Funniest things Kerry could say to Bush if he ended up winning

[New Earth]

i wanna hear them! here's some of mine (not very funny, but i never claim to be a comedian)

"So Bush, I hear there's been uh......rumors, on the uh, internets. (and then in reference to the huge 'grassroots' movement that fought for recounts and investigations) SOUNDS LIKE WE GOT A MANDATE FROM THE AMERICAN PEOPLE!"

[Kathy in Cambridge]

1. "Get the fuck out of my house. The people have spoken"

mandate my ass....

[Dinger]

10. First Place Kathy!

:yourock:

[BlueCaliDem]

45. Kerry to B*: "It Appears Your "Win" Was An...Ex...ag...ger...ation." N/T

[Dinger]

60. Didn't he look stupid when he said that? What a laugher!

[Kahuna]

30. LOL! Of course, Kerry is too much of a gentleman to ever say ...

something like that. I'm sure Al Gore would be very happy to say it for him.

[NewYorkerfromMass]

44. no need to get snippy

:)

[Kathy in Cambridge]

2. dupe

[progressiveBadger]

Wanna take a fishing trip to Canada?

(in reference to that editorial yesterday saying that Candada could charge * with war crimes)

[dkofos]

17. Good one.

I hope they arrest him when he visits Canada even if Kerry doesn't win.

:evilgrin: :evilgrin: :evilgrin:

[zann725]

93. Ditto!

n/t

[CementDude]

3. "Mission Accomplished!"

n/t

[bleever]

4. "Sorry, Junior, I guess your mandate was one of those

EXAGGERATIONS!"

[bleever]

6. "Now go sell some wood." n/t

[New Earth]

7. lol

[dbonds]

5. I guess you didn't listen to the will of the people

I said no questions and you cleary asked 'what the fuck'?

[bleever]

8. ROFL!

[EnfantTerrible]

9. "Just a one finger victory salute"

http://p2p-politics.org/cgi-bin/wrapper.cgi?title=A%20different%20kind%20of%20President&url=http://static.vidvote.com/movies/bushuncensored.mov

[RagingInMiami]

11. Kerry will say

"There's a mainstream in American politics and you sit on the far right bank"

[Laura PourMeADrink]

79. Scott Peterson Called - He's Looking for a Cellmate

[zann725]

94. Tony Blair called, and said something about "Impeachment?"

n/t

[boi1946]

13. Guess you couldn't fool us twice after all

[tbuddha]

14. That's awesome!

[eowyn_of_rohan]

59. Your brand of subliminabable strategery never works, George. n/t

[Dinger]

12. Bye Fucker, There'll NEVER be Another repig in this House Again!

You and CONdi can write a tell-all book together.

[IAMREALITY]

15. Uhhh

"There There Bush, it'll be ok. If it makes you feel better, even Jesus was only able to preach the gospel for 4 years before the people elected to string him up on a cross!"

[O.M.B.inOhio]

16. You can stay here in the Oval Office, too...

... as long you sit in the corner.

[dkofos]

18. You win an all expense trip to Falluja.

To make up your missing Guard time!!

[Broken Acorn]

19. Sorry...

your brother couldn't deliver Ohio as well.

[IAMREALITY]

20. How bout

"Here's a 50 dollar FAO Shwartz gift card...Go spend your Capital"

[BREMPRO]

21. The people have flip-flopped the election in my favor!

[lilpnut]

22. this is my last flip-flop. i promise. okay, maybe one more. n/t

[anamandujano]

49. excellent! or, Flip-Flopper in Chief, thanks to the people.

a variation--I guess you guys were right after all, I'm a flip-flopper.

[ever_green]

95. lol

:)

[Hatchling]

23. The issue was morality...

..and you don't have any!
or:
The Country has spoken: Take your torch and get off the continent!

[skysurfer]

24. How About...

"You've Been PUNKED!!!"

[Broken Acorn]

25. Your new Cloak isn't fooling anyone dude

[emulatorloo]

26. I actually won the election before I lost

EOM

[emulatorloo]

27. They voted for me before Diebold voted against me

EOM

[lizzieforkerry]

32. I want that on a bumper sticker! LOL!!!

[notadmblnd]

73. www.makestickers.com

you can make it up and you'll have it in about 3 days.

