Need Witty Combebacks for idiots

[yankeeinlouisiana]

I’ve been seeing Dani for about 8 months now. When we first got together, I knew he would occasionally cross-dress, but after a couple of months being intimate, he told me that what he really wants is to be a girl. We went through a little bit of a rough period in our relationship, but I stayed with him and have helped him in his decision to be a girl full-time (i.e., fashion tips, makeup tips, moral support, etc.).

The problem is that Dani is 6’3” and about 200 pounds. He wants to be more like 5’7” and 115 pounds. He is very masculine (and that was part of my attraction to him), but when he dresses like a girl, I still think he’s beautiful and sexy and I can see a softer, feminine side to him. The problem is sometimes when we go out other people will say derogatory things to him. He has always been a bit of a fighter and when people call him names, that side of him comes out and unfortunately, it doesn’t make him feel much like a girl.

Now, the solution to this problem is that I need to say something and defend Dani. I know if someone was rude to me he would be more than willing to defend me. My question is, what do I say to these idiots we meet on the street? I was never very good at witty comebacks, but I need to defend Dani so it will take the responsibility out of his hands, put it into my hands and he can still feel like a girl.

Any ideas?

[YOY]

1. If Dani is 6'3" and you live in the right place...you won't need to say jack.

Good friend is TG. Nobody says anything to her. She's 6'2" and built like a brick shithouse.

Besides...fuck idiots. Who cares what you say to them witty or otherwise. You're just wasting your breath.

[yankeeinlouisiana]

3. We live in New Orleans

and we still get shit from some people. I've tried to tell her that, but it really bothers her, so I thought if I were to say something she can still feel girly or maybe even more so.

[d_r]

2. look them in the eye

and say with a moderate tone, not getting loud "don't be such an asshole, just live and let live, its OK"

You don't want to escalate the situation into confrontation. Just cool it off.

Or if you can't help feeling antagonistic say "what's wrong, you afraid you can't get some of his cock now?"

[yankeeinlouisiana]

4. I never want to escalate the situation, but when

stuff like this happens, she's ready to bash their heads in. I am trying to defuse the situation so she won't be so offended.

[Rainngirl]

5. Blessings to both of you.

Whatever they say, I would say back: "Is that what Jesus would say?" Because you KNOW if they are enough of an asshole to say something mean, they probably consider themselves "good" christians. Best of luck to you both. (P.S. You could come to Seattle. There's a pretty supportive community here.)

[demwing]

6. Don't say anything, just plant a big, slow , wet one on Dani

and make sure they see it, and that you both enjoy it.

the best revenge is to enjoy yourself!

[yankeeinlouisiana]

9. Oooo, I like that one!

[d_r]

13. yeah that is the best reaction right there

and then ignore

[La Lioness Priyanka]

7. i have the same problem in reverse.i would have a frank conversation with dani

there are ways you can help him feel feminine and things that he is better at. if he is better at dealing with the homophobes, the transmisogynists then its probably best that he handles that aspect of your relationship.

[stuball111]

8. If people say derogatory stuff.. I'd just ignore them...

There are a lot of nuts out there, best not to egg them on in any way. I think of your safety more than anything here, some people look for an excuse to retaliate to remarks, even though they start it. Flash em a "peace" sign and keep on truckin...but keep some pepper spray handy..(wasp spray works good too)

[yankeeinlouisiana]

10. That's my concern too. All the nuts out there.

I try and tell her, "let it go, they're just idiots", but there's just part of her that wants to kick their asses.

One night we were out and she was sitting down on some steps and somebody walked by and said something. I stood in-between where she was sitting and the people walking by to block her view. All she had to do was stand up and she looked right over me. I'm 5'4" so she's almost a foot taller than me. I'm sure with time as she becomes more comfortable with herself this won't be such an issue.

[stuball111]

11. Absolutely...nothing wrong with what she wears! It's just clothes...

What you do is none of their business..just have fun and love each other... that's all that's required of you!:toast: :hi:

[donco6]

12. Wit just can't be preplanned.

And if you don't have the auto-comeback skill, don't sweat it. Those people are never going to be friends of yours anyway, right? Screw them. They're not worth the brain damage. Or the knuckle damage.

[Mimosa]

14. Dani would get hassled anywhere except in an all gay neighborhood

In general NOLA is the most tolerant place re: gender bending. I don't know how long you've lived there but my partner and I lived there for nearly 20 years.

6'3" and 200 lbs would make a born female get stared at. Dani doing his thing publicly means some people are always going to gawk. I have a feeling he's couldn't pass for Sigourney Weaver.

Dani shouldn't fight. In NOLA a smile and a sense of humour will get 'her' by. Avoid tourist areas. Those are the gawkers and the hasslers. The natives are used to about everybody and anything! LOL

[Piwi2009]

15. This may not be witty, but might be effective

Just tell em "Don't talk to us, we don't want your company." Put em on the defensive.

[Mimosa]

16. No, that's just mean.

Piwi, it wouldn't play well in Louisiana. And with some it might amp some hostility. Better to just smile and ignore, not engage. Remember that in NOLA there is a bit of post-Kat PTSD and one never knows what might set off some strange person. Anything which could turn violent is bad.

Again, the most likely people to be hostile to that which they perceive as 'strange' are young male tourists, white or black. In one case a friend of a friend of mine, a middleaged MD who had lived in Lakeview, once was merely friendly to a straight tourist sitting with friends at a table in Irene's. The twenty something year old guy waited for the doc to leave the restaurant and beat him up outside on the sidewalk. The doctor died in hospital about a week later.

One has to be careful in NOLA because of tourists who drink too much.