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I think everyone has to come to certain conclusions about the universe on their own. If you think you're a theist (of whatever stripe) and you find that fulfills you and gives you a sense of peace, go with God. If you're atheist and again, that fills you with peace, I'm happy for you. One of my main objectives when talking to someone who is trying to clarify their thinking on this topic is always to help the other person see what they think they are reaching for, as best as I understand from what they're saying. Every person is a unique creation and if I can, I like to help them become that. Deciding to be spiritual or not is only one aspect of that goal.
I'm a very curious person. I'm always interesting in learning new ideas and facts, from all sources, theist and atheist. I read all kinds of things. I thing Great Truth™ can come from any source and it is my responsibility as a thinking human being to suss out what is true for me and what is not. If I find something True, IOW it works for me, it becomes part of my understanding and belief system. If it's not true for me, I don't get mad either at the idea itself or the person who passed it on to me. I simply don't pursue it any further. My objective when entering discussions is always for understanding. If it reaches the level of argument, I argue to be understood, but not to convert.
Personally, one of the things that left me feeling upset with the R&T forum, and which is why I rarely come here, is the distinct feeling that I was supposed to be an apologist for fundamentalists so that the more angry folks could work out their past hurt issues, kinda like therapy. A stand-in punching bag. Right away I was asked, sometimes obviously, sometimes the person didn't realize they're doing it, to speak from a rhetorical position that was foreign to me.
Ah couple of things here, right off the bat:
1) I'm not a fundamentalist. Hell, I'm not even conservative, theologically. 2) I don't know, nor have I ever known any fundamentalists. I do know several people I would classify as conservative, however. And yes, I've lived in the South most of my life. Go figure.
So, I can't speak for fundamentalists, or tell you how they think, or why they do things they do. They really are outside my religious and spiritual experience. Conservatives I do have some clue about, but fundies no.
I felt inadequate and unprepared to deal with that; I'll be honest. My counseling skills are not great (see the DU Loners Group) And no, I'm not naming names. That would betray a confidence and I won't do that. Also, it's against DU rules.
I used to get very upset at this; I've been at DU since spring 2002. But I thought more about it, and realized part of it might be (correct me if I'm wrong) that offline we just don't get a chance to discuss this stuff in any meaningful way, so we lack the language to do so courteously. I have noticed in several people I've met who now identify as atheist that they grew up very conservative Catholic, or protestant fundamentalist. So they appear to me to be as adamantly atheist in the present as they were once religiously zealous. An effort to restore some balance, maybe? In any event, my hope is always that they work it out to gain some measure of peace because these experiences obviously left them feeling very hurt and scarred. I will help if I can, but I can't be a punching bag. I'm not strong in that way. Sometimes I wish I were.
Again, these are things I have observed with trying to talk about religious subjects with some atheists here on DU. YMMV. Or my mileage may vary with you, whichever.
I always enjoy discussing ideas, including spiritual ones. It would help me greatly if, in the future, we could just say, "Well, from my POV........ " or "This is what I've expereinced.." I think that would get us out of a lot of unnecessarily hurtful situations.
We are all obviously liberals, active ones at that, otherwise we wouldn't be at DU. There's no good reason for us not to get along.
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