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DATE TO SAVE: Dating to Save People from Hell

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beam me up scottie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-15-06 03:52 AM
Original message
DATE TO SAVE: Dating to Save People from Hell
WELCOME TO DATE TO SAVE!!!

Hello, my name is Tamara! As you can probably tell, I'm a Christian woman who loves Jesus Christ and cares for all humans, even the wicked. What you probably don't know is that I'm hot. My picture below isn't really that good. I want to use my beauty for GOD, and want to encourage Christian women (my sisters in Christ) to do the same, according to the Great Commission.



Calling all Hot Women of the LORD!!!

So, I created this web page for information regarding the calling of Missionary Dating. First of all, it helps that you're good looking. Romans 12:1 says "to offer your bodies as living sacrifices." Since our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor. 6:19), it makes sense that we should use our beautiful bodies to glorify HIS name, the Holy Spirit will work the strongest since He's in our body, right? That's the best position to be in!

Not only can we date hot guys (as only hot Christian girls could do), but hopefully we can lead them to God and help them get saved them from the burning fires of Hell. I've outlined a few tips to help you get a date off to the right start, step-by-step. Jesus saves through hooking up with cute heathen guys!

Also, if you believe in this evangelistic dating ministry and feel led to support it, I have a few shirts and other stuff you can get to show your support. Click Here (thanks to Jeff for the cool pictures and setting up the store. He was my 3rd missionary date. I don't love him anymore, but Jesus still does). Oh, also thanks to Tony for helping me put together this web page for me. Sorry for being so internet dumb. He's so darling. Remember, Jesus loves you!

http://datetosave.com/



10 DATING TIPS

"2. If he wants to hold your hand...
Give him a Bible."

http://datetosave.com/christian_dating_tips.shtml




Questions About Missionary Dating

"I think I'm in love, but I don't think my boyfriend is going to become a Christian... What do I do?

This happens all the time... but here's a failproof solution: just tell him that you're going to date Jesus for a while. This will help you get your priorities straight while you look for another hot guy to date, and it will show your ex-boyfriend how much Jesus means to you. What a great witness!"

http://www.flirttoconvert.com/


:rofl:
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Starbucks Anarchist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-15-06 03:56 AM
Response to Original message
1. I wonder if Hell is filled with people like this.
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Goblinmonger Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-19-06 01:04 PM
Response to Reply #1
22. I sure hope not
because I don't want to spend an eternity with their lot :evilgrin:
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Cooley Hurd Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-15-06 04:01 AM
Response to Original message
2. "Missionary Dating?" Doesn't that mean you went all the way...
...on the first date (as opposed to "Doggie-style" dating)?:rofl:
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dipsydoodle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-15-06 04:09 AM
Response to Original message
3. If he wants to hold your hand
he probably wants to give you one.

Is this posting a joke ? We're well past April 1st. Other than that it more than likely a Nigerian fraud.
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MrMonk Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-15-06 04:23 AM
Response to Original message
4. Satire
Edited on Sat Apr-15-06 04:29 AM by MrMonk
http://www.cafepress.com/datetosave.11515867

Tamara's site satirizes the earnestness of the "missionary" and missionary dating. The www.flirttoconvert.com site appears to be part of the game.

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ClintonTyree Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-15-06 05:13 AM
Response to Reply #4
7. I was wondering.........
this certainly looked like satire, especially when one of the supposedly female posters typed, "wooot" in her post. It's getting harder and harder every day to separate fact from fiction when it comes to fundies. Their off the wall beliefs and antics are sometimes so unbelievable it's hard to tell if someone is ragging on them or not.

I don't doubt that there IS some loony organization out there that actually tries these tactics though. I put nothing beyond their totally skewed and insane "beliefs" any more.
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SheWhoMustBeObeyed Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-15-06 05:39 AM
Response to Reply #7
8. Yes, there was a loony organization that did this
They called themselves the Children of God - more info in post #6.

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Dogmudgeon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-15-06 06:27 AM
Response to Reply #4
12. It SCREAMS "satire"
It's funny, swearin' on a stack o' bibles ... but it's satire.

Besides, most fundamentalist Christians are already so horny they could burst at the seams. If you ever are in serious need of hot sex with someone who's reasonably pretty/handsome and who will blame themselves and not you when things don't work out, hang out in a Bible college cafe with a hard-luck story on your lips and some condoms in your backpack.

:rofl: just won't do.

This calls for

:evilgrin:

--p!
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greekspeak Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-15-06 06:36 AM
Response to Reply #12
13. Life in ShrubCo Brand America screams "satire" but it is real
Of course, that is where the satire is most biting...when it hits the closest to reality. I can imagine, in a culture obsessed both with piety and cheap sex, that something like this would actually happen.
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TheBaldyMan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-15-06 07:10 AM
Response to Reply #12
16. that is pure evil PW rofl n/t
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NMMNG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-15-06 04:31 AM
Response to Original message
5. I can't imagine she gets many second dates
:rofl:
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SheWhoMustBeObeyed Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-15-06 04:44 AM
Response to Original message
6. Hilarious, till I got to the forums
It wasn't just the attacks on the humor-free Christians who couldn't figure out that the site is a joke, but the hate posted against gays and Muslims (and probably others - got tired of reading the threads) that made me stop laughing.

