Criminal Case Of USA v. Steroid-Using Liar Barry Bonds Begins

[joeybee12]

SAN FRANCISCO—Barry Bonds, the San Francisco Giants outfielder who in 2007 capped his 22-year baseball career by becoming the MLB's all-time home run leader, arrived in Courtroom 10 of the Phillip Burton Federal Courthouse at 8 a.m. Monday to appear in Case No. 3:07-cr-00732-SI, USA v. Steroid-Using Liar Barry Bonds.

The prosecution has charged Bonds with four counts of perjury and one count of obstructing justice for allegedly lying to a grand jury about his use of performance-enhancing drugs. Bonds' lawyers stated in a press release yesterday they were confident they would receive a "quick and clear acquittal" for their "dishonest cheater of a client."

Jury selection took up most of the first day, with the two sides eventually settling on eight women and four men who, they mutually stated in a court document, would "do their best to consider the case of lying, steroid-using, baseball-ruining asshole Barry Bonds with fairness and impartiality."

"Your job is to determine if the defendant, the cheating liar known as Mr. Barry Bonds, did in fact commit perjury when he lied under oath in 2003," Judge Susan Illston said as she swore in the jury. "Ignore the painfully obvious fact of his steroid use unless it becomes germane to these proceedings—unless, for example, said obvious steroid use is something this liar lied about while committing his alleged

http://www.onionsportsnetwork.com/articles/criminal-case-of-usa-v-steroidusing-liar-barry-bon,19826/

:rofl:

[Forkboy]

1. ...

:spray:

[Jack Rabbit]

2. I take it that you don't expect to serve on the jury

That's OK, I also think he's guilty as hell.