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Ian David Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-06-10 05:46 PM
Original message
Digital Absolution- Be absolved of your sins in seconds! It's free.
Edited on Sat Mar-06-10 05:46 PM by Ian David
Digital Absolution
I am a real-life ordained minister. Post your sin using the link on the right to be absolved.

<snip>

March 4
Homeless people are eyeing my sandwich

I just got a foot-long sub loaded with goodness, as well as a big bag of chips. I was eating half when I drove by a homeless person with a sign. I could have given him my other half a sandwich, or even the chips. But I didn’t. In fact, I tried not to even look at him as I proceeded to dribble mayonnaise down my chin and gobble down turkey and pepper jack. I ended up eating the whole thing. Am I a bad person?

You’re not a bad person, just a hungry one. And if it eases your guilt, thanks to the cheese and mayo, the homeless guy will probably outlive you.

<snip>

March 4
Thinking evil thoughts

All day at work I think evil and violent thoughts about what I would like to do to people. For example, I would really like to take my letter opener and jam it through this woman’s throat who has a laugh like Fran on “The Nanny.” It would be a mercy killing, right?

As long as you don’t act on them, the feelings are perfectly natural. And as far as the woman who laughs like Fran, check Leviticus. That book offers excuses to attack everybody. I’m not entirely sure, but you might have cause to stone her.

More:
http://digitalabsolution.tumblr.com/

Hat-tip to: http://twitter.com/BrianDunning/status/10087297123



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EvolveOrConvolve Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-06-10 05:50 PM
Response to Original message
1. I'm laughing so hard right now!
"When a car is parked too close to mine in a parking lot, I purposefully slam my door into the side of the other car. If it doesn’t leave a scratch or a dent, I do it again, but harder."

"Perhaps you should get a Jeep with those canvas doors. Or some therapy."

:rofl:
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damyank913 Donating Member (595 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-06-10 06:58 PM
Response to Original message
2. I wonder if he's got any indulgences for sale...
I need some god-sanctioned party time.
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LAGC Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-06-10 10:18 PM
Response to Original message
3. Reminds me of apolo.gy
http://apolo.gy/

Except only "small sin" confessions are allowed on there, apparently. Nothing big like murder.
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EvolveOrConvolve Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-07-10 01:44 AM
Response to Original message
4. Hey, they posted my sin!
It's the one about Leave It To Beaver.
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