Even the RAPTURE Won't Prevent the Coronation of Shrub!

[Vinnie From Indy]

As you probably know, there are numerous debates raging on whether or not c+ Augustus will actually be coronated as president on the 20th of January. Some posters are adamant about the inevitability of a Shrub coronation on the 20th and they claim that there is absolutely, positively no way for anything other than that event to occur. Other posters have countered that assertion by pointing to the possibility of a "Rapture Event" taking place. They offer that if God decided to call his flock home before the 20th, Bush would not be inaugurated. I don't believe that counter argument is valid for the following reasons.

It would seem obvious that there are many that talk the talk but don't walk the walk in America in regard to proper Christian morals and values. I believe that if God gives Earth a smack with the "rapture stick" only a few dozen people will qualify for heaven. The rest of us, including all of the religious right, will just get our hair messed up in all the fire, smoke, wind and stuff. We will be left with millions of dusty, unraptured people milling about in confusion and anger. It is almost certain that in the days following the "rapture event" Rush will start bellowing that it was Bill Clinton's penis that has denied real American's their right to sit on a cloud and play a harp and Wal-Mart will start selling t-shirts with "My pious parents went to the Rapture and all I got was this lousy T-shirt" printed on the back. Ann Coulter will call Jesus out as a "girly-man" and Sean Hannity will want to kill all the Buddhists, Hindu's etc. for laughing and snickering at the rumpled, unraptured Christians. Dino Rossi will ask for a recounting of the souls raptured in Washington State and Rummy will protest by claiming that you go to a Rapture with the morals you have, not the morals you want.

Personally, I believe that it is not a certainty that Shrub will be coronated. I think there is a slight chance that he might become the first human being to ever run himself over fatally with a Segway machine or he could choke on a fried banana and pretzel sandwich. Sadly, The Rapture, being a long shot anyway, will not stop BushCo. from wielding power.

[madison2000]

1. Theologically speaking, I consider the W years to be the "tribulation"

and a 4 year "trib" is plenty!

:puke: :nuke: :puke: :nuke: :puke: :nuke: :puke: :nuke:

[Vinnie From Indy]

4. Amen Brother n/t

[Alizaryn]

2. This has to be one of the most amusing but true paragraphs

I've read. Thanks for the laugh.

"The rest of us, including all of the religious right, will just get our hair messed up in all the fire, smoke, wind and stuff. We will be left with millions of dusty, unraptured people milling about in confusion and anger. It is almost certain that in the days following the "rapture event" Rush will start bellowing that it was Bill Clinton's penis that has denied real American's their right to sit on a cloud and play a harp. Ann Coulter will call Jesus out as "girly-man" and Sean Hannity will want to kill all the Buddhists, Hindu's etc. for laughing and snickering at the rumpled, unraptured Christians. Dino Rossi will ask for a recounting of the souls raptured in Washington State and Rummy will protest by claiming that you go to a Rapture with the morals you have, not the morals you want."

[ktowntennesseedem]

3. Beautiful, Vinnie!

The smiles those images gave me should last the rest of the day!

[mattclearing]

5. After God's celebration of Christmas (See: Tsunami), I'll pass.

God isn't rescuing us.

If anything, 2004 was the most effective argument against the existence of God since Ray Romano.

[Vinnie From Indy]

8. LOL I agree completely

Ray Romano! One of the most unfunny comedians ever to walk the planet.

[No Exit]

6. You mean we don't get to go to the Rapture?

I'm reminded of "Huckleberry Finn", when sanctimonious old Miss Watson was trying to instruct the heathen Huck on how he had to act to ensure he went to heaven:

" told me all about the bad place, and I said I wished I was there... She said it was wicked to say what I said; said she wouldn't say it for the whole world; SHE was going to live so as to go to the good place. Well, I couldn't see no advantage in going where she was going, so I made up my mind I wouldn't try for it...she went on and told me all about the good place...I asked her if she reckoned Tom Sawyer would go there, and she said no, not by a considerable sight. I was glad about that, because I wanted him and me to be together."

[Vinnie From Indy]

7. No Rapture for You! n/t

[No Exit]

9. Awww, shucks!

And I was so looking forward to being jetted to heaven on Air Force One!