A personal story about what really matters:

[LWolf]

A grievous, and yet uplifting, thing has happened this week. I have been carrying it close to my heart all week, and today realized that it illustrates a point about what really matters in public education, so I thought I would share it.

The background: Back in the early 80s, I was an instructional aide at a local elementary school, a part-time college student, and a full time mom to two young children. The district I worked for piloted a new program, in a new school, and I put my oldest son in that school. He started as a 2nd grader.

It was a K-8 school, and he was in the first class of 8th graders to "graduate." By that time, I'd been working as a library tech in that school for several years, still a part-time college student. I knew every student by name, and many of the 8th grade class were friends of my son. Some of their parents were colleagues. We were a very close knit community.

The original program this school began with was by this time defunct. Like most new programs, it blazed through and burned out with little notice. What happened, though, in this little school, was the building of community. A structure that allowed for each staff member to build a longer-term, closer relationship with each student. When that first 8th grade class graduated, we gathered with tears and joy to celebrate and send them out into the future.

As the years went by, and the standards and accountability movement moved in, the school was restructured several times, with staff transferred around the district until the school was gradually "standardized." We all moved on, I gained my teaching credential, and kids grew up.

I stayed close to many of my colleagues; we worked together at other schools, and never lost the commitment to school community that we had learned at that early school.

I kept up with many from that first graduating class; they were my son's friends. When my son moved out on his own for the first time, they were his roommates, sharing rent to make independence affordable.

My son is 30 years old now, and none of us live in that community any longer. I'm a thousand miles away, and he lives about 5 hours away by car. He went back to watch the super bowl this year with his old roommates, and a bunch of that same 8th grade class that still live in the area.

On Monday, one of the roommates died. He was discovered by another roommate, who immediately called my son after calling paramedics and the parents, and my son immediately called me. At work. Shocked and grieving, I blasted off an email to one of the original teachers of that group, who immediately contacted every single one of the teachers who had taught this young man who was still available. 4 days before the district issued official condolences, all those who had worked together at that school back in the 80s had gathered together to mourn and support the family.

Today is his memorial service. I can't be there; there is no budget for a 2000 mile round trip this weekend. I spoke to my son again this morning, who said that he had gathered "almost everyone," with the exception of one old classmate he couldn't find, and that they are all there. They will all be there today, to remember this young man: his K-8 classmates, teachers, school secretaries, librarians...they are all there together.

20 years after the students left the school, and the school staff was redistributed by the district, they did not hesitate to come together for one of their own.

This is what makes a school powerful, and effective. Not programs. Not methodology. Not standards. Not test scores. Not authoritarian regimes.

Relationships. Community building. That's what results in positive outcomes for all who spend their time learning together.

I'm grieving today for a wonderful young man. I'm also celebrating the community gathering to remember him, to support and love his family, to affirm what I've known for all these years about why I'm a teacher, and what my vision of a good school, and a good education, consists of.

[Demeter]

1. I've Never Known That Sense of Community

with the exception of this tiny (less than 100 member) American Baptist church I sing at, which is luring me away from my Unitarian core by being such decent people. Their theology is the only thing holding me back from jumping the fence.

(I barter with the choir director who is my voice coach--lessons for singing in her choir).

[LWolf]

5. It's a wonderful thing,

and it transcends policy and politics.

:thumbsup: :thumbsup:

[mahina]

2. Let me be the first to reccomend your post,

which may be the most meaningful thing I've read here ever. That is what it's all about. God bless you and thank you for taking the time to share this.
Aloha.

[LWolf]

6. Thank you. n/t

[givemebackmycountry]

3. I'm happy to be sending this off to the front page -

Kicked and recc'd BIG time...

A very touching story that was also beautifully written

There's a reason this doesn't happen anymore.
The powers that be, don't like the idea of "community".
It's easier to deal with us one at a time instead of in tight knit groups.
Everything is happening for a reason.
God, how I believe that more now than ever.

[LWolf]

7. Now more than ever,

I'm reminded that this is what we need to build, where we need to be, to truly affect the positive change we wish to see nation and planet-wide.

To build the community and the relationships right where we are, so that all those small groups, founded in community, bring that to the larger.

Thank you for your words of support.

[varelse]

4. Truer words have never been spoken

This is what makes a school powerful, and effective. Not programs. Not methodology. Not standards. Not test scores. Not authoritarian regimes.

Relationships. Community building. That's what results in positive outcomes for all who spend their time learning together.

