whirling wind that refuses to settle over the internet?" I'm confused as to whether the wind is over the internet and refuses to settle or whether it refuses to settle over the internet?) In full ("In full?" huh? How about removing that.)I would enjoy an interview, on the respect of what is wrong with our system today. (How about "I would enjoy an interview concerning the problems with out election system." Or something similar. "On the respect of" doesn't sound as good as "concerning" or "about" or "regarding") Perhaps any opinions you'd care to give.(Perhaps what? What about those opinions? This is a sentence fragment) Even if they are subjective to my own. (what do you mean by "subjective to my own?")

Could I (replace "Could I" with "I would like to")point your attention to an Affidavit given about a Triad Employee in Hocking County OH and what your belief is. (split this into two sentences. The first sentence "pointing" his attention, the second asking his opinion.)
In part of your statement given in 1988 you stated. (replace period with ":") "No one shall impede upon the election process, by handling or removing any E-Prom, tampering, removing, interchange with another eprom (mem) containing incorrect data."
To do so undermines the voters confidence in the integrity of the voting system. You were right on several accounts.

here are some links if you'd indulge a nobody(I don't think you should call yourself a nobody. Remove that part and just say "a concerned citizen.") , but a concerned citizen.
http://www.truthout.org/docs_04/121604Z.shtml
http://www.athensnews.com/issue/article.php3?story_id=1...

[insane_cratic_gal]

5. Wow

Thank you, In my own frenzy I hadn't seen all of these glaring errors.

Copying and changing

Thank you for the suggestions. Are you sure you won't write it? LOL I don't feel confident enought to be a voice for "we" or those of use concerned with voting problems.

He's an MIT grad, the formost leader in research for election reform. NIST employee who reports on voting technologies. He's 2nd to Doug Jones.
I feel like a complete dope, I never expected the inquiry to go through. I expected the email to bounce, hence why I am scrambling!

But your right, to undermine my own voice won't due any good for the cause.

thank you for all of that hard word Joe.