Nebraska Cornhuskers picked to Win Big 10 football championship

[SpiralHawk]

Top sports experts in Spiral Hawk's brilliant & astute brain prophesied on April 1 that the universally beloved Nebraska HUSKERS would totally smash their way through the 2011 college football season undefeated, and destroy the Big 10 on their way to a National Title.

Suck the Big Red One, you dooshballs.

[Condem]

1. Your official welcome will be July 1, Spiral, but here's something to keep you going.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/college/chi-spt-tom-osborne-qa,0,5608893.column Interesting.

[SpiralHawk]

2. April 1 is never too early to be ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN of your team's DESTINY

From the Trib interview with Nebraska AD Tom Osborne:

Q: The William Jennings Bryan quote ("Destiny is Not a Matter of Chance. It is a Matter of Choice") on the outside of the building, how was that chosen?

A: I wasn't the one who chose it. I think that was the previous athletic director, Steve Pederson. This building was not built while I was here. I was in Congress at the time.

Q: How do you feel about the quote?

A: It's something that has never resonated with me all that much.

[Mudoria]

3. The statue of the player looks like a zombie...

[SpiralHawk]

4. Art is in the eye of the beholder (Osborne thinks it sucks, too)

And yet: Victory shall be in the Hands of the Huskers, as the April 1 Zombie Prophets infallibly declaim.

[El Supremo]

5. Is the coach showing the QB where the goal line is?

As for the quote: Does Nebraska not teach evolution?

[SpiralHawk]

6. Ontology recapitualtes phylogeny, as they say

...meaning that while Texicans, alas, remain mired in primoridal ooze, Huskerians are ascending to the pinnacle of Gridiron Development: The bIg tEn.