Thank you for this wonderful post. I wish I could rec it 100 times!

[LWolf]

8. You're welcome.

:hug:

[nashville_brook]

9. wow -- this is a powerful story. and sad. i'm sorry for your loss and your son's.

i think you are spot on about what makes school work, and what makes communities thrive. thank you for sharing -- so much. we need more of this -- narratives of connection. we need to relearn this.

[LWolf]

17. I think you've nailed something essential:

We need more narratives of connection.

We see disconnects everywhere we look. People disconnected from their government, from their party, from their family, from their neighbors. Distrust and opposition everywhere we look.

I grieve truly for the young man, and for his family. I am humbly grateful for the graphically illustrated reminder this week has been for me. It helps to stop flailing around in frustration, and look for a piece of solid ground, no matter how small, to begin rebuilding on.

So I share my process, hoping it will be helpful for others as well.

[nashville_brook]

19. "narraitves of connection" is something that i've been working on since college...

the teen beating thing has again raised my hackles on this. no matter what the "commercial" world wants us to believe, we are deeply social creatures. so much so that if someone comes into the office in a dark mood, we are affected. hell, i'm deeply affected when i get into heated words with ostensibly "anonymous" posters/people on DU.

likewise, we are deeply troubled when we find out our government tortures people -- and also when we discover that children are mimicking that behavior of violence and videotaped humiliation.

as our experience is increasingly determined by disconnection we lose the ability to anchor ourselves -- which makes it difficult to even perceive our alienation. we have a general sense of unease, but we aren't sure why. i think that we have a competing sick narrative right now that says that power is right no matter what. those with the biggest sticks are the most right and the most powerful. solidarity is sought in "powerful" gangs rather than loving families and communities.

i'm such a sap for the movie The Sound of Music -- and this is why. The young boy (16 going on 17) joined the Nazis exchanging the loving community for the "powerful gang." everywhere in that movie there's the tension between meaningful solidarity and pathological gang membership. the scene with the Nuns having monkeywrenched the Nazi's cars still sends me into a joyful fit.

[LWolf]

20. "The Sound of Music"

was my 2nd favorite movie growing up. I watched it repeatedly, and saw it performed on stage in 1967. I can still sing all those songs, word for word, all these years later.

My favorite was "Mary Poppins," and I can still sing all of those, too. ;)

You are right about the need for social connection. Gangs come out of the dark side of that need, while community comes out of the light, so to speak.

Gangs are everywhere, if you look. Nations, faiths, political parties, races, social classes, and more: we can find evidence of gang-like tendencies in them all.

All the more reason to focus on community building.

:thumbsup: :thumbsup:

[teacher gal]

10. Thank you LWolf

This is very powerful and you've stated it beautifully.

[LWolf]

18. You are welcome.

I want to encourage us all to keep our energies focused on what matters, what counts; we know how difficult that is sometimes in the face of today's world of anger, fear, blame, and dysfunction.

[lostnfound]

11. Thank you for sharing your story.

I am sorry that you had this sad news, but underneath your sorrow you are glad that at least you and yours have known such a beautiful bond. I believe that deep grief is always a sign of a deep and beautiful gratitude.

My son is about to enter 2nd grade, and I want him to start a new school also, because at the moment, the school that he is assigned to, supposedly one of the best in the city, seems to be full of "test scores and authoritarian regimes", practically discourages harmonious socializing, excludes parents from being a meaningful part of the process, and imposes a sense of "constant surveillance" at a level that I think is appropriate for the training of slaves. This is why everyday I think about my desire to homeschool him -- to safeguard his inventiveness, his curiosity, his intellect, his independent visions. I am afraid of his enslavement and dumbing down. But I know homeschooling -- in my home, at least -- won't provide the sense of community that you describe.

Numerous parents of graduates of the Montessori kindergarden where he went last year, whose kids are now scattered in 4 different elementary schools, are all frustrated, and we all want to hire our kids' old kindergarden teacher to teach again because she was top-notch AND she had the freedom to handle her own classroom without an onslaught of dictates from the principal and administration (and essentially from Bush's Federal government). There is nothing wrong with his current teacher. She is simply not free to teach or handle her classroom the way that she would want. In kindergarden he came home everyday excited about something he was learning, ang deeply attached to all (believe it or not, ALL) of his classmates. His first year is almost over, his attachments to classmates are weak and few, and I can count on one hand the number of times he has expressed excitement or interest in anything all year.

