I need help.

[MichiganVote]

I work as a school social worker for a district. As such, I have to do evaluations, assessments...a whole host of things.

Here's my problem.

A couple of years ago I participated in the evaluation of a student for special ed. services. It was a collaborative effort with the psychologist, speech and language and so on. The child did not meet the eligibility requirements and it was a collaborative decision by the MET team. For the last couple of years the parent has targeted me as the person who denied her child and has spoken badly and lied about me in the community. Now it is affecting my work as this parent has become an advocate for another family.

I really give my best in my work but I am so saddened and stressed by this. What should I do? I cannot give more specifics about the evaluation so please don't ask.

[femmocrat]

1. Are you in a union?

If so, you should have legal representation through them. You might have a slander case, if her actions are affecting your professional standing in the community.

If not, I would consider hiring an attorney. You could at least find out if you have a case, and possibly a letter of warning from an attorney would be enough to deter this person.

I assume you have proof of your allegations, though. Good luck!

[MichiganVote]

3. I am going to have a conversation with the union as a just in case measure,

I think that if the district administration will stand behind me I can weather the storm. If not, then I need a back up plan as this parent is very clever.

I really care about kids...I give my best and I have the best to give...but I am just so tired of this.

I do not have verifiable proof that the person lies in terms of emails and so on. Those administrators I have worked with know of the instability that is inherent in this persons make up.

[elleng]

6. Michigan, I am an attorney

and I agree with femmocrat; there definitely are steps you can take.

VERY SORRY you even have to think of such! Good Luck.

[MichiganVote]

10. Oh I think I love you! I just want to be prepared just in case.

I do not want to give the current parent, not the angry one, trouble. Even if the new parent if of the same ilk, I want what is best for the child.

PM me with any of your suggestions. Thank you so much for responding.

[elleng]

14. You're welcome, Michigan.

I have some general thoughts, but I'm not giving specific legal advice; I do think that you should consult union and/or attorney, depending on the nature of the jeopardy you think you may be in.

Definition of 'slander' is below, and all such can be found at google.

Are there written standards for you and the team?

How is what the angry parent is doing effecting your work?

As to the current parent, does she NEED help, from anyone? Seems as if advice from angry parent would not be helpful, due to attitude.

And how is the 'old' student doing? Do you/team ever reevaluate these decisions?

These are general questions/thoughts/issues. You may PM me if you'd like.

Good luck.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

9. Without substantive proof,

you have no case. Your best bet is to see what the union advises you.

That's it. There's really nothing you can do unless you're directly threatened, and you'd need a witness to back up that allegation.

Make sure you fully inform your union rep about everything, including your fears. And be careful to whom you voice these concerns, since the knife cuts both ways.

Be strong. It'll shake out all right, I suspect. Your reputation will keep you safe.

[MichiganVote]

11. Thanks. I agree its important to look where you're steppin' and I will.

[elleng]

16. Michigan, because you said the below,

I figured you have 'substantive proof,' as suggested by Tangerine.

"has spoken badly and lied about me in the community."

That should get you pretty far, depending on where/what you want, as in 'cease and desist' or compensation if you loose $ as a consequence.

[MichiganVote]

18. I sent you a more complete explanation ....

[elleng]

20. You have mail

.

[Adsos Letter]

2. I'm no lawyer...

and I know that there are some on this board, so maybe they will weigh in...

Anyway, I would think that spreading confirmable lies about you that effect your work would be actionable for slander; just speculating.

Kick for the lawyers...

[MichiganVote]

5. I am wondering what does constitute slander yes........

[elleng]

7. A type of defamation.

Slander is an untruthful oral (spoken) statement about a person that harms the person's reputation or standing in the community. Because slander is a tort (a civil wrong), the injured person can bring a lawsuit against the person who made the false statement.

http://www.nolo.com/definition.cfm/term/85BAB88B-0660-4AB6-A2F5C32E716A6D52

[MichiganVote]

12. Close...very close but no cigar. Meaning, she is playing it very cleverly.

[elleng]

17. Questions and answers

that might help.

http://injury-law.freeadvice.com/libel_and_slander/

[MichiganVote]

19. Great! Thank You!

[Systematic Chaos]

4. Sorry I'm no lawyer, but based on what you say...

...there out to be sufficient documentation to launch a successful suit against this family for slander or libel. You gave an honest assessment and now they're screwing with your livelihood? I don't think so.

I liken it to one of the only redeeming things about my last casino dealing job. If we got an asshole customer who tried to get a dealer fired over any petty little thing just because they were in over their head and wanted to spread the misery, that player was pretty much out on his ear. The pay was lousy but if you did your job correctly management totally had your back.

Anyway, back to your problem: I feel sorry for that kid because I realize that if you launch a legal attack against the family the kid's gonna suffer too, but there's no other way I see for you to keep your own career intact. No matter what you choose to do, though, I wish you a good outcome. :)

[MichiganVote]

8. Thank you. Right now a casino job sounds pretty good.:)

And yes, there are ethical issues at play for me in this whole thing. That's why I have solicited the opinions of others. I am the person to assess the social/emotional aspects of this case and frankly I don't see much to dispute in this recent case. But the angry parent has ruined my chance to build a relationship with this family now.

AND---I am really good at what I do!!!

Thank you for your comments.

[Nevernose]

27. A casino job would certainly pay more, lol

Says the teacher in Vegas...

[Olney Blue]

13. A good part of this story is that you were part of a TEAM decision- that

means there must have been considerable documentation of the reason for the denial. I hope you have been able to receive support from your team, as well as your principal through this awful ordeal.
As you indicated, the parent is very likely taking his/her frustration out on you because of the struggles of their child. You have to know that this is NOT your fault. Please take care of yourself and find the support you need!

Teachers are wonderful.

[MichiganVote]

15. Yes, I have ample documentation. It was a very through report. And I could show collaboration with

other service providers both in my field and outside of it.

And thank you for your remarks about it not being my fault. I know it but when you're working under these circumstances its difficult not to 2nd guess what amounts to a bully. The ironic thing is that her kid has been just fine.

I appreciate your kind remarks.

[Cresent City Kid]

21. Glad to hear the kid's okay

How did you get singled out? Were you the primary contact for the family?

[MichiganVote]

22. Yes. Since the original parent, the one who is mad at me was difficult to

communicate with I was elected the go to person. All it did was now make me a target.

[proud2BlibKansan]

23. Talk to your union

[MichiganVote]

24. :) Planning to. Thanks.

[madeline_con]

25. Let the team know what's going on.....

alert your supervisor.

[MichiganVote]

26. Done. Thanks.

[LuckyLib]

28. Lots of good advice here. You know that, generally, the school district will not be supportive.

Most school districts are drowning on every front. So it's up to teachers to garner their own legal advice, and seek personal support from colleagues. I also never, ever meet with a parent in this situation that there is not another professional present. The "go to" person is a duo. I also use the word professional in every venue -- with principals, parents, union folks, etc. -- "in my professional judgment," "as a special education professional, etc." Our society has allowed educators to be so diminished that any parent on a high horse feels capable of challenging your every decision.

Hang in there. As others have said, your professionalism will be your rock. Toxic folks have a way of being very loud and very visible. Your quiet reliance on data, other colleagues, and your own experience will rise above this hassle.

[MichiganVote]

29. Thank you.