Why does same activity make one guy gay and another not?

[ladeuxiemevoiture]

I was watching Oz on DVD this weekend, and there's a new inmate, Omar, who is looking for drugs, and he approaches O'Reilly, who suggests exchanging drugs for a "favor" and Omar says, "what, you want a blowjob?", and a shocked O'Reilly protests, "Yo, I'm not gay!" and the subtext there got me thinking:

This notion (that an adult man who receives fellatio from another adult man is gay) is weird to me. I mean, if I knew absolutely nothing about the scriptwriter, I could tell you beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is a white, Anglo man, because there does not appear to be such prohibitions against same-sex sexual activity among men in some non-Anglo cultures, which sometimes hold that a man's sex drive is overwhelming at times, and relief in the form of a BJ is understandably welcome, not something which makes you gay.

Just an observation - what do you think?

[getmeouttahere]

1. All I know is, although I have no problem with...

anyone getting a blowjob from anyone of their choosing, I don't find receiving a blowjob from another man appealing. Am I to be chastised for that?

[Meeker Morgan]

7. Don't like a blow job from another man?

Not gay, I say.

Not that there's anything wrong with that!

:eyes:

[personman]

2. Seriously...

"This notion (that an adult man who receives fellatio from another adult man is gay) is weird to me."

Wow... I have no idea what to say... just...wow...

[William769]

3. Does it really matter?

Live & let live.

[wli]

4. look to the ancients

The taboo aspect of homosexual sexual intercourse among the ancients was feminization, specifically having to do with penetration. This sort of affair persists in more modern cultures and subcultures to this day.

[kweerwolf]

5. Some cultures define 'gay' as being ...

... the receptive partner, but consider the penetrative partner as straight. I've noticed that especially in (ok ... this is a generalization, so don't shoot the messenger) in traditional Latino/Hispanic cultures where there is an emphasis on machismo.

Even in the gay community where some guys identify as strictly tops or bottoms, there is an aura of sexism to it. The tops are more likely to consider themselves as 'butch' and tend to put down bottoms as 'queens.'

A lot of it is rooted in sexism. If women aren't valued, then guys who are seen to enact a feminine/receptive role are viewed as less than 'real men' and placed on the same level as women.

[ladeuxiemevoiture]

6. That's what I mean when he said "Yo, I'm not gay!" to such a proposition

It would be an active role which O'Reilly would be adopting, and only someone with Anglo hang-ups about sex would respond to such an offer with, "I'm not gay." Bear in mind that, if you are not familiar with the series (or even the cluster of episodes preceding this particular episode), O'Reilly is a slut, giving and getting from all sorts of women in the clink. So the hang-up is not about sex. Not about premarital or extramarital sex. Not about prostitution (since he himself acts as a sort of prostitute to a female prison guard). It's as though he's saying, "No, I don't want a BJ from you because I would only want one from you if I were gay, and I'm not gay, so I don't want a BJ from you." The logic boggles, but it's interesting to consider.

Or at least, the question this left me with is, why is it that if O'Reilly receives a BJ from another man, he's gay, and if, say, Adebisi does, he's not (which he did, which was supposed to demonstrate the immorality of the system under Querns as Em City director - and remember, this was pre-Lawrence v. Texas striking down sodomy laws nationwide)?