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A joke on EVERYONE. Not mine, found on net. Enjoy!

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Strong Atheist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-13-09 12:29 PM
Original message
A joke on EVERYONE. Not mine, found on net. Enjoy!
Taoism
Shit happens.

Buddhism
If shit happens, it's not really shit.

Islam
If shit happens, it's the will of Allah.

Protestantism
Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.

Judaism
Why does this shit always happen to us?

Hinduism
This shit happened before.

Catholicism
Shit happens because you're bad.

Hare Krishna
Shit happens rama rama.

T.V. Evangelism
Send more shit.

Atheism
No shit.

Jehova's Witness
Knock knock, shit happens.

Hedonism
There's nothing like a good shit
happening.

Christian Science
Shit happens in your mind.

Agnosticism
Maybe shit happens, maybe it
doesn't.

Rastafarianism
Let's smoke this shit.

Existentialism
What is shit anyway?

Stoicism
This shit doesn't bother me.
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Wapsie B Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-13-09 12:31 PM
Response to Original message
1. I love it!
Thanks for the laugh.

:rofl:
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Strong Atheist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-13-09 12:33 PM
Response to Reply #1
4. You are most
welcome! Glad you liked it.
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ZombieHorde Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-13-09 12:32 PM
Response to Original message
2. Once again, the Shintos are off the hook. nt
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elshiva Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-13-09 08:14 PM
Response to Reply #2
24. Difficult to think of one for Shintos. Can anyone think of one?
Shinto: It's shit, but there's spirits in it.
That's the best I can think of right now...
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Occam Bandage Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-14-09 02:19 PM
Response to Reply #2
36. Shintoism:
Edited on Sat Feb-14-09 02:28 PM by Occam Bandage
Everything's full of shit.
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TechBear_Seattle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-22-09 06:11 PM
Response to Reply #36
40. How about...
Holy shit!

(Many animist religions such as Shinto hold that there is a spirit for everything, and thus everything has some sacredness to it.)
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rateyes Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-13-09 12:33 PM
Response to Original message
3. Republicanism:
Let's stir this pile of shit. :rofl:
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Strong Atheist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-13-09 12:34 PM
Response to Reply #3
5. Nice addition! nt.
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rateyes Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-13-09 12:37 PM
Response to Reply #5
6. Democraticism:
Why are we always cleaning up Republican's shit?
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Strong Atheist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-13-09 12:38 PM
Response to Reply #6
7. Even better!
:yourock:
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nykym Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-13-09 12:39 PM
Response to Original message
8. Hey!
I have a t-shirt with the same.
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Night_Nurse Donating Member (500 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-13-09 01:28 PM
Response to Reply #8
10. Me too! "Religions of the World".. nt
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grannie4peace Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-13-09 12:48 PM
Response to Original message
9. let's smoke this shit! it's great!
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pleah Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-13-09 01:54 PM
Response to Original message
11. K&R I can't stop laughing!
:rofl:
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Strong Atheist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-13-09 02:49 PM
Response to Reply #11
15. Glad it was good for some yuks! nt.
Edited on Fri Feb-13-09 03:15 PM by Strong Atheist
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SIMPLYB1980 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-13-09 01:58 PM
Response to Original message
12. Well shit.
:rofl:
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Canuckistanian Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-13-09 02:07 PM
Response to Original message
13. Scientology
"Hey, you can make money with this shit!"
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Strong Atheist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-13-09 02:49 PM
Response to Reply #13
14. Good addition! nt.
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asjr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-13-09 03:03 PM
Response to Original message
16. This one has been around for a good while.
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eridani Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-13-09 03:04 PM
Response to Original message
17. Buddhism--
If shit happens, it is an illusion.

Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?

Confucianism: Confucius said "Shit happens."

Episcopalianism: Doodoo occurs.

Calvinism: This shit was bound to happen.

Paganism: Shit is part of Nature.

