Rate your favorite TV evangelist!

[onager]

:rofl:

Why did it take me so long to discover this? What a great, time-wasting tool for a Fundamentalist Atheist!

Rate-It-All.com has a rating section for "TV evangelists." ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY-THREE (173!!!) of the buggers currently have reviews and ratings.

As a baseline, first I checked the ratings for Billy Graham. A small sample of responses:

#1...Where he goes wrong is his life outside the pulpit..He is a 33 degree Mason!! Masonry is totally anti christian and the roots of this society is Satanic!!

#2. I am presently reading Frank Schaeffer's work, "Crazy for God." He comments on what a weird duck Billy is. One thing that struck me. Graham pulled his 17 year old daughter out of Wheaton College and arranged a marriage with a rich Armenian domiciled in Switzerland who was twenty years her senior. She never met the man until Billy introduced them.

#3. jesus h. christ how old is this old fart? hasn't he scammed enough money to get into heaven yet? and take your goofy son with you...

#4. The only one in this list with a modicum of integrity. Still completely wrong of course because there is no God.

Then I checked a guy that I just saw for the first time, Kerry Shook Ministries in Texas. He's sure pissed off some Xians:

Kerry is good. Damn good. I used to go to his church, until I got an invoice in the mail after I gave a check for donation once. Guess he got my name from the check.

He figured how much I should be tithing from my check amount and sent me a bill! Can you believe the GAUL of this guy!

{The GAUL? "Veni, vidi, vici" - your wallet, sucker!)

My mom donated 5K and never got a thank you card. They used to live on my street in 158K house and then they moved into an 800K house. What the hell?

My girlfriend was there for years and when she asked them for help once with a deteriorating house after her husband split and left her with a kid, they would never return her calls. She justed needed a little help from their carpenter ministry. WHAT A CROCK OF SHIT.

Well, the original "carpenter ministry" didn't work out so well, either...

http://www.rateitall.com/t-782-tv-evangelists.aspx

[Warpy]

1. Oh, great find

and I suppose I'll desecrate what's left of the Sabbath there.

Pat Robertson, first review: "He squeezes his eyes shut so hard every time he prays it looks like he's taking the biggest dump of his life. One day he might squeeze so hard that the vessels in his brain will explode."

[Walk away]

2. Come on everyone! Jan Crouch needs your help! She #39 but your vote can put her over the top!

Masses of pink hair and god's word! <>

[onager]

4. The Crouch Xmas Special is a must-see!

I caught an unforgettable one a few years ago. They had this weird pianist who resembled the bastard offspring of Liberace and Keith Richards. HUGE diamond rings on every finger. Just a slimy-looking character. When he accompanied the children's choir, his facial expressions made him look like a walking Amber Alert.

Then Paul and Jan took us thru their shop full of Jesus-junk, peddling all manner of tacky Xian tchotkes "just in time for Xmas."

Jan seemed to be HEAVILY medicated, and kept missing responses to Paul's verbal cues. "Isn't this NICE, Jan?" /crickets

Paul got visibly upset with her on-camera. I thought he might haul off and bop her upside the head with the Life-Size Baby Jesus ($89.95, all major credit cards accepted).

[Walk away]

7. I am crying! Did you know that Jan raised her pet chicken from the dead?

It was her first miracle as a child!

[dixiegrrrrl]

3. My favorite one is Billy Graham. You know why?

Cause he is dead but he still writes his weekly column in our newspaper.
Now, what does THAT tell you about the power of everlasting life, huh?

:evilgrin:

damn...apparently he is NOT dead, completely. He is 91.
I wonder if he knows who he is???

[onager]

5. I think those columns have been re-cycled for YEARS.

If I had the time/curiosity, I would save them and check that.

I also suspect many of those things are completely made up and fictitious. I remember a hilarious column that purported to be a response to an atheist. The gist was that even atheists have to believe in something, so they might as well believe in a solid, established brand name like Jesus.

You're right, BG has been noticably declining for a long time. I think they occasionally haul him out for a brief appearance at the "Crusades," but I'm not sure if even that's possible any more.

Even my Mom, a fairly devout Southern Baptist, gripes about the Graham organization. Many years ago, she sent them a small donation. She's still on their mailing list and gets constant begging letters.

[nealmhughes]

6. I adore the dead ones, myself.

They do more for advancing Christ's actual message than the live ones put together.