[BernieBear]

62. Great one emulatorloo!!!!!!!!!!!!!! n/t

:bounce: to you!!

BernieBear

[Donailin]

83. Oh God.

I love it!

[ever_green]

96. ha ha!

good one!

[BREMPRO]

28. and then i won again! LOL

[bmoney07]

29. Kerry to Bush

What happen to the capital that you planned on spending????

[haunce]

50. Kerry says to Bush

Don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya:evilgrin:

[Dark Secret]

31. The Nov.2nd Veterans for Truth Have Spoken. Bye George...

[hippiechick]

33. "Don't be bummed George - you can always sell WOOD"

:evilgrin:


:hippie:

[Wordie]

34. Whoops, I guess we've had a FLIP FLOP! (oh, what I wouldn't give...)n/t

[go west young man]

35. How about....

"Why don't you and Dick go and have a little man date back at the ranch. I need this your chair so I can unfuck the world!"

[driver8]

36. Guess you won't be needing that political capital...n/t

[pointsoflight]

37. Here's your mandate, bitch.

[merh]

38. "you have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and

will be used against you in a court of law....."

[keepthemhonest]

39. first prize on that one this is what I am talking about

how many years would he get

[merh]

42. Weren't Nazi war criminals sentenced to death?

I am against the death penalty, so life without the possiblity of parole would work for me.

[liberalcenter]

40. I hope you enjoy your mandate

I hope you enjoy your mandate ManDate Maybe you can bring Cheney along.

[txindy]

41. "You misunderestimated me. Again."

"Is you learned anything, at all?"

:evilgrin:

[99Pancakes]

46. Dang!

You got my one-liner in before me!
Now let me think of something else..............

[jbnow]

43. Don't flip, but you flopped

[99Pancakes]

47. You can run....

but you can't hide (from the law)

[madison2000]

48. That was my capital you were spending

little turkey

[Citizen Jane]

51. Guess you kind of Cheneyed yourself, huh?

This, of course, would be dependent upon election fraud being revealed.

[bleever]

52. "Why don't you go work on your presidential lie-brary?"

[musette_sf]

53. "So long, screwy...

...see ya in St. Louie"!

(just because I always loved it when Bugs Bunny said it)

[Chimpanzee]

54. George - If it makes you feel any better

I FORGOT POLAND!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Donailin]

84. ROFL!! n/t

[bleever]

55. "What's a matter, pal? Didn't get the message?

Must be time to change the batteries in your shirt!"


:evilgrin:

[rocktivity]

56. "This will be my last of my flip-flops you'll have to deal with."

:headbang:
rocknation

[bleever]

57. "Swiper, no swiping! Swiper, no swiping!"

With thanks to Dora the Explorer.

[New Earth]

58. oh man

these are hilarious. mine sucked bad, but that's why i asked for yours.

i think my favorite so far was "You misunderestimated me. Again. Is you learning anything, at all?"

LOL

[txindy]

63. "You wacky B*sh brothers. You really want this to be a banana republic."

"It's written all over your faces."



;)

[bleever]

65. Mmmmm. Monkey like bananas.

Your last couple graphics aren't showing up, just the red X in the box. I hope I haven't missed more great monkey animations! Keep 'em coming; just to leaven the mounting weirdness with good belly laughs.:toast:

[txindy]

69. Right click on the picture (or x, in this case) and then hit View Image

If it doesn't show up then, let me know.

[bleever]

72. Tried that, but no go...

[txindy]

74. See my post below for more monkeys (I hope!)

[txindy]

70. Okay, Monkey Alert!

Sleepy Monkey Worry http://tinyurl.com/5ar7l

Brothers http://tinyurl.com/68r9k

[bleever]

77. All right, NOW I'm getting paranoid: Somebody's cut off my monkey access!

Forbidden
You don't have permission to access /animierte_gifs/Affen/012.gif on this server.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Apache/1.3.27 Server at www.amazing-gifs.de Port 80


:tinfoilhat:

[txindy]

81. ROFL! You must've reached your monkey quota for the month!

;) Apparently, I'm right behind you. I can't see that one anymore, either, but I can right-click on the link, open link in new window, and view the second one (Brothers).

