Kept From a Dying Partner’s Bedside

[groovedaddy]

When a loved one is in the hospital, you naturally want to be at the bedside. But what if the staff won’t allow it?

That’s what Janice Langbehn, a social worker in Lacey, Wash., says she experienced when her partner of 18 years, Lisa Pond, collapsed with an aneurysm during a Florida vacation and was taken to a Miami trauma center. She died there, at age 39, as Ms. Langbehn tried in vain to persuade hospital officials to let her visit, along with the couple’s adopted children.

“I have this deep sense of failure for not being at Lisa’s bedside when she died,” Ms. Langbehn said. “How I get over that I don’t know, or if I ever do.”

The case, now the subject of a federal lawsuit in Florida, is being watched by gay rights groups, which say same-sex partners often report being excluded from a patient’s room because they aren’t “real” family members.

And lawyers say the case could affect the way hospitals treat all patients with nonmarital relationships, including older people who choose not to marry, unmarried heterosexual couples and single people who rely on the support of close friends rather than relatives.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/19/health/19well.html?_r=1&th&emc=th

[William769]

1. What a fucking travesty!

If that would have happened to me 3 years ago when my partner 0f 16 years died, I would have shown up with a gun. :mad:

[Deja Q]

2. Rotten. Just a rotten thing to do.

So I wanted my bestest friend to be at my bedside, that would be disallowed because it's not a member of the opposite gender, for which I am tethered to by a religious doctrine.

That's silly.

Best friends CAN be family.

Not ALL families involve sexuality either. Why should they be discriminated against? Or two consenting adults of the same gender? Some religious people might dislike it, but they don't need to force their way unto everything.

Any two consenting adults not bound by genetics (blood relatives) can be family too. Anything apart from incest, sexually speaking.

But, for example, 4 best friends that treat each other as family - what the hell is wrong with that. (note I didn't say whether or not they're a foursome. That's none of our business, nor is it pertinent, so everyone can keep guessing all they'd like. I'm sorry such guessers are so shallow.)

It's cases like this where I can truly appreciate lawyers.

I am so sorry Janice wasn't allowed to sit beside Lisa. That is just WRONG. Morally WRONG.

[mitchtv]

3. ther have been many threads about this case

what's new is the lawsuit news . I wish them luck. My partner was denied visitiation when I was in the Hospital, luckily my doctor came along and corrected the nurse

[Mythsaje]

4. If someone tried to keep me from seeing my Other

they'd be very glad they were IN a hospital. They'd need to be.

Not saying it's a solution. It isn't. But they don't make security people big enough for that. My father and his GF of 20 years aren't married, but I seriously doubt anyone's going to stop HIM. In fact, I know they haven't even tried.

This shit pisses me off... and it even makes me madder that this poor woman was a neighbor (Lacey ain't that far away from Tacoma) mistreated by Floridian idiocy.

[pacalo]

5. "...let patients define their own circle of intimacy."

:mad:

[allanrbrts]

6. Very Sad!

I saw that story on early on the Empowering Spirits Foundation website. It is a very sad indication of the bigotry still prevalent in our society.

[ThomCat]

7. They immediately informed the sister of her condition

and where she was, after saying nothing at all to her wife and kids? :wtf:

That right there is absolute proof of discrimination. It is proof that they ignored the Power of Attorney form they had on file.

:grr:

I hope that hospital gets sued for such a hell of a lot of money that no hospital will DARE to make that same bigoted judgment again! Let them fear for their bottom line if that is all they care about more than their bigotry.

[groovedaddy]

8. This happened years ago to a friend of mine. His long time partner's family

banned him from visiting.
This is just flat out barbarism. Civilized people don't act this way.