Sorry for wandering off. But I genuinely appreciated your post, not only was it heartwarming and touching, but it helps remind of a key element of education that I otherwise might be forgetting.

[LWolf]

14. I can relate to your situation.

Three years ago, I left the district I worked for for 25 years exactly because it had become that authoritarian regime that you describe so well.

I took a massive 1/3 paycut, loss of seniority, etc., to transfer somewhere that, in spite of the federal pressures, still tries to remember that teachers and students are people first.

Interestingly, for many years before the onslaught of the standards and accountability "movement," the school I worked at was a favorite of the local Montessori families when they were done there.

I hope you find a good placement for your son.

[blondie58]

12. Thank you, LWolf for expressing what is true to a good education

not the asinine NCLB program- where the poor teachers have to give tests to the kids on how to take "the test" or the money that the school receives is gone. My daughter was sick during the last CSAP test and the school called and harassed us to make sure that she was in class the next day of the test.

I am sorry for your (and your son's loss). Life is a gift. You never know when your number will be called.

I imagine that this community also did not have many of the problems that some do with vandalism, etc. A good school like that has earned the respect from their students.

[LWolf]

15. You are correct

about the reduction in behavior issues. I'll share something that happened with this 8th grade class, all those years ago:

I was coming through the school office, and I saw (2) 8th grade boys sitting on chairs outside the principal's office, looking exeedingly glum. I looked at them with raised eyebrows, and they jumped in to,explain their transgression. Then one of them looked at the principal's door with dread, sighed, and said, "She is going to be so disappointed in us." They dropped their heads in silent misery.

They weren't afraid of getting "in trouble." They weren't defiant. They weren't planning any "story" to save their bacon. They were crushed because they felt they'd violated the trust and confidence they'd been given.

I have never seen or heard of such a thing, not before, and not since we all went our separate ways, under more authoritarian "leadership." I've never forgotten it, though, and contemplate it frequently when my frustration level rises.

It's hard to develop that kind of relationship with just one adult on campus, or perhaps 2 or 3, attempting to do so. It really needs to be systemic.

[Jackpine Radical]

13. I sorrow with you in your loss--but even more,

I celebrate the strength of your community. The bounds of the community stretch far beyond any geographical limitations.

Your description of your school reminds me of my own experiences. Fifty-eight years ago this fall, in 1950, I began my formal education in a one-room country school with about 25 kids. It was heated by a coal and wood furnace (operated by child labor). The water came from a hand pump outside. The bathrooms were outhouses. And it was an incredible community. There were older and younger sibs in the same room. There were, on average, about 3 kids in each class. Older kids tutored and mentored younger ones. We not only knew each other, we knew each other's extended families. Bonds formed there were lifelong, although we too are scattered.

[LWolf]

16. Most of us, schooled in larger factory-model schools,

remember few of our classmates, and even less of our teachers. I really think that the smaller, more cohesive, closely bonded community not only teaches academics, but community itself.

It also sends the future generation on with positive memories about school, which does more to get community support for education, and to continue the process of creating that school community, than any laws and sanctions ever will.

[Jackpine Radical]

21. I agree entirely.

I note that 3 of us from my era in that country school went on for PhDs, which may be some indicant of its effectiveness. It was certainly a different time, a different place. I think much of the anomie in today's society is from the breakdown of a sense of community. I have made occasional posts about these ideas in the past, but I really ought to sit down & write at greater length about it one of these days.

[LWolf]

22. Please do,

and give me a heads-up when you do so. While I try to check into DU at least once a day, I'm not here often enough, or for long enough, on most days to catch much.

Perhaps it's a futile effort, but if each of us begins to make a bigger effort to focus the conversation on things like this, we can begin to shift the direction of the nation ourselves, instead of waiting for a leader to do so for us.

A pipe dream, or a possibility? I don't know, but I know it's worth a shot.

:thumbsup: :thumbsup:

[Jackpine Radical]

23. I think the whole community thing is going to become increasingly important

in the coming years. I expect neither Mother Nature nor the rest of the world will be especially kind to us when our economy races our environment into a condition of ruin.

The current pathological Randian individualism and the loss of a notion of the commons derive directly from the loss of a sense of community.