The Revenge of the Monkey Brothers? The Monkey Strikes Back? :scared:

[bleever]

82. Thankyouthankyouthankyou. I got monkeys.

Technology once again trumps Big Brother!

And jeez, I hadn't even googled "CyberNet" yet!

ROFLMAO.

[xiamiam]

61. YOU'RE FIRED

...maybe not so funny but I would love that

[AmyCrat]

64. Democracy has prevailed, and you ARE the weakest link!! (n/t)

[meow2u3]

66. How does your own medicine taste?

You know, the kind that the FDA approved, despite the fact it killed people?

[Doohickie]

67. "Um... George,

...from now on, that's President Kerry to you.

[txindy]

71. "But you can call me 'Sir'."

:toast:

[SharonRB]

68. It was hard work, but we made sure all the votes were counted.

[Broken Acorn]

75. I'm sure there is room over at Halliburton or the Carlye Group

[steelyboo]

76. "You want a menthol or regular?"

This will be while Kerry is tying the blindfold, and the squad is taking aim to deliver some REAL American justice, showing what we think of traitorous pricks.

[bleever]

78. "And for God's sake,

take the damn steer horns off the front of Air Force One before you go."

[bleever]

80. "Hey, look, how about I train you for your next job?

Repeat after me: Paper or plastic?"

(Not that I'd actually trust him to bag my groceries.)

[TakeBackUSA]

85. That's "President Flip-Flopper" to you

[rainbow4321]

86. "Go sell some wood!" n/t

[scotjohn]

87. You forgot pollin'. (awful, I know, but can't resist.)

[bleever]

102. LOL!

[shakerbaker]

88. When I said I conceded

It was a lie.:evilgrin:

[mak3cats]

89. "Hey, moron, my wife has something to say to you" (n/t)

[DLnyc]

90. Hold the numbers at chest height and look directly at the camera.

[shakerbaker]

91. brother some are

wound way too tight.:think:

[NAO]

92. Actually, I lost the election, before I won it

[New Earth]

97. kick

these are great. i just laughed my ass off reading them over.

i honestly didn't think many would reply.

keep them coming! we need the humor and high spirits!

[lawladyprof]

98. Now, let's take a look at your daddy's records (the ones you sealed)-eom

[txindy]

99. Ooo, good one! I'd love to see those records, myself.

:toast:

[spooked]

100. Leave the Shredder, Take the Cannoli

n/t

[sabra]

101. I hope you saved your reciepts....

because we would like a refund on all that political capital you've been spending.

[bleever]

103. Kerry takes B* into a room, flips off the lights, and

while shining a flashlight on his own face from below, says, "Where is your God now??? BWA HA HA HA HAAA!"


(Then he flips the lights back on and says, "Hey, just kidding. Beer?")

[zann725]

104. The Election wasn't lost because of "Dixiecrats"...

it was RE-CLAIMED because of the Internets!:hi:

[New Earth]

105. lol

[Farmgirl]

106. F9/11 moment

Kerry: "George, you have to go now."

Bush: (sits in chair and stares aimlessly for 7 minutes)

[Name removed]

107. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[New Earth]

108. i can't wait till you get deleted and banned

w00t

[bleever]

109. "Pretzel?"

[Dem2theMax]

110. Don't worry George. We have some lovely parting gifts for you.

~~~hands * a bag~~~

Contents:

Speak and Spell.
The Pet Goat Anniversary Addition.
HUGE bag of pretzels.
Silver set of cuffs, and I ain't talking cuff 'links.'
One size fits all Orange jumpsuit.
Invite from Michael Moore to come have some popcorn and watch F 9-11 together.
Fabulous trip to The Hague, all expenses paid.
Signed, framed pics of all his buddies. (To see them, go to the local post office or America's Most Wanted web site.)
One way ticket to Abu Ghraib.