Unitarianism: Shit happens, but that's OK.
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Strong Atheist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-13-09 03:06 PM
Response to Reply #17
18. Some good ones there! nt.
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SidneyCarton Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-13-09 03:59 PM
Response to Original message
19. Mormonism:
Shit happens, it has happened since the beginning and it has been taken away at times due to disobedience but always restored through revelation, because it has an eternal purpose.
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daleo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-13-09 05:09 PM
Response to Reply #19
21. Alternatively
Shit happens, but I have special underwear.
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SidneyCarton Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-13-09 05:14 PM
Response to Reply #21
22. Ya know, I fail to see the fascination with Garments...
Catholics wear crucifixes, certain observant Jews wear Yammukahs, Muslims wear the Kufi, the Hijab, the Abaya, or the dreaded Burkha, Sikhs wear turbans and grow out their hair and beards, none of these arouse particular comment, why is our choice of underclothing all that scandalous?
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FloridaJudy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-13-09 09:28 PM
Response to Reply #22
25. Because underwear is inherently amusing to the immature mind.
I mean "Captain Crucifix" and "Yarmulke Man" just wouldn't send middle schoolers into fits of giggles the way "Captain Underpants" does. I also remember my Catholic friends making salacious speculations as to what nuns and priests wore under their clothes. Me, I used to wonder if they really shaved off all their hair...
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eridani Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-14-09 06:23 AM
Response to Reply #25
29. And then there was the digging duty thing
Got a message to Father X or Sister Y? If you can't find them, they're on digging duty--the tunnel between the convent and the rectory.
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daleo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-13-09 11:08 PM
Response to Reply #22
28. It's just a joke
It's a thread making gentle fun of various religous denominations via a catch phrase. You're too sensitive. You ought to see how we FSM'ers are mocked for our pirate hats.
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FloridaJudy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-13-09 04:02 PM
Response to Original message
20. Atheism: I don't believe this shit!
Agnosticism: I'm not so sure about this shit.

Hinduism: This shit has happened before...

New Age: Shit crystallizes, and then it heals you.

Wicca: Blessed be! Free fertilizer!

Televangelism: Send us money or shit will happen to you.
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elshiva Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-13-09 08:13 PM
Response to Reply #20
23. That's great. I love this one:
"Wicca: Blessed be! Free fertilizer!"
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Strong Atheist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-14-09 08:45 AM
Response to Reply #20
31. "Wicca: Blessed be! Free fertilizer!"
:rofl:

:yourock:
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cosmik debris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-13-09 09:47 PM
Response to Original message
26. Ignosticism:
Define: Shit!
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Strong Atheist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-14-09 08:48 AM
Response to Reply #26
32. Yep. This goes for philosophers too, I happen to know. Define your terms
first, before having a discussion...
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ms liberty Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-13-09 10:26 PM
Response to Original message
27. K&R n/t
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rug Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-14-09 08:41 AM
Response to Original message
30. Seventh Day Adventism
Here comes the shit.
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knitter4democracy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-14-09 09:54 AM
Response to Original message
33. Eastern Orthodox Christianity:
Shit happens. Let's pray about it and light a candle.
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Occam Bandage Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-14-09 02:27 PM
Response to Reply #33
37. Greek Orthodoxy:
Priest: επίστεγο συμβαίνει!
Faithful: αληθινά συμβαίνει!

Priest: Shit happens!
Faithful: Truly it happens!

Priest: επίστεγο συμβαίνει!
Faithful: αληθινά συμβαίνει!
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knitter4democracy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-14-09 10:30 PM
Response to Reply #37
38. Can't. breathe.
That one's hilarious! Way better than mine. :)
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TechBear_Seattle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 08:59 AM
Response to Reply #37
41. Brilliant! n/t
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conscious evolution Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-14-09 10:33 AM
Response to Original message
34. Hippies:This is some good shit!
Edited on Sat Feb-14-09 10:34 AM by conscious evolution
Later on: "Whoa. You see that shit,man?"
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Strong Atheist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-14-09 11:02 AM
Response to Reply #34
35. Lol!
:thumbsup:
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Strong Atheist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-22-09 11:34 AM
Response to Original message
39. Shrub:
shit-head.
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