A strange thing happened a few years ago in my rural area. A neighbor decided to have a bonfire one summer night under a full moon and invited the entire neighborhood to come. A lot of people showed up. It turned out to be the first of many such events. We have done it at least 2 or 3 times a summer ever since. It's a wonderful event. It always makes me think of the hundreds of thousands of years during which our ancestors kept a similar custom of spending the evening sitting around a fire, gazing at the flames, talking, making jokes, and just sharing in a sense of togetherness.

[LWolf]

24. Before I moved,

there was a woman I knew who opened her house once a month on Saturday afternoon to other women who wanted to show up. She had a big place. It was potluck, and there were absolutely no plans or expectations of any kind. Sometimes a small group would be there, sometimes a large. Some would swim, some soak in her hot tub, some play pool, some play the guitar, some sit and chat, some curl up in the corner and stay quiet. Some book talks, card games, sometimes not. We stayed as long as we wanted; we could leave early or spend the night.

While the once a month Saturdays were for women, we also gathered as a whole community 3 or 4 times a year, in one place or another. One of my rural neighbors had a barbeque and bonfire every year, as well. I haven't found that same sense of community since I moved, but that's partly because I've been overwhelmed with trying to manage new responsibilities, and haven't reached out for it.

It seems like a good time to do so.

[Voice for Peace]

25. Thanks for this story.

I agree that the community aspect of a school is key to success. I saw this in a small private school where I worked and my kids attended for many years.

What I realized while I was there was that a good school can nourish the entire community. A school where kids are not only given a good education but taught to think for themselves, question, and where they learn real life skills such as conflict resolution, self-awareness, multicultural interracial interfaith tolerance & cooperation, communication, and more. Where the kids have an identity and they're respected even when they disagree with a teacher; they're not motivated to work out of fear of failure or fear of punishment, but because it is FUN and interesting day after day. They go home from school energized and excited about what they are learning. It's the nature of kids to love to learn!

The school sponsored activities and workshops that drew in families and encouraged, supported, educated the parents. Families naturally connected with each other. The kids brought home what they were learning, and nourished the family; the families nourished the community. It seemed so obvious, this is how it ought to work.

What I've seen in the public school system was the opposite in almost every way. Kids felt anonymous and pressured to succeed. Curriculum wasn't relatable or fun. Freedom of choice, movement, thought, expression was not encouraged and barely allowed. Kids crept "like snails unwillingly to school." They tuned out and turned off to learning. Parents were frustrated and felt unsupported by the school; teachers felt unsupported by the parents. Kids felt unsupported, period, and couldn't wait to get it over with so they could have fun. (I realize there are exceptional public schools but there is a lot of what I'm describing in the current system. Too much of it.)

If we want to change the country, it seems like a nobrainer that we should start by making the education system really wonderful -- for the kids. My kids didn't want to stay home from school, even when they were sick.

[LWolf]

26. Thank YOU for that wonderful affirmation

of what schools can be.

That has been the worst of the high-stakes testing phenomena: we've lost any pretense at love of learning. We must master THE STANDARDS. OR ELSE. Learning for the fascination, the joy of it, is just about extinct.

I'd like to bring it back from that brink.

[Voice for Peace]

27. I'd love to help bring it back. I haven't thought much about education since the kids

are grown. Years ago I thought about it all the time. I felt like the first thing needed was to bring the discussion more into the public arena, get more people examining what makes a good valuable education. (I remember a great Calvin & Hobbes cartoon where Calvin is trying to imagine what he'll remember and value as an old man... will it be getting his homework done, or playing in the snow? LOL)

I thought of making an outstanding film (but I'm not a filmmaker) -- interviewing people of all ages walks of life about what in their education/school experience made a difference in their lives. Interviewing kids who are IN school about how to make it better, more fun, more relatable.

I know a complete renovation of the school system is doable, possible. I don't know how, but I know it is, and I think it's crucial frankly. I'd love to collaborate with others on this issue, make something happen. Unfortunately I'm not good at getting anything done, but I've got great ideas.

[LWolf]

28. I think you've landed on a rich topic for discussion;

why not start with some of your ideas, posted in the ed forum so that they don't disappear overnight, invite others to add to the ideas, and see where we can go?

[Voice for Peace]

34. There's an ed forum?

LOL.. I have been here less than a year and have spent almost all of it in GD:p

Thanks for the good suggestion, I will check out that forum.

[LWolf]

35. Heh.

Welcome!

