Tennessee Vols fan application

[underpants]

Name ___________________________
CB Handle _______________________

Neck Shade:
_____ Light Red
_____ Medium Red
_____ Dark Red

Number of Teeth in exposed full grin: (Neither can exceed 3)
Upper _____
Lower _____

Mobile Home Color:
_____ Two-Tone, Brown and White
_____ Two-Tone, Pink and White
_____ Faded Orange

Model of Pickup Truck:____________________
Size of Tires: ______________________
Length of Right Leg: ________________
Length of Left Leg ________________

Note: To be accepted, you must be honest, and you must be able to check at least 20 items from the questions below. Note that good Volunteer fans can sometimes check many answers for some of the questions.

I am in love with:
___ My Right Hand
___ My Left Hand
___ Both Hands
My favorite music is:
___ Country
___ Western
___ Anything played on an accordion
My favorite meal is:
___ Sow Belly and Moonshine
___ Venison Sausage & Moonshine
___ tv dinner & Moonshine
___ Pickled Pigs' Feet
___ 7 Courses: Swine and Six-Pack
___ $5.99 Fish Fry
Preferred Weapon:
___ 12 Guage
___ Tire Iron
___ Forehead
___ Chain Saw
___ your Gums
Primary Auto:
___ '67 Ford Galaxy
___ '67 Ford Galaxy with Transmission
___ '67 Ford Galaxy with '73 Chevy Impala Transmission
___ '67 Ford Galaxy with '73 Chevy Impala Transmission and '71 Buick Wagon Engine
I usually greet people by saying:
___ Howdy
___ Dem Volunteers is playing like a bunch of Old Women
___ Dey should take da whole bunch a dem Nashville liberals and just linem up and shootem
I can count to:
___ 10
___ 20, if I take off my boots
___ 21, if I get neked
I am:
___
___ Just willing to learn
Favorite Reading:
___ Fishing Facts
___ Beer Bottle Labels
___ Guns and Ammo
___ Today's Mercenary
___ Chewing Tobacco Digest
Things in my front yard:
___ Various Kitchen Appliances
___ Car on Blocks
___ Transmissions
___ Deer hanging from tree limb (in-season)
___ Deer hanging from tree limb (out of season)
My favorite female in the world is:
___ My Sister
___ My Mother
___ Both, because my sister is my mother
I mostly wear:
___ Polyester pants with snags
___ Polyester pants with holes
___ Volunteer Belt Buckle
The most memorable event I ever attended:
___ Wild Boar call competition
___ Omega Outboard Motor Repair Finals
___ Franklin Bowl hair cut Championships
___ Carp Queen Beauty Contest
___ Spread Eagle International ____proctologists Convention
My favorite entertainment is:
___ Deer hunting while drinking
___ Watching Green Acres reruns while drinking
___ riding a donkey while drinking
Pick one:
___ Someone is helping me read this
___ Someone is reading this for me

[trotsky]

1. You ever see that site...

where someone took a picture of a dejected Vol fan couple and photoshopped them into a number of different backgrounds? If not, sorry I don't have the link but it was damn funny. I think the guy who did it was a Gator fan.

[Dawgs]

2. Actually, I think it was a dawg fan(Georgia)...

Either way. It was really funny...

[underpants]

4. lulu and junior .com

http://www.luluandjunior.com/




Someday Phil (Fullmer)will be up there.

[trotsky]

5. That's it! LMAO

hehehehe

[Awsi Dooger]

7. What happened to the music on that site?

Underpants linked that site a couple of years ago and it busted me up. But they used to play the Rocky Top song as soon as the site loaded, a hysterical bonus.

Phil Fullmer is within a few buffets of them, based on the last time I saw him.

[underpants]

8. It was playing for me when I clicked on it

I dunno check your speakers.

[Awsi Dooger]

10. Huh, might be a Mac glitch involving Safari

I just got the sound to work on that site using Internet Explorer. But it's totally silent on two Macs using the Apple-based browser Safari. Never encountered that before. At least not knowingly. Maybe all these websites are trying to yak at me.

[sidwill]

3. Q: Whats the first thing an SEC girl says after having sex?

A: Daddy, daddy get up of'n me, you is mashin ma cigarretes!

This applies to any SEC team except Vanderbilt, but it especially applies to Bama, UF, and UT.

[underpants]

9. Bubba and Junior at the flagpole

Two Volunteer fans, Bubba and Junior, were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.

A blonde lady walked by and asked what they were doing.

"We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder."

The lady took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took one measurement, and said, "Eighteen feet, six inches", and walked away.

Junior shook his head and laughed, "Ain't that just like a dumb blonde! We asked for the height and she gives us the length!"

[KitchenWitch]

6. Are you sure that isn't the Green Bay Packer fan application

:evilgrin: