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pokerfan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-26-10 05:29 PM
Original message
Is this child abuse?
http://friendlyatheist.com/2010/04/26/ask-richard-atheist%e2%80%99s-parents-say-they-can-be-damned-to-hell-because-of-him/">Atheist’s Parents Say They Can Be Damned to Hell Because of Him

During my childhood, I was regularly told by my parents that they would be judged on how I lived my life. This was an awful prospect for me. Hell was a scary destination, but personally going to hell was outweighed by the thoughts of my parents being sent there through my actions or sinful behavior.
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rug Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-26-10 05:33 PM
Response to Original message
1. Considering he's 7 years past high school, no.
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ZombieHorde Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-26-10 05:40 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. The letter was written 7 years past high school, the incident happened before this time.
From the link...

"During my childhood, I was regularly told by my parents that they would be judged on how I lived my life. This was an awful prospect for me. Hell was a scary destination, but personally going to hell was outweighed by the thoughts of my parents being sent there through my actions or sinful behavior."
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troubledamerican Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-26-10 10:45 PM
Response to Reply #1
10. He had those same parents when he was 7 years old. Maybe they were different then?
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ZombieHorde Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-26-10 05:43 PM
Response to Original message
3. Probably. nt
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Chulanowa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-26-10 05:46 PM
Response to Original message
4. Telling any kid that there's a place of eternal torture waiting for them if they misbehave is abuse
For some reason we won't let a mother say "if you don't stop screaming I'm going to set you on fire!" but we accept "if you don't stop screaming, god wil lset you onfire!"

is it just because even the religious don't really believe in hell? What's up with that?
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TheDebbieDee Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-26-10 05:47 PM
Response to Original message
5. By instilling this fear of sending his parents to hell.........
his parents were exercising a form of control. While this may or may not be child abuse, at the very least, it is still a misuse of the trust/bond that exist between people with an emotional bond or attachment.
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demigoddess Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-26-10 06:03 PM
Response to Original message
6. emotional blackmail at the least
I wouldn't do it. And my kids aren't canonizing me any time soon.
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laconicsax Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-26-10 06:12 PM
Response to Original message
7. Yep.
Threatening a child with infinite punishment for finite transgression is reprehensible and making it punishment by proxy doesn't make it any better.
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iris27 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-26-10 08:05 PM
Response to Original message
8. It's certainly emotional manipulation.
I'm a poor judge of whether or not something is abuse, because I grew up with a great deal of "gray area" parenting, so I'll refrain from giving an answer on that.

But thanks for the link! Friendly Atheist looks like an interesting blog.
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Orrex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-26-10 09:09 PM
Response to Original message
9. I'm betting that they were using him as a scapegoat.
They knew that they'd lived a life of excess and debauchery beyond the ability of even the Almighty to forgive, but they were unwilling to face up to it.

So they blamed their non-believing son instead.


Child abuse? Not sure. It's certainly a cruel variation on the standard parental guilt trip, though.

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autorank Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-27-10 12:21 AM
Response to Original message
11. My mother told me Hell didn't exist. It was just to scare people.
When she was asked the Hell question in the Sunday school class that she taught for years, she'd say, 'God is too good for that.' Very impressive.

However, I was curious and read about the Episcopal Church's position on redemption through the sacrifice of Jesus or through good works. I came down on the side of good works at that time, the same position that you said terrifies you. I quickly lost any belief in the superstitions of the after left so it really didn't bother me much.

One person's anxiety is another person's investigation.
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Meshuga Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-27-10 08:43 AM
Response to Original message
12. It is psychological abuse
My wife was raised Catholic and later converted to Judaism but she says she still carries some baggage from her childhood. While she claims that she does not believe in the teachings of the Catholic Church any longer, she confesses that sometimes she has deep down irrational fear that was instilled in her when she was a little girl. So the fear and guilt can persist in adulthood when they are components of your childhood.

Besides the psychological baggage sometimes you get the physical baggage as well. My wife complains that her current back problems are due to the nuns in her Catholic school telling her to sit in a certain way in order to make room for her guardian angel.
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gl_5500 Donating Member (11 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-27-10 11:34 PM
Response to Original message
13. most definitely
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