norml
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Sun Jun-26-05 02:29 PM
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The "Conservative" Sermon On The Mount |
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The "Conservative" Sermon On The Mount
Blessed are the rich for all good things trickle down from them. Cursed are the poor for poverty results from their moral failings. Blessed are the war makers for they keep freedom on the march. Cursed are the peacemakers for they shall be called appeasers. Blessed are those who inflict harsh punishments for they maintain law and order. Cursed are those who forgive for they shall be called soft on crime. Blessed are those who pray loudly standing in the churches and on the corners sounding the trumpet before them. Cursed are those who shut the closet door and pray in secret for their prayers are not heard. Blessed are those who cast the first stone for the sake of sexual morality for that is the only morality that matters. Cursed are those who see sexuality as a private matter for marriage must be defended against them.
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rucky
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Sun Jun-26-05 02:34 PM
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1. i am so nominating this |
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can't wait to send a copy to my Rabbi
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norml
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Sun Jun-26-05 02:49 PM
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4. Thank you! I wrote it as a LTTE for my local paper |
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Awhile ago someone else posted it from there in the Nebraska forum. I was reminded of it by a related thread, so I thought I'd repost it here.
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Melodybe
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Sun Jun-26-05 02:38 PM
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2. Me too, reminds me of supply side Jesus |
yellowdogintexas
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Sun Jun-26-05 02:38 PM
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3. copied, pasted and forwarded by email to a large number of |
thereismore
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Sun Jun-26-05 03:14 PM
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DanCa
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Sun Jun-26-05 04:23 PM
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6. Cool thank you for posting. |
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Funny how us heathens know more about the true spirit of the bible than the good folk of our lady of the perpetual dollar.
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Hidden Stillness
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Sun Jun-26-05 05:53 PM
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Blessed are the capitalists who quote of the Gospels only to advance themselves, for they spread tidings of great joy. Cursed are those who follow Jesus and who sell what they own and give the money to the poor, for they shall be called "socialists," even though, uh, Jesus wasn't, somehow.
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Melodybe
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Mon Jun-27-05 03:30 AM
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8. kick cause this is a good thread |
progressoid
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Mon Jun-27-05 12:05 PM
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Edited on Mon Jun-27-05 12:07 PM by progressoid
Coolio. I sent a copy to my parents for their church study group when it was published! Lincoln Journal Star wasn't it?
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Hidden Stillness
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Wed Jun-29-05 02:29 PM
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Blessed are those who divide the people, and attack them by sex, and race, and age, and sexual preference, and geography, for they remind us that the body is all, and the soul is nothing. Cursed are those who believe we are all equal before God, for they shall quote Scripture where it embarrasseth.
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raccoon
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Wed Jun-29-05 02:37 PM
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blonndee
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Sun Jul-03-05 11:47 PM
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12. Can I use this in my blog? |
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I'll give credit, obviously, but I'm trying to get inspired for my blog and I'd love to use this as a starting point.
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Free2BMe
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Mon Jul-04-05 09:16 PM
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13. You make my point..Conservative Christian is an oxymoron. |
GOPBasher
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Tue Jul-05-05 02:36 PM
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14. Beautiful! I'm nominating this! :-) n/t |
GOPBasher
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Tue Jul-05-05 02:36 PM
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15. Oops: I was too late to nominate. But it's still awesome! n/t |
Hidden Stillness
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Fri Jul-15-05 02:05 PM
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Cursed are the poor, for they are the fodder for factories, Empires and war. Blessed is the camel through the eye of a needle, which apparently fits now.
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Tue May 07th 2024, 05:09 AM
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