:hi:

[teacher gal]

29. This study affirms benefits of community

http://www.annenberginstitute.org/pdf/OrganizedCommunities.pdf

Funny, I just came across it and thought of your post. I am so very sorry for the loss of this young man but thankful that you shared this story. I have been angry and you've helped me recognize that I need to look more toward the positives and have a better outlook. Not easy since we are under siege but still, absolutely necessary. I've been too tapped into a level of negativity that isn't good. Still, I think we must keep up the fight to save our public schools, strengthen and improve them.

As to strengthening our schools and supporting our students better, you've hit on something very powerful and positive. I've just barely started reading the study I linked to here but I'm thinking it confirms what you are saying LWolf.

When you think about it, that's what life is all about....relationships. Community.

Thanks again!

[teacher gal]

30. PS

Not that you needed a STUDY to confirm this when you've lived and experienced it!!!!!!!

Just thought it might be of interest though.

[LWolf]

31. It's really difficult to stay focused on the positive

in the current climate. It's all about threat and denigration, and who feels positive under those conditions?

More than ever, we need to build the relationships and to be refreshed frequently with those community connections.

I certainly will never give up the effort to effect positive change.
The more community we build, the stronger that effort will be.

I look forward to reading this study. Thanks!

[Missouri Blue]

32. Good story, but I have to ask . . .

What does it really add to the debate about schools? You say it was the results of some kind of "program," but then you say " is what makes a school powerful, and effective. Not programs. Not methodology. Not standards. Not test scores. Not authoritarian regimes."

If it can't be produced by any such things, how can it even be a matter of political debate about how we fix our schools? How do we create such a thing? If not any of those things can create an effective and powerful school, then do we conclude that Relationships and Community are a matter of mere chance, and if it doesn't happen, we do nothing to improve schools?

I don't think that could be your point. So, if not by a program, how do we make more schools like that?

I find another real problem with trying to create communities and relationships, and that is that a human being could only have a limited amount of those. Like the teachers and students alike all came together for the funeral of that one student. I need to ask, would the same thing happen for his high school class? His graduating class in college? The company where he had his first internship? If every place that has benefited him with knowledge all have a sense of community, all of this community adds up in time and energy pretty quick.

The purpose of schools are to teach children important skills like math, reading, music and art, and important knowledge like geography and biology. We could forget about structural efforts like methodology or standards, but we better do it whether community and relationships form or not-- just do it.

[LWolf]

33. That was the point:

The district put the school together to pilot mastery learning and outcome-based education. The teachers and the parents brought the community piece. After a few years, it was no longer about mastery learning or outcome based education, but about partnership and the community we'd built.

The original purpose of the pilot school was gone, but the community remained.

Would they all come together for a high school student? Probably not. Why not? Because high schools are large. Everybody does not know and work with everyone else. Teachers have many students for short periods of time, and the relationship piece is difficult within that structure.

How to reproduce it? Here are some ways:

Start with small schools, where it is possible for everyone to know each other.

Make sure that teachers work together: have time to collaborate, share students, teach together as well as plan together.

Multi-age classes are a great opportunity, being more like an authentic community themselves.

Foster cross-age, cross-grade, and cross team collaboration, as well. Bring students and teachers from different ages, grades, and classrooms together regularly for multi-age and grade projects.

Teachers looping with students for more than one year also help build relationships.

Having an open campus that welcomes parent presence and input is vital. Parents who feel welcome are more supportive. When parents are always around, are present to see what's actually going on in class, they become partners. We involved our parents in many things.

Since we were a pilot school, we drew students from the entire district instead of just one neighborhood. We went out of our way to build community with many afterschool programs, and various evening activities to bring families together that otherwise never would have met. Parents helped plan and implement all of those things. They were working partners, not "clients."

Having leadership that works to build consensus, to value everyone while keeping the focus on the health of the school community, is also important. It's not possible to build that community under an authoritarian leader.

[Missouri Blue]

36. Thank you for clarifying.

These are some good ideas. I have thought that the relationship between the teachers, the parents, and the students is the most important thing. I have thought instead of having the teacher as a specialist, and having the students more to other rooms to meet with one teacher for that day, it would be much better if one teacher, two at the most, teach the students every subject that year. Yes, sometimes the teacher won't know a lot on a subject, but if the student knows her/him, and is with them for 6 hours a day, then there would be a relationship between teacher and child, and the parents. It could last for a few grades.

What to do if the teacher doesn't know a certain subject? Consult with the teacher who is. Perhaps bring that "expert" for a class or two, and have him or her collaborate with the other.

The problem is when you start to approach issues that really stop today's schools. School prayer. Evolution.