Challenge: can you prove that Pope Benedict XVI isn't a lesbian?

[Boojatta]

List your assumptions and proceed step-by-step. Ideally, say something about every principle that you rely upon when you go from an assumption to a conclusion or from one line of your proof to the next line.

[varkam]

1. Easy.

P1: I just finished my bowl of Honey Bunches of Oats.

----

C: Therefore, Pope Benedict is not a lesbian.

Any questions?

[Hydra]

3. Hmm, you make this look easy

So let me take a stab at this.

P1: The current Pope is a dick
P2: Lesbians don't have/like dicks

-----------------------------

C: The Pope cannot be a lesbian

[varkam]

4. Aha! But can you prove that the Pope is a male?

I contend that you cannot!

[Hydra]

5. :D

I don't have to. Do you accept the premise that the pope is a dick, regardless of whether said person is male, female or other, and that lesbians by nature hate dicks?

:evilgrin:

I do accept your premise of possible other than assumed gender- he wears a dress in public, after all.

[varkam]

8. That is teh funny.

:rofl:

[Meshuga]

11. Well if that is true, I have a question:

Who the hell buys the strap-ons? Who are the target buyers?

[Hydra]

15. :D

One of my friends would probably say "It's a penis minus the dick!"

I couldn't tell you the rationalization not being a lesbian myself. I myself have seen the dichotomy of hating dick but loving dildo, and go with the idea that the dick-hate is legitimate(and justified) but still a substitute is desired(veggieburgers or body pillows, anyone?).

Humans are funny creatures, and fun to watch.

[Meshuga]

18. You have a point

You had me at veggieburger. Humans are funny creatures indeed. :-)

[jobycom]

2. Yes.

But then I'd have to kill you.

[izquierdista]

6. He never wears flannel

Therefore, he can't be lesbian.

[defendandprotect]

7. Could we at least have a photo --- something with false eyelashes, maybe . . . ???

Sandals . . . but high heeled . . . ?

A pink petticoat underneath the dress . . . ?

[rateyes]

9. A. The pope prefers to sleep with women.

B. Lesbians prefer to sleep with women.

Therefore:

C. The pope is a lesbian.

How's that for logic??

[bdf]

19. The Pope is a Catholic Priest

Catholic Priests prefer to sleep with choirboys.

Lesbians prefer to sleep with women.

Therefore the Pope is not a lesbian.

[rateyes]

25. The pope is actually a Catholic Bishop...

The Bishop of Rome. He only covers up for the priests. No pun intended.

[bdf]

29. So you mean that priests have to give up buggering choirboys

in order to advance in the ranks?

Does it strike you as likely that an organization that has consistently covered up for this sort of activity for decades and that orders for the cover-up came from various Popes, actually disapproves of such activity once a priest rises to the rank of Bishop?

That would be like having an army where only the privates are allowed to kill the enemy; the non-commissioned officers and officers order the privates to kill the enemy but are not allowed to do so themselves.

Anyway, in any pic I've seen of the current pope, he has an expression of ineffable evil. He looks like he buggers choirboys, then carves bits of their flesh off and eats it raw while they're still alive. That grin is the opposite of beatific.

I wonder if he's renounced his Young Nazi membership yet.

[Javaman]

10. This post is worthless without pictures!!! nt

[defendandprotect]

13. here's one . . .

&rurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.flickr.com%2Fphotos%2Fjoncombe%2F268011512%2F&size=181.2kB&name=Pope+Benedict+XVI&p=pope+benedict+xvi&type=JPG&oid=5a2f5df4d6af3dd4&fusr=JonCombe&tit=Pope+Benedict+XVI&hurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.flickr.com%2Fphotos%2Fjoncombe%2F&no=28&tt=40,457&sigr=11ggc214u&sigi=11d2jr1pe&sigb=13kr937uc&sigh=116olqd71

[Mme. Defarge]

12. I don't know about the current pope, but

I'm convinced that Ronald Reagan and Pope John Paul II were actually the same person. It was just too coincidental that both were (ostensibly) shot within a very close time frame (how conveeeeenient, no?). Also, when Nancy whispered to Ronnie the answer to a reporter's question and Ronnie repeated it ("Doing everything we can.") to the reporters, everyone assumed this was because he was too old and deaf to hear the question. In reality, Nancy was translating for him because his native language was really Polish.

Can anyone prove that this isn't true?

[defendandprotect]

14. I thought John Paul II . . . .

the first CIA Pope . . . which may explain why he looked more like Allen Dulles ---

[Mme. Defarge]

20. OMG!

William Casey? He could only lead two lives for so long?

[Evoman]

16. Because the thought of two lesbians doing the nasty REALLY fills me with lust.

While the thought of the pope and another lesbian doing it just gives me a semi. It's a matter of degrees.

[Boojatta]

23. Can you form the thought of an arbitrary even number greater than 2 that is equal...

to a sum of the form p+q where p is a prime number and q is a prime number? (Note: we neither assume that p and q are unequal nor assume that p equals q).

How does that thought compare with the thought of just a plain arbitrary even number greater than 2? Do the thoughts make you feel different?

[Evoman]

28. Quit with your sweet talking.

If you want some of this, your going to have to buy me dinner first.

[PVnRT]

30. Simply add 1 to any prime number other than 2

It's quite easy.

[cosmik debris]

17. Are you feeling lonely? unappreciated? neglected?

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=132&topic_id=6553308&mesg_id=6553308

[Boojatta]

21. No, there has been a lot of action in some other threads.

You can't win them all.

Edited to give an example of where there was some action.

[Donald Ian Rankin]

22. "Testiculos habet et bene pendentes". QED. NT.

N.T.

[Boojatta]

24. Did you find that in a book about logic by a French mathematician?

Did you translate it into Latin for me?

I think that most DU members who read threads in the Religion/Theology forum would appreciate the English translation more than they would appreciate the Latin translation.

[Donald Ian Rankin]

26. "He has testicles, and they dangle nicely".

It's nothing to do with logic; its what the cardinals don't actually say but there's a legend that they used to, to prove that the Pope is a man.

You can read all about it at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/La_Papessa

[smoogatz]

27. I knew a short, fat, hairy bald guy who had a sex change

so he could be a lesbian, but I don't think he was even Catholic. So, no.

[MilesColtrane]

31. Not without that old ritual they used to go through...

[ZombieHorde]

32. I could easily, but I would need the Pope to agree to an examination.

[HamdenRice]

33. 1. Pull up robe. 2. Pull down drawers. 3. Check for dick

By definition, a lesbian is a woman. If the Pope is not a woman, he is not a lesbian.

If you are asking for someone to give you proof without having access to his person, just look at the millions of bytes of information about him. The consensus of those books, articles, documents, etc., is that he is a man and has a penis.