Oh the humanity!!!

[beam me up scottie]

I just love the Weekly World News.:)

[Jaundice James]

1. My girlfriend makes fun of me...

because I just call it "the news."

Hey, it was good enough for Fox Mulder.

-JJ

[beam me up scottie]

5. The only part about grocery shopping

I've ever enjoyed. :D

[countmyvote4real]

2. It's already a classic episode open of Six Feet Under.

For those unfamiliar with the series about a family funeral home, each episode begins with a "guest player" death(s) that's brought to the (by this time) Fisher & Diaz Funeral home for burial. I have no doubt that many of these story lines were inspired by published events, but I just can't say which came first when it comes to the Weekly World News.

Season 4, Episode 2: "In case of rapture"
Original airdate: 6/20/2004

[beam me up scottie]

6. Someday I'll have to start

collecting episodes via bit torrent.

One of the (very) few things I actually miss about tv.

[countmyvote4real]

16. Until then, can you recommend any other incidents of false rapture?

Any media that works for you, in this case, would be much welcomed. What do you recommend?

[beam me up scottie]

19. How about this ?

Matthew 24:29-30, 16:27
'Immeditaely after the suffering of those days, they will see the Son of Man arriving on the clouds of the sky with his angels, with power and great glory.'




Matthew 24:31
'And he will send his angels with a loud trumpet blast.'





Mark 13:27
'And they will gather his elect from the four winds, from the ends of the earth to the ends of heaven.'

http://www.thebricktestament.com/the_life_of_jesus/the_end_of_the_world/mk13_27.html

[bluesbassman]

21. Hey! I know some of those guys!

Me and that dude with the horn were in the same band a few years back. B-)

[beam me up scottie]

22. I just adore The Brick Testament.

You can get lost there, he's added so much to it.

[varkam]

3. BMUS! You're back!

I love the picture of Jesus mean-muggin' it.

[beam me up scottie]

4. I KNOW!!!

They're SO good with the little details...


Thanks, btw, glad to be back.

[NMMNG]

7. ........

his wife began screaming that she had seen Jesus--and that the souls of the righteous were already ascending to Heaven.

So the righteous are now all dressed like strippers? It would seem heaven has modified its standards. :rofl:

[beam me up scottie]

8. Talk about your straight man's wet dream...

yeah, we all prance around in sexy lingerie when we get home, too... :rofl:

[NMMNG]

9. I'm no straight man

But I find it very appealing myself.


(It's a scene from the movie Twin Peaks Fire Walk With Me)

[beam me up scottie]

12. BWAHAHAHA !!!

I wear t-shirts, boxers and bunny slippers to bed.

Well, I take off the bunny slippers before I get under the covers.

I might wake up and scare myself half to death, otherwise.

Too many werewolf movies...

[NMMNG]

13. In the summer I wear a t-shirt and shorts to bed

In the winter I wear one of my PJ sets. If I had a reason to wear sexy lingerie or penoire sets I'd wear them but right now I dress for comfort and security. (If my home gets invaded I feel more secure in full PJs/top and shorts than lingerie.)

[beam me up scottie]

14. Exactly right.

Does anyone really think teddies are comfortable to sleep in?

Hell, I grew up in Vermont. If you didn't sleep with two layers on and a couple of dogs and cats for added warmth in the winter, you'd never live long enough to see spring.

[NMMNG]

15. I grew up in Mass.

I know exactly what you mean. At least half of the year is spent in a deep freeze so no flimsy lingerie will do any good. The house I grew up in was so old and poorly insulated I'd often sleep in sweatsuits, and in the mornings I'd change my clothes under my covers in bed. It was farking cold!

[beam me up scottie]

17. Yep.

Drafty old farm houses. Gotta love them.

Builds character, remember?

I had the job of getting up first and firing up the wood stove.

I'm going to die on a warm beach somewhere if I have anything to say about it.

[NMMNG]

18. For nearly 15 years I wanted to move to the southwest

I love the red-rock desert and the heat. Now that I know it's nothing but freepers I want to cry. :cry:

[beam me up scottie]

20. Even New Mexico?

I thought there was a blue stronghold there.

[NMMNG]

23. They had been pretty blue

But they shifted red during the '04 election. x(


Of course if all else fails there's "Sin City". Even if NV is a red state, Las Vegas is no land of uptight fundie repression. I could probably live there quite comfortably.

[Evoman]

35. Wusses, both of you.

Try a Canadian plains winter. I go to Mass during winter for the great sun and nice heat!

[bluesbassman]

10. Is this what caused that wreck in the other picture?

I can't be 100% certain, but I'm pretty sure that angels don't wear garter belts and fishnet stockings. Wait a minute, come to think of it there was that time in Kansas City.....:evilgrin:

[beam me up scottie]

11. ROFLMAO !!!

Yep, that was it.

:rofl:

[SPKrazy]

24. Oh My Gawd!

I laughed, and laughed

I told people about it


I e-mailed it

That is hilarious (and sick of me to laugh at the lady's death) but oh my Gawd!

:rofl:

[SPKrazy]

25. Too Bad It's A Hoax, It Was Too Funny To Be Real

but at least no one died:

AMERICAN MISCHIEF maker Elroy Ellis posted a bogus
news story on his web site just to see how
long it would take for the story to fly. Not
long at all. The English tabloid Weekly World picked
it up and ran with his story in October, in a
news item sub-headed 'Granny mistakes sex dolls
for angels and dies trying to follow inflatable
floozies into heaven.' The "story" was this:
'A grandmother was killed in a 16-car pile up
when she leapt from her car in a failed attempt to
ascend into heaven. Geraldine Salstice (75)
jumped from her sunroof when she saw dozens
of helium-filled sex dolls escape from the back of a
truck, mistaking the event for the Rapture.
"He has come at last. Thank God and the
heavenly hosts. He is here!" she cried before leaping
to her death.' Nice one, Elroy.

[bluesbassman]

26. Buzzkill. n/t

[SPKrazy]

28. Buzzkill, That's Me!

I was laughing soooo hard about this several times today

someone else googled the name of the woman and found that it was a hoax

[beam me up scottie]

30. It's a sad state of affairs

when we actually believe someone would do this.

After the last five years, nothing would surprise me.

[beam me up scottie]

27. I'm sorry.

I thought everyone knew about the Weekly World News, home of Batboy.

None of it is true, but who cares?

We can all use a laugh right now, eh?

[bluesbassman]

29. Sometimes it's all we got kiddo. n/t

[beam me up scottie]

31. Yes, especially lately.

This forum is great when you need to tune out what's going on in the real world.

[bluesbassman]

33. Oh great, thanks BMUS.

Now you've gone and shattered my illusion. Here all this time I thought this was the real world.:freak:

[NMMNG]

34. The WWN is fake?

You mean Marilyn Monroe wasn't bitten by a vampire, then killed by the Secret Service so she wouldn't bite JFK and turn him into a vampire too?


Man, I am so disappointed. :cry:

[varkam]

32. No Effing Way!

It's a HOAX?! I don't believe it. I mean, come on! This is the Weekly World News for chrissakes!

:eyes:

[TechBear_Seattle]

36. WWW stole this story from a great parodyist, Elroy Willis

The original story was written by Elroy Willis for the EAP (Evil Atheist Press) "newswire;" it first appeared on the Usenet group, alt.atheism. Snopes has the tale: http://www.snopes.com/religion/rapture.htm