What do you call you SO?

[motely36]

How do you refer to your Significant Other in public? Do you call them your friend, partner, husband, wife, or something else?

I generally use partner or my partner's first name. I'm tempted to start using husband, but don;t know how people will react.

Just curious about the rest of y'all.

[soleft]

1. right now girlfriend

But at which time we legalize I'd probably go with spouse. I just like it.

[Bronco69]

2. I say partner, but my partner says spouse. eom

:-)

[Downtown Hound]

3. Girlfriend

[TlalocW]

4. When I have one

It's girlfriend.

In private, my best pet name for one girlfriend was "Cookie Pants."

TlalocW

[SnowBack]

5. Husband - since we got married last February

in Toronto....
:party:

[Chovexani]

7. Aww, congrats!

:toast:

[chicagojoe]

10. Congratulations !!!

[SnowBack]

16. After 17 years, we decided to make it legal...

:party:

[Chovexani]

6. When I dated women

I just used "girlfriend". I figure it's only fair because when I date guys I use "boyfriend".

One of my gay friends uses "husband" but he's been in that relationship for years and is registered with the city, etc. It never really raises eyebrows because a) we live in a really blue city and b) this guy is like the gayest gay that ever gayed a gay, bless him. :)

[Tangledog]

8. We've defaulted to "life partner"

"Life partner" seems to work pretty well in professional settings, e.g., explaining the next-of-kin pecking order to a physician. I don't especially like it, but, cranky old gasbag that I am, I don't like any of the substitutes all that much.

[chicagojoe]

9. I know this thread isn't really for me...

...but my wife and I have been referring to each other as "my hetero
life mate". Our gay friends think it's hysterical.

[motely36]

12. That's a hoot!

[La Lioness Priyanka]

11. depends on the gender

i used to call my ex, my wife

i currently call my bf, my partner.

[TommyO]

13. Partner or Husband

depending on the company we were in (note the past-tense, now I call him my ex or best-friend, depending on the company we're in!)

[Technowitch]

14. Wife.

For she and I are as married as California's DP laws and a bunch of legal paperwork can make us.

We even married in SF, back when they were doing the weddings.

Far more important than ANY legal recognition of our relationship, we have what we know is in our hearts.

For what it's worth though... occasionally to avoid spooking the 'mundanes' as we call 'em, I'll use the term 'partner' or 'spouse.'

-Technowitch

[pagerbear]

15. Find me one and I'll figure it out.

[FreeState]

17. Everything and nothing

First name, honey, sweety, lover, partner, husband and sometimes asshole (just kidding:)

[arwalden]

18. Husband, Partner

[puttothesword]

19. depends...

everything from "the wife" to "the ball and chain" to "you insensitive *!#$" ;)

generally, it's just "wife". I get shit for it sometimes, but, eh... I've always found the other terms to have problems:

partner: implies that our relationship is business oriented.

girlfriend: implies that I'm in highschool or that we've been together for like 3 months.

lover: woah, helllllo 1976! also sounds like it's all about sex.

spouse: sounds too sterile.

significant other: too damn long.

yeah, i know some folks don't dig "wife" but pft, I stopped caring long ago.

[foreigncorrespondent]

20. It all depends on the situation.

If I am introducing her to someone then I either go with "and this is my partner..." and give her name or, I begin with my partners name, and then follow with the the name of the other person. (When we get married though, I will be introducing her as my spouse regardless of the situation. I will not disrespect my parter for the sake of making someone comfortable.)

If we are out in public though, I tend to still call her "baby". Since we met I have been calling her baby, or honey, etc, and it is now a hard habbit to break. And a habbit I refuse to break, just because people are uncomfortable with a same sex couple. And before some jump all over me, ask me first if I kiss my partner, or hold her hand in public in an area that isn't known to be a gay area.

I think the only time I ever use her name, is through introduction, or when I am angry with her. LOL

[Sapphocrat]

24. That's the truth - LOL

I think the only time I ever use her name, is through introduction, or when I am angry with her. LOL

Same here -- I think the only time I call you by your given name is when I'm pissed off. LOL But, I call you by your full first name when I'm being especially sweet (or solicitous). Go figure -- but in truth, I'm fonder of your full first name than I am by the diminutive you're usually known by. (It's one of the prettiest names in the world.) But most of the time, I just call you "baby" (YOU got me into that habit - LOL) or "honey." (And sometimes any of a number of cloying, revoltingly-sweet pet names I will never, ever, ever divulge on a public forum. LOL)

ANYWAY, to answer the original question... It depends who I'm talking to. In MY day (by cracky!), lesbians and gay men just referred to their lovers as lovers -- and when I'm talking to another gay person, I'll still just refer to "my lover."

That, however, freaks out a lot of straight people -- even my very open-minded mom doesn't like "lover," because the emphasis is on sex, not the relationship. So, when I'm talking to a straight person, I say "my partner." (Sometimes "my girlfriend," but "girlfriend" doesn't carry the weight of "partner.")

"Significant other" is a mouthful, and few people recognize "S.O."