Maybe the hate posts are a joke too, and I just don't get it; I'm aware that young people entertain themselves with vicious insults that would have gotten them stomped into dust in my day. Where is the smilie for things that go over your head?

Also back in my day there was a worldwide religious cult, loosely based on Christianity, that seriously practiced the concept of "date to save." The Children of God - who have changed their name to The Family - encouraged their female members to lure prospects into the fold by fucking them. They called it "flirty fishing" and it effectively reduced female followers to the rank of prostitute; however, that was an honor in the eyes of COG's founder, David Berg aka Moses David, a sick fuck who also sanctioned sex with children and between children. (One of his sons, who was anointed to become The Family's leader after Berg's death, committed suicide just a few years ago as a result of his upbringing.) Though they have supposedly renounced these perversions, this cult is still active. You can find many links to pro- and anti-Family sites by googling "children of god."



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ingac70 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-15-06 05:40 AM
Response to Original message
9. The Children of God call this "flirty fishing"....
Calling all Hot Women of the LORD!!! :wtf:
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Maraya1969 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-15-06 05:45 AM
Response to Original message
10. Some Comments from one of the threads.
I reading that people here think this is a parody site. I didn't get it. Trust me some Christians are REALLY crazy. Remember that one cult where they had young girls go out and sleep with men and called them "fishing for Jesus"


http://www.datetosave.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=496


I, though, have come up with a better idea, along with my wife.
When my son is born, his name will be, in these exact words, "Jesus Deuteronomy Chase." His middle name will be deuteronomy due to my liking of that book in the Bible.


Stealing the Lord's name and giving it to a human child is blasphemy. I hate the spics for doing it, and I'm surprised the niggers haven't started it also. You will go to hell if you go through with it.


I bet you're a filthy kike, aren't you? It was your kind that murdered the Savior.
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Jemmons Donating Member (407 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-15-06 05:48 AM
Response to Original message
11. If he asks to come inside...
...tell him that you are protected ;)
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TallahasseeGrannie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-15-06 06:45 AM
Response to Original message
14. I think this is a parody
but funny!
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jimshoes Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-15-06 07:09 AM
Response to Original message
15. Step 2
Date over. Here's your book back.
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varkam Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-15-06 01:24 PM
Response to Original message
17. I really wasn't sure if it was parody or not...
Seemed way the hell out there to me, but I wouldn't put it past some of those Fundies. I can totally see some re-born doing something like that. But, like others on here have mentioned, the forums kind of killed the mood for me. Lots of either a)Christians who are taking offense, b)Immature atheists who are poking fun at them (I thought about posting a thing or two...), or c) people posting things like this. Ugh.

Although the forums did have a link in it to Terry Schiavo's Blog - that made me smile again.
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Bassic Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-19-06 12:40 PM
Response to Reply #17
19. These people have no idea what it means to be Christian
Just like Osama and the like have no idea what it means to be a Muslim.

I pity them, though. One can not become so filled with hate without having had a horrible experience in life. Others may just be plain stupid. Which I also pity.
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Bassic Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-19-06 12:36 PM
Response to Original message
18. I'm afraid to ask but,
This is a joke right?

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Strong Atheist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-19-06 12:50 PM
Response to Original message
20. You. Have. Got. To. Be. F*ing. Kidding.
:wow:
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LaurenG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-19-06 01:02 PM
Response to Original message
21. Fundies are quite annoying
I feel really bad just reading this.
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TreasonousBastard Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-19-06 02:54 PM
Response to Original message
23. "Annabella" makes her second try at...
getting a serious answer:

"Anyway (this is the weird part) he then said to me that if I were willing to make a personal sacrifice of my beliefs, just once, then he would be willing to renounce Islam and become a Christian. Well obviously I was ecstatic but then I asked him what he wanted me to do and this is the difficult bit. He said he would only do this if I were to have sex with him He said we only have to do it once, but that that would be enough to show him that I was truly dedicated to him and that I was worth changing his religion for.
I was totally shocked obviously because, being a devout Christian, I have no intention of having pre-marital sex. I told him I'd have to think baout it, I didn't know what to say, then I left.
So, for all the serious Christians here, should I do it?
I know it's a terrible sin, but if I can convert him to Jesus then isn't a worthwhile sacrifice? Once he's a Christian then we can get married and so in a way it wont even be pre-marital sex as such. What do you guys think?"

(Some people just have far too much time on their hands.)
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Goblinmonger Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-19-06 03:28 PM
Response to Reply #23
24. Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!
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trotsky Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-19-06 04:09 PM
Response to Reply #24
25. My lame attempt at an Evoman play.
Muslim: Hey baby, sleep with me and I'll become a Christian!
Naive Christian Chick (NCC): Ummm... well, OK!
<action>
NCC: So, want to go to church with me on Sunday?
Muslim: No way, slut! Insha Allah!

THE END
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Random_Australian Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-19-06 09:25 PM
Response to Original message
26. Oh bloody hell, PORN IN THE FORUM!
Here's the forum overview:
http://www.datetosave.com/forums/viewforum.php?f=1
I'm out!
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beam me up scottie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-19-06 09:30 PM
Response to Reply #26
27. I saw that!!!
Here are some of the replies:

Can god make himself not exist?

but who will save the lesbians?

Suck a Santa for Christmas

Do the Jesus Dance.....


and my personal favorite:

Tam, grab on tight, and save the Hell out of me...
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