Dropping the J-Bomb on my parents

[JoDog]

Tonight, I will be telling my lapsed Episcopalian parents that I'm converting to Judaism. And I'm nervous.

No boyfriend or fiance involved. Just my own personal decision.

Anyone with any conversion announcement/inspiration to share?

[MajorChode]

1. My son converted to Judaism

I could have cared less if he did or didn't. I've always encouraged him to find his own answers.

[atreides1]

2. When you find out let me know

I've decided to convert to Paganism.

[JoDog]

15. Well, I did have a stopover

in Paganism's sister faith, Wicca. I was 16, and my parents found out when they found some of my books.

So, you could always just leave "The Spiral Dance" laying around when they visit.

[madaboutharry]

3. All I can share is what other converts have told me.

The one thing I have heard from others is that it is very important to impress on them that this is not a rejection of the them or the way they raised you.

[GreenPartyVoter]

5. That sounds like very good advice.

[JoDog]

8. Yes, it is

I'll try to remember that.

[grantcart]

4. They are likely to be relieved that you are not dropping any other kind of bomb on them

like the F, P, D bomb


Felony,

Pregnant

on Drug bomb.

[tekisui]

17. Or, the G bomb.

Gay, all to often seen as a bomb.

[Goblinmonger]

34. Or the A bomb

Atheist

[imdjh]

6. "Oh for God's sake, dear, if you don't like going to church with us just say so.

There's no need for all this drama. Now come give Mommy a kiss and let's hear no more of this?"

"No. Mom, I'm serious."

"Of course you are darling. Just like when you were little and you wanted to work for the circus riding the elephant. You were so adorable."

[JoDog]

10. Ha!

Compared to that, my initial opening line actually sounds sensible:

"Mom, Dad, you may have noticed I didn't order the shrimp."

[NJGeek]

7. Be gracious of how they raised you. On a side note, why are you converting?

Typically these types of conversions are triggered by relationships. It is a curious move, just wondering what the motives are.

[JoDog]

12. Well, as weird as it may sound

I remember always being curious/fascinated by Judaism and Hebrew. At about the age of 7, I announced to my Vacation Bible School class that there was no way Jesus was the messiah. The teacher sent home a note on that one.

From there on, I went along to get along. I tried very hard to "get" Christianity in general and Episcopalianism in specific. But that innermost bell that should ring when it comes to matters of faith never sounded. I got confirmed, became an acolyte. Nada.

At about 16, I started practicing Wicca. My parents found out about it when my Mom found my books. They were OK with that.

A few years ago, I met the people who are now my roommates and best friends in the world. A husband and wife, they are born Jews. He actually went to yeshiva. I attended services with them, and that bell started to ring. I felt like I had come home after a long journey.

And, spookily, there are things I know about Judaism that I didn't know that I know. Like dates, why certain laws were set the way they are, Hebrew pronouncations. I now think that my soul was at Sinai, and I was one of the Jewish souls that had to be reborn in a non-Jewish family for one reason or another.

I hope this helps to explain in some way.

[imdjh]

19. Get genetic testing. You never know

My dad always said we were Jewish mercenaries at the Norman Conquest. Then it turns out that our surname progenitor came from Eastern Europe in the tenth century. Stranger things have happened.

[Qutzupalotl]

22. If they were okay with your Wiccan books,

I doubt they'd have much objection to Judaism. Your parents sound kinda cool, actually.

What little I've read of Jewish mysticism has been inspiring. There is an emphasis on humility that is refreshing. You just feel that the writer "gets it".

[roguevalley]

24. good on you. follow your heart. it will steer you right. :) Mazel tov.

So, when's your bat mitzvah?

[gateley]

26. Just explain to them like you just explained it here -- I can't help but think

if they were okay with Wicca (which would scare a lot of Christian parents) they'll be okay with this choice. Good luck -- and congrats for finding your new 'home'.

[NJGeek]

32. Sounds like the right path for you - I am sure your family will be supportive

[the other one]

9. L'Shana Tovah!

[JoDog]

14. And may you be sealed

for a good and sweet year for 5770!

[rd_kent]

11. Why? Whats the reason?

[JoDog]

13. Please see above

And I have your icon on the back of my car ;)

[MineralMan]

18. Why the question? It's a personal decision.

As such, it's none of anyone else's business.

[Warpy]

16. They'll find out sooner or later

so you might as well go ahead and drop the bomb. It's not going to get any better.

They'll try to talk you out of it, of course, since you haven't done it already.

[LuvNewcastle]

20. Will you still celebrate the holidays with them?

That will probably be a very important issue to them.

[JerseygirlCT]

30. And at bottom of that is usually something as simple

as wanting the family to be together.

When my husband and I announced our engagement, the reaction to a Jewish guy and a Catholic girl from both sets of parents was nothing but happiness. (And an "about time" from my father). We share the holidays with our families. The kids are raised in my faith, since it was important to me that they have a faith, and since my husband is not a religion kind of guy at all. But they know and value their grandparents faith as well.

I think the only tough part was for my FIL at the baptisms and confirmation of his grandsons - the only ones carrying his name. A little strange for him, but certainly nothing to come in the way of strong relationships.

As others have said - not being dismissive of the way the OP was raised, but instead happy about this new path, with probably do a great deal of good.

[Meshuga]

21. Welcome to the tribe!

You will soon learn the secret handshake. The instructions will come in the mail a week after your tevilah. When is the big date?

[unblock]

23. but the jokes! when does she get the jokes!

personally, i think that's the best reason to convert....

[Meshuga]

25. She should have them by now

And be ready to impress her beit din with some Jewish humor. Self-deprecating humor is part of being Jewish. :-)

[moggie]

27. And the martial arts, of course

[JerseygirlCT]

28. Not really

as I left the Catholic church for the Episcopal church. My parents didn't so much as blink - Mom was just happy I'd found a church home again.

My husband's family is Jewish - there's much of great beauty in the faith. Personally, I can't get my head around anyone being upset. Whatever works for you; whatever brings you closer to God.

Good luck with your conversation - I hope it goes much better than you seem to be anticipating!

[gk88850]

29. Good luck doing so

[Lydia Leftcoast]

31. I've known two other Gentiles who converted to Judaism

In both cases, Judaism just "felt like home" to them.

If your parents are Episcopalians (and LAPSED ones at that), they aren't going to give you any grief about "rejecting Jesus," like a distant cousin did from her strict Lutheran relatives forty years ago.

Whatever your parents say, you have to find the path that works for you.

[rug]

33. Which branch?