I've heard fc refer to me as her fiancee, which is fine by me.

When we're finally married, I'll just call her my wife.


P.S. OT, but: I understand the worst thing a straight man can hear from his (unmarried) girlfriend is his full first name, followed by a pause -- because the next two words are inevitably "...I'm pregnant."

[foreigncorrespondent]

25. Yes!

There are two names you give me when you are pissed with me. LOL Either the name I am known by, or another name. I won't mention it here, because I don't think you even realize you do it, but I will say it isn't anything nasty, thank God for that! LOL Would break my heart if you called me something nasty!

[almostallhere]

21. girlfriend.

when we settle into something permanent, i'm not sure what i'll change it to...

[Behind the Aegis]

22. partner

Usually partner, although I hate that, but there really is nothing else that sounds good. My mom says I should call him my PACIL, Partner and Companion in Life. She is an odd duck sometimes. :)

[ronnykmarshall]

23. The ol' Ball and Chain.

That queen over there.

The reason I'm going out of my mind.

[Terran]

26. "Partner" to those I'm not sure about

"Spouse" to those I know are cool with it. "Husband" (and "husbear" for that matter) are too damn cute for my taste.

[Blade42]

27. Husband

First name around his parents, but husband anywhere else I figure that we'll start on them soon though.

[undergroundpanther]

28. my catpanion

my partner, my companion. Or I just say his name.
We are both Bi,I am transgender and our relationship is open to others if we discuss first and make sure all is safe ect.,we have beebn companions for 9 years,We have ground rules we crafted for ourselves that we both agree with in our relationship to ensure trust is maintained,3rd paries don't become problems and power is not misused.We are just emotionally committed to each other first ,So if people who are invited into our lives try to mess with our emotions or encourage one of us to neglect the other we tell them we will not tolerate such jealous competition games out of a person who does not have tolerance and respect for the other partner's priority in the relationship.
We have very clear boundaries that respect each other.
It's a unique situation because we are unique people.
..

[vajraroshana]

29. I don't really have many occasions to refer to my partner...

in public.

We're kinda deeply closeted as a couple.

We've been together for 18 years here in good ol' Alabama.

He's my "huzbear" fer sure.

Sweet cuddly huzbear.

I love him more than you can ever imagine, whether I call him "huzbear", "sweetie" "darling" or even "hey you" or just "Tom". He likes it when I call him "Tom".

I love Tom so much it sometimes hurts.

[readmoreoften]

34. vajraroshana!

:pals: it sucks to have to hide your affection. after 18 years, that's a lot of love to have to cover up.

cheers to you and your huzbear!

Privately I call my sweetie, my boy (he's a transgendered butch dyke) and in public I call him HE or my boyfriend to other GLBT folks or people who know us. To strangers I either explain the situation or I call him SHE and my GIRLFRIEND. I do this because I want to respect my partner's sense of self but I don't want to contribute to femme invisibility by saying something that will lead people to believe I'm straight.

Sometimes I call him 'my goddamn ex husband' just because we like how trashy it sounds.

[Padraig18]

30. Life-partner, or mate.

:)

[biggaypatrick]

31. SO...HELL NO....HUSBAND!

In the wake of the marriage ammendments in the 11 states...including my own of Michigan...I asked my four brothers their opinion of said ballot measures...much to my dismay, they all agree with the language. I have always taken a kinder, gentler approach with my family and friends...we all know that words of traditional commitment in a gay relationship often make people flinch...grimace...or worse, have extreme gastrointestinal activity! I have always used the word partner. Be it known from the point of November 2, 2004...I know call my partner my husband. Being at this stage in our relationship...I think its right! I encourage all young people...old people...middle age people to begin using the traditional terms. Though we may not believe in all things traditional...they are taking our rights away...it is their intent. And from the results of the ballot initiatives, they can sneak it through without much of a fight from our straight brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, cousins, and friends! According to the ACLU, they only way to begin working this issue is to get people to feel common about homosexual relationships...more common than Will and Grace...everyday...in their face...in our churches...synagogues...everywhere! Once it becomes "common" we will begin winning in state courts...and once we fight our battle there...we can take on the federal courts and then on to the United States Supreme Court. So please...be done with the generic "significant other" or "partner" or "life partner" or "better half" or whatever...and start using their words. Its a fight for our rights...and we have to start somewhere. So come on husbands, boyfriends, wives and girlfriends...lets all get married...and enjoy the same benefits bestowed upon the straight poplulation. Please also support the HRC and GLBT Task Force..DONATE...VOLUNTEER...GET INVOLVED...COME OUT TO FAMILY, CLERGY, EDUCATORS.

[Misunderestimator]

32. Partner. I have never felt comfortable using the term wife or husband

Why adopt those plainly heterosexual terms anyway? It still divides the genders. So you have a husband/husband, which is different than a wife/wife... not to mention a husband/wife. On the other hand, I understand wanting to take their words away, so have at it. :)

[renaissanceguy]

33. I don't care what you call it privately.

But the government should call all unions and the titles of the couples the